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Looks that way. Going off the numbers

This isn’t the forum you’re looking for

I’m taking my boy to this, his first trip to St James

Currently averaging 18 tizzes per 3.62 posts

Well this has been special The two standout moments I can remember for Shelvey for this season are being subbed on against Spurs and being sent off again within 10 minutes for two separate bookings, and floating a harmless free kick into the box for an easy opposition clear instead of shooting against a team that had an outfield player in net with 1 minute left to play in a game we needed to win. Clearly a player of absolute quality. "We played him so he must be good". FFS. We hired Bruce and kept him for 2 seasons man. And he was anything but good.

Smiling like Adam Pearson is stood next to him

Look, we’ve already got Fish on this board. One like him is enough. Bore off

Make your mind up ffs!

He trudged through the South Shields showroom of DFS like Crocket from Miami Vice, 'The match? Suckers be going to canon league division one games and this sofa doyen ain't no sucker.'

Suckmaplums

Sorry CT, did you mean to post this here? Mixing up your logins is an easy mistake to make during the menopause.

Calling him a coward will rile the fuck out of him imo. 1) Because he likes to think of himself as a modern day Churchill and 2) it’s true

Wait a minute. Is... is essembee Keir Starmer?

Ashley apologist with a twist, he's a boring as fuck divvy who distorts stats to support his point. Even from the worst Ashley hoop-lickers you rarely hear that Benitez "got the club relegated," that's a fucking new one. Here then you impostor, how about comparing apples to apples? Bruce wasn't at NUFC for 3 years as you state, he was here from 17 July 2019 to 20 October 2021, that's 2 years and three months you throbber, which you're comparing to nearly 3.5 years of Benitez's tenure. Bruce racked up 110m of dogshit signings, nearly 10m per player, spearheaded by the biggest fucking plum to play for us in recent memory, a player who Benitez told the club not to sign, whereas Benitez had a larger total spend (over substantially longer, as well as overseeing a Championship rebuild) but a far, far smaller net spend. A net spend that was actually negative, in fact. I notice you mysteriously didn't mention that when you were trying to quibble over how much money Rafa was given. Bruce had a staggering net spend of 93m during his time here. Rafa? -11m. You've heard the one about lies, damned lies, and statistics, right?

Yes it is. You signed up here in 2016, made your first post tonight, and have gone full energy-vampire. Give me one good, well-argued, backed by statistics reason why I shouldn’t hit the “Flag as a Spammer” button and fuck you off to the crèche, you absolute bore.

Sound on.

An influx of tedious new posters was always a danger as we become a relevant football club again. We need to collectively act and let them know they chose the wrong forum. This shop is closed to dullards.

I hope you mean a much lower level or we'll have to have words

It's utterly shafted the North East. There is nothing for us at all. So we'll have massively over-crowded trains and no extra local services (other than pork barrel shit like the Ashington line) for the rest of our lifetimes and probably our kids too.

Yeah but can you prove it with stats or not? If not your opinion is completely wrong

You've expended more energy in support of Shelvey than he's ever expended on the pitch.

TLDR x2

Especially after Debbie from accounts fucked him off for his boss.

You'd have thought he'd have learned that after trudging through the 80s

Joelinton has made 30% more appearances for Newcastle since he's been here so he must be 30% better than Shelvey.

If you're going to be on Betfair, be a dear and let me know exactly when please. Cheers

So, tried to control myself all week but have today sadly woken up like a small child two days before Christmas. From simply hoping to see a team that at least tries on Saturday, I have now now fell down the rabbit hole of a Keeganesque performance, wrapped in a win that starts a superb run of results. Im even imagining all sorts of scenarios such as proper pressing of the ball, Almiron and Maxi laying on chance after chance for Wilson and Joe to convert like plucking ripe apples off a tree. I feel I am just hours away from placing lots of silly scorecast bets, digging out a Newcastle shirt to wear at the match, only to rip it off when the first goal goes in and dancing in naked abandon for the match of the day cameras. Help!

guillem balague is spanish. bilbao and madrid are in spain. both have teams that play in red and white stripes. very obvious he's a mackem.

Let me think about that for a second, to see f I can work it out 🤔

Wykiki’s slightly over-compensating for his cricket playing county compatriots.

Sorry had to dig this out. Over the last 5-6 years from having an auto-immune I've developed histamine intolerance which is a complete ball ache. I won't go into the full details but when it flares up, one of the symptoms is the left side of my cock gets itchy - which is really fucking weird. So here I am last night, feeling like complete shite (migrane/heart racing/wheezing/insomnia) and this itch that will not go away and of course you end up being like Monkey Fist in his shed without the joy. The body is so strange.

There's always a gif. @Monkeys Fist

Eddie is smiling in that photo, that’s not the look of a trainee accountant.

CT, I've got your next phone background for you.

Sally James ❤️

You could always marry me? £25k cash and no extras included.

Settle your jets, they’ll only let you down

My sister once messaged me. 'Are you watching the rugby?' 'No, I am recording it so no spoilers please' 'ok, but I wouldn't bother it's shite' Yeh, cheers.

I wouldn’t give Simon Jordan the steam off my shite.

@Tom, change the lads name to Ciaomanheyman, it’s doing my head in.

Shelvey has been a liability for ages now, you must be having a laugh. Our best central midfielder? Outperformed the likes of Colback, Saivet, Barlaser, and Bentaleb? What an accomplishment, the latter 3 probably had 500 minutes of pitch time between them and being better than Colback isn't exactly a glowing endorsement. As for mentioning Willock in that list, we'd have gone down last season if not for his performances, it's actually comical to state that Shelvey outperformed him by any metric other than the number of 50-yard passes he put out of play, or the number of Cruciatus curses he laid on people. The squad absolutely has been run down during Bruce's tenure. We splashed a lot of money on a small handful of players upon whom we then over-relied, allowing strength in depth to decline massively. Ritchie is almost ready for a trip to the glue factory as he's been so overused over the past few years. Beyond the first XI we look incredibly threadbare, with players like Hayden, Hendrick, Gayle, Krafth and Manquillo regularly getting games when they should be playing for Championship sides. Carroll had an embarrassing cameo for us and then even more ludicrously was given another year. Murphy had a revival but is contracted until 2027 (!), that should tell you everything you need to know about the way Ashley was simply running out the clock on the last few years. We did better with a worse squad under Benitez, who was given - as you pointed out yourself - far less money to work with. So whistle with your "poor coaching over the last 7 years."

Reminds me of this