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Dear Bilbao, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance I ain't mad - I just think it's fucked up you don't answer massive lads fans If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your staydeyam You didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Callum That's my little brother man, he's only six years old We waited in the blistering cold for you For four hours and you just said, "No" That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fucking idol He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to Remember when we met in Bilbao - you said if I'd write you You would write back - see I'm just like you in a way I never knew my father neither He used to always cheat on my mam and beat her I can't relate to what you're saying in your tweets about the Mags So when I have a shitty day, I drift away and read 'em 'Cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me See everything you say is real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it My girlfriend's jealous 'cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you Marra, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us growing up You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose Sincerely yours, Marra Stan. P.S. We should be together, too. FTM. [Dido:] My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all And even if I could it'd all be gray, but your picture on my wall It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad Dear Mister I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Massive-Lads-Fans, This'll be the last package I ever send your ass It's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two letters; I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway Hey Bilbao marra, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive? You know the song by Phil Collins "In the Air Tonight" About that guy who could've saved that other guy from drowning But didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him? That's kinda how this is, you could've rescued me from drowning Now it's too late. I'm on a thousand downers now, I'm drowsy And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call I hope you know I ripped all of your pictures off the wall I loved you, Bilbao marra, we could've been together, think about it You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me See, marra,—shut up bitch! I'm trying to talk! Hey, marra, that's my girlfriend screaming in the trunk, But I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up. See, I ain't like you 'Cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die, too Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the Wear bridge now Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out? FTM. [*car tires squeal, crash, loud splash*]

This game reminds me of when I’d be travelling back from Aberdeen after three weeks away, getting titty pics off Mrs. F. In the door, up the stairs, 10 minutes later… Spent…

“ Congratulate our agent in Bilbao please, that tweet has registered on the Richter scale in Pennywell” ” Erm, we don’t have an agent in Bilbao” ” Lolz! Laters”

That Athletic article BTW. About how Saudi money is ruining Spurs's dreams. Yeah, well it was Jacob Murphy and Joelinton that had you 3 nil down in 8 minutes, with two assists from Fabian Schar, so stick that up your kazoo Mr Jack Pitt-Brooke.

Every rose has its fawn.

Willock has been fucking sensational today btw.

one day you will get your club back and it will be everything you wanted it to be

Redknapp: "Pass of the season. De Bruyne, Odegaard... No one has made a better pass than that from Joe Willock". I don't care for Sky hyperbole usually, but when it's about us they can say whatever the fuck they like.

There's an obvious omission from this list of Bilbao's links to English clubs!

Today:

Putting Manquillo on is an absolute piss take by Howe Class. He may as well have turned around to the crowd and asked if anyone fancies coming on. What a fucking amazing game this has been, exactly what we needed after last weeks performance.

It's amazing how many teams play poorly against us. You'd think there must be an obvious reason???

Murphy's turn around has been nothing sort of sensational. And his goal celebration was magic. Imagine him shithousing in the Nou Camp or San Siro next season ? 😀

Well, I'm on a downer now like, was just thinking how well Howe has done, how he's done miracles with the like of Joelinton etc. How wrong I was. Gutted now.

Willock when he signed for us we were under a cunt on the downwards spiral. I bet he's counting his blessings now. He's been great this season and so glad we signed him.

They should get Isak on the podcast, give Wilson a week off. See how that goes down.

Shame Maxi is injured. 45 minutes of this would have been the perfect sign off.

CT was spot on with this one mind.

Murphy’s face after his absolute Fanny ripper of a third has pretty much been my exact face all season. Complete disbelief at what I’m seeing from a Newcastle United side. What I fucking love about this lot, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it from us, is, when we smell blood, that’s it. We go for the jugular and don’t stop. Some days we do it and only get a couple of goals like Man U. Other days, it’s like this and chaps, as the better players come in, these days are going to be more and more commonplace. Fucking strap in

Daft hat. In his bedroom. Shit team.

Cunts

Forster on, and Sherwood and Given joking that he'll be playing in goal along with Lloris

That Willock pass was incredible.

Any of you lads on Twitter, fill your boots at 3pm.

What the actual fuck? I just put the telly on at 32 minutes in. 😂

We have to close the first set soon.🎾

Nevermind

Well you've all waited very patiently, which is appreciated, but I'm here to put you all out of your misery..... Expected points: Newcastle United: 2.84 Spurs: 0.11

The fucking collective Manchester United and Spurs fan meltdown on twitter tonight is sensational. Theyre all starting to wake up to the fact they can’t just sleepwalk into the top 4 any more. The delusion and arrogance of Spurs fans too now acting like they want to keep losing so they don’t have to play in the conference league, errrm lads that’s likely the best European competition you will get for a while…. Speaking of arrogant, I saw one arsenal fan mention he enjoyed today but it makes him worry for their game against us - of course all the replies are basically they’re not spurs and will steamroll us, aye lads just like last season? Really hope we hammer the nail in the coffin of their title hopes after city hammer them.

Has Danny Rose had a traumatic brain injury?

Streamline hairdo init

Imagine the financial trouble Everton would be in without that sale. He'll be their player of the season.

Matt Targett

Tim Sherwood: "first of all the positives are that it's not 7 or 8" Shay: "I shouldn't be laughing, but I am"

Isak's reaction when it goes in. I fucking love this kid. Wilson will be sat on the bench with a face like a demolished arse.