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I’m picturing Rayvin Luded out his mind, trying to open his car doors with his feet and just apologising left, right and centre to trees, bins and the pavement.

You could buy two charlie wykes with that

He really is perfect for them. A complete tramp, mental, small time and totally delusional. Just need to see that middle aged bloke in the woolly hat who does commentary from his mam’s attic now

We're being a bit harsh here like. Lincoln City are a decent side. Their highest league position was 5th. In the second tier. In 1902.

Wasn't it 1977?

Richard Keys, man. What a fucking knacka.

I will never understand why people choose to humiliate themselves with stuff like this Is it a complete lack of self awareness? Is he in on the joke?

Is it weird you're after?

Mam “What you doing up there?” woolly hat “Im making another sunlan video mam” mam “Argh no, not again, why cant you wank off to porn like a normal man?”

He’s broken in to the local dance studio.

It would be bad enough if it was just shite off the top of his head, but the saddest part is he’s clearly wrote down this shambolic little ode to Wyke and even had a long think about the instrumental that it will (dubiously) go with. Of course being a mackem he’s elected to go with what sounds like New Monkey, which as we all know is the music to all major mackem social events.

Aye, like he recorded that and then watched it back and though yup I want to put that onto Twitter for everyone to see. What a nobber, “fight for the future of the mackems” they are utterly tragic.

#Fleamarket, #heronfoods, #amazon #business #winning #pissstains #incest

Just jump straight to 1:49 Poor bloke looks and sounds like he might have COVID too

It seems he did his brand of commentary over today’s “heartbreaker”, I’ve not watched but I’m sure it’s brilliant.

Ironically sugar was probably the only natural ingredient in his red bull knock off

one more for the road, take it away for all the MLF's out there..... 🎵 🎶

Established third tier side.

Losing 2-0

Like Sunderland till I die but less Mickey Mouse.

Phenomenal this bloke man. So many twists and turns, first he mentions his second hand battery acid is sugar free and it’s exclusively on Amazon (big news as it means even #HeronFoods won’t stock it), completely ignoring that it’s not the good type of exclusive in which he signed an exclusivity deal with Amazon it’s more he’s ran out of places to sell it so he whacks it on there and then drives the two orders from the mad mistake a month to his local post office. Then his big update about the Monaco Grand Prix is that he’s excited for it, no doubt he will be watching on tv but will nick some photos off someone that’s there to pretend he is, “Mercedes let me test drive the car, even asked if I could take over for Hamilton as they’ve never seen a better driver... I told them to fuck off as they asked me to wear a mask #business”. The final play of this master piece was to announce Sunderland are the best club in Europe, proving that he has clearly been sniffing glue in what looks like an abandoned community centre.

Some gormless middle aged mackem so terrible at YouTube match commentary he can even rope a mate in to help out so there’s at least the odd exchange of views. It’s basically a 90 minute monologue from a bloke who looks dead behind the eyes and sounds like he’s literally dying.

Just objectively, why would you want to watch two hours of some semi articulate humourless knob in a woolly hat watching a joke club play a crappy match? I cant fathom who would be entertained by this, pisstakes aside.

It’d be gutting to lose him but you can’t exactly blame the bloke for wanting to play for a club with ambition and a manager and an owner with half a clue about the game. Plenty of top clubs would happily take him

Hey, it's an Amazon EXCLUSIVE.

I have 10 pounds in my Desk Drawer from the time I was in Newcastle, In case it helps to sign Willock

Elton John reckons sorry seems to be hardest word, Rayvin's like.....

Lincoln goal assisted by Bridcutt. Their ex player I believe. Guffaw

Mustn’t be a real fan giving your ticket away

It’s all about the family anyway.

I was going to buy some bitcoins with my bitquids, I had eleventy bitquids worth £200,000 which I originally bought with an absent thought in my mind free of charge. Was going to just pay 50 Meths for one bitcoin so would only need to break into one bitquid as I thought shrapnel wouldn't be missed if the bitcoin kept falling on the market.

Are you playing the Dad Tent mid-afternoon pre-snooze spot?

Do Sunderland brides go down the aisle to Scooter?

Tbf he’s only 11

Certainly an upside for whoever's crony gets that job

Lucky you, but don't boast!

Likes his dinners… there’s nearly two of him there

It’s pre-pre-Scouts. Beavers—Cubs—Scouts—Prison So aye, what Quiff said.

My Instagram is private, so fuck you Piers.

You should make your Instagram private.

The summer is saved.