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Some comeback after last weekend

Just a great time to be alive no matter how you look at it

CT padding his stats by liking his own posts.

I still maintain that he needs his own thread and only he is allowed to post/howl at the moon in it. I’d definitely read it.

Bruno is pure sex, like. That through ball to Jigsaw Murphy was sublime but not as sublime as his finish. I was actually laughing as he approached Krul as you just knew he wasn't going to fuck it up, the complete opposite feeling to when Murphy is one on one. Right, two things are obvious by now, one, VAR are fucking DYING to find something against us, that was fucking ridiculous, about five passes before the goal, it's onside and they're still having a good fucking look, you just don't see that in other games to the same extent. Two, If you want ASM to pass on tap simply inform the supporters to olé every pass. Right, I'm off to crack on with Gemma on the DAZN party line........

Did I fuck. All or nothing!

This is just a bot posting text from a template now, isn't it?

I hear he pays good money for that kind of thing

Fucking accountants

This West Ham fan posts within about 10 minutes everytime we upload one of these. Definitely sits drumming his fingers on the table refreshing his feed after we win. Enjoy pretending you’re a European side for a season or two longer there, we’ll just push you and that grim reaper manager of yours to one side as we pass.

All outcomes are welcome for them this season. Fail to make the playoffs. HILARIOUS. Make the playoffs and fail to get promoted. I LOVE THIS. Make the playoffs get promoted and immediately get shat back out into League One. THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND.

Mint.

Mariupol is nice this time of year

Look at this beautiful man ❤️💦 LOOK AT HIM!

I see fouls don’t count on our players now because Norwich are shit and are feeling sad

couldn't get on here till nearly 3, however had I been able to I would've congratulated eddie on a cracking starting line up.

If he can get Joelinton scoring a hattrick today, Howe should be given Manager of the Season on the spot

You heard it here first

KCG's tale reminds me of a joke about a former soldier going for a job interview with Newcastle City council. The manager tells him that he's going to be offered the job as they like to support ex-armed servicemen. He asks if he has any medical conditions they should know about? The former squaddie says he lost his testicles in the Falklands and also has a caffeine allergy. The manager replies, "Ok, that shouldn't be a massive problem for you here. We start at nine and finish at five but you can start at eleven instead." The squaddie asks why? The manager says, "Well here at the council we just sit around drinking coffee and scratching our balls for the first couple of hours so pointless you coming in to be honest."

If I didn't know better, I'd say this thread has the distinct aroma of fromage smothered pomme frites.

Who the fuck doesn’t think we’re superior to them like? It’s not even up for debate

That’s him on essembee’s “safe” list

Beyond Sausage now. We’ve broken through lads. This is it.

The angry, totally not bothered, fans of other clubs up and down the country will be refreshing the Newcastle twitter account eagerly waiting to comment on the team photo. I wonder what original replies there will be? Maybe “it’s only Norwich not the CL”, “sportswashing at its finest”, “shows what money can do” will be among them.

As if this day couldn't get any better, HUGE news for TT's bedwetters.

Bet Bruno has the perfect combo of length and girth

That's the sort of finish you only see from lads with enormous penises.

While you’re there get the hoover.

HMHM wants to know if anyone fancies a DAZN watch party for the second half??

I'm not on Zoom to CT sorry

Not having Ciaran Clark on the pitch this time greatly improves our chances

The Chelsea coach Emma Hayes agrees, the goals should be smaller….so should their shorts, and so should their tops…sorry, just came over all Sepp Blatter there for a second…

Heard about a bloke with one leg a little bit shorter than his other leg from someone who worked with them. His head would bobble slightly from one side to the other as he walked. His nickname was 'Sniper's Nightmare'.

Makes a pleasant change to have a discussion based on who has been the best of a good number of players as opposed to who was the best of a bad bunch.

I'm always good for a bit of professional advice if anyone needs to drop me a PM. Never a truer word spoken. That's why it's important to enjoy the good times when you can. Even if you struggle to see them sometimes.

The 4 hour Beano crossover will redefine cinema

Personally I can’t wait for the Whizzer and Chips Multiverse series that Warner Bros are making.