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Long time lurker here, circa 12 years or so..... I felt obliged to join this forum just to say: Clarko you're patter is shite mate, as you were gentlemen

Can we change his name to 'Thrush' as he's an irritating cunt, please?

I am also a long time lurker (mainly cos I can't be arsed with all the typing involved with conversations by text), but you've achieved something remarkable Clarko. You've motivated me to put thumb to screen to agree with Kentchris, your patter really is shite!

Well you can all fuck off.....have a photo instead......

I don’t blame those who didn’t fancy it

Fucking gobsmacked is an understatement

i know i'm an old cunt, however.... you'd go to the match, and it would go something like this.... you'd avoid getting your head kicked in by the oppositions supporters. you'd have a few pints, or sometimes a bit more. you'd watch the game, have a sing and a jump about. come out feeling happy or miserable. buy a pink. have some more beer and discuss the match with your mates, who'd had a blinder, who'd been average and who'd had a nightmare. seems these days for some at least this has all been forsaken for video phones, stop watches, measuring tapes, calculators, slide rules and websites full of mathematical equations and mind-numbing statistics. fuck that.

You’re wrong

A bit late this, but funny nonetheless, worth watching.

Join my MySpace page and I’ll explain the internet to you.

ah! i only heard about google last week!

i like the mr logic thing, although i also reckon there's more than a bit of terry fuckwit in there too.

The mental gymnastics he’ll have gone through over the Saudi takeover

Stop it. Just stop it.

As chuffed as I am that you’ve proved yourself to be more tinterweb-savvy than our Boldon Bunter, I have to ask… … what in the gibbering fuck did you put in to Google search to find the above?

Nay idea what yer on aboot.

According to Craig Hope, Howe still has a chance to be in the dugout for Arsenal. Tindall has been confirmed to be taking the pre-match press on Friday, but if Howe can pass a Covid test the same day, then he'll be cleared to take charge. Conveniently Eddie's symptoms appear to have started exactly ten days before the Arsenal game 😂 Or at least that appears to be what Hope is saying. Newcastle boss Eddie Howe will discover on Friday if he can lead the side out at Arsenal | Daily Mail Online

So, I’m sure you lads have been waiting with baited breath for an update on Fist Jnr’s progress twiddling strings. He’s now nailed the Seven Nation Army that he asked his teacher about, but, more importantly (to me, anyway) he’s been discovering guitar bands of his own accord. I had a chat with him the other day and he showed me bands he’s found that he likes - Hendrix, Nirvana, Stevie Ray ( via Hendrix), The Stooges, and Nick Cave. He’s 11. I nearly wept with pride

Data’s fucking shite. It might also be a hefty component of my job

Wrong again

Aye, that’s the long and short of it. The prevalence of stats in crack between fans has only come about so kids who can’t kick a ball can pretend to know what they’re on about.

Knowing where to look up stats doesn’t mean you know fuck all about football

Where exactly can one go these days to just talk about their beloved club?

Sir Frank McAvennie has a response to that.

How dare the thread about our one exciting footballer descend into mind-numbing tedium

THINGS SHORTER THAN A CLARKO PUT DOWN POST.... I'll start... The rise and fall of the roman empire by Edward Gibbon Homer's The Iliad any more?...

You're having trouble with the old comprehension thing again Even to the most casual observer ASM often flatters to deceive. That's it, that's all anyone as far as I can make out is saying about him apart from you. You're in a minority of one.... not that I'm suggesting you're wrong on this obviously.... we've worked out that you're very sensitive to that sort of thing so I don't think any of us would dare to suggest or even insinuate that... no... EDIT: apart from Alex....

Shes the female Dominic Raab. Thicker than a whale's foreskin

Oh I'm not going anywhere, I'm just a lazy twat, who can't be arsed typing 😂 I'm already feeling the strain tbh! As far as Clarko goes, what about the possibility that he's both a WUM and has got mental issues? Let's not rule anything out just yet.

Oh, fuck. He's here too

Fisted your post.

I know, me too. Can you believe he’s using that minging dark mode? He’ll confess to being a stand-up wiper next.

Feel free to quote my argument and tell me where and how I'm wrong. Otherwise we'll just assume I know football.

A short list about all players have been linked by the media with us since the takeover. Sit down and take popcorns. Vlahovic, Ter Stegen, Lacazette, Lingard, Harry Winks, Seko Fofana, Sadiq, Insine, Abdon Diallo, Nathan Ake, Rabiot, Caleta-Car, Strakohsa, Ramsey, Brozovic, De Vrij, Gareth Bale, Trippier, Phil Jones, Sule, Hazard, Isco, Kroos, Ismaila Sarr, Wirtz, Conor Coady, Ousmane Dembele, Jovic, Luis Díaz, Ozil, Carlvert-Lewin, Barkley, Icardi, Kostic, Rice, Sterling, Tomori, Wesley Fofana, Chiesa, De Ligt, Coutinho, Koulibaly, Eric Bailly, Van de Beek, Martial, Kelyor Navas, Tarkowski, Dean Henderson, Guendouzi, Dele Alli, Bellingham, Timo Werner, Lenglet, Demba Ba (I am not kidding), Witsel, Zakaria, Nicolas Pepe, Mings, Swift, James Rodriguez, McKennie, Larin, Jonathan David, Origi.

Ere, you’re right mate well done. Fuck off

Do you think Shelvey was better under Rafa or under Bruce? Why didn't ASM make the France Euro squad? Honestly, I'm interested in your thoughts but please bare in mind brevity is king

There’s 15 seconds of my life I’m not getting back, and 6 hours of CT’s gone.