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Few years ago I was on a train and there's was a group sat a few seat behind me drinking and being loud and obnoxious as fuck. I did the same, headphones in to drown the cunts out. When I stood up to get off the train and realised they were a group of my mates and we were all going to the same gig.

He's a likeable circus act. No issue with him but I'm glad he's gone cos a serious football team has no place for that. One day he'll be contacted by Steve Wraith for a cult talk-in at the Corner House or something to fund the replacement of ex-council house windows whilst we're shafting Real Madrid, and I'm still denying the need for reading glasses. Can't fucking wait.

Apart from the whole incident being created from his error he just stands there for about two seconds too.

Fuck off

“ Hey Steve, Fancy managing a club in the Saudi League…” “ We’ll pay you £8 million a year and we won’t ask for any tactics…” “ Oh aye, no one here really cares, it’s purely a vanity project. You’ll have plenty of time to write new thrillers.” “ The club’s called Al- Shabob and it…”

He's not a bad keeper, but Darlow is noticeably worse than Dubravka. And Dubravka is noticeably worse than Pope.

Very special experience, I screamed myself hoarse at the end. It was a little disheartening to see us a) playing crap in the first half and b) missing so many first-teamers, but things improved a lot once Brighton took off much of their much-stronger starting XI and our kids grew into the game. Barnes looked quite good though he should've scored in the first half. I don't know if we were under explicit instructions to play out the back, but the regularity with which we screwed it up in the first half was alarming (understandable maybe considering Dummett and Lascelles were playing.) Murphy barely touched the ball in the first half, I wouldn't have known he was playing if I hadn't seen his name on the lineup, but he definitely made an impression in the second. The atmosphere was a little flat considering how non-partisan the crowd was, though our lads in the designated NUFC sections made noise all game long. Some of the biggest cheers were for Caicedo and Estupinan, who were supported by hordes of Ecuadorian fans in yellow, almost as if there were a third team playing. The worst part was having to listen to a typical yankee doodle dumbass sat next to me, purportedly an Arsenal fan, who knew everything and nothing about football. The stadium also played the Blaydon Races at the end as we were filtering out, which was a nice touch.

Had a mega weekend in London. Getting the train back was painful. Customer service was absolutely shocking on the train. Then some young lad was facetiming his lass loud as fuck. I put my earphones in after 30 minutes of leaving kings cross and so did our lass. Then This huge bastard got up and told him to stop being a selfish bastard and put his earphones in as he didn't want to hear his bird whine on about what a shit day she's had clearning out her knicker draw

We'll chuck you a banana when we require your input, numbnuts.

It'd be a bit harder to source bacon though.

You render fat don’t you? Might come back slimmer

I’d be more worried if there were 2/3 clubs out there with the financial muscle for the 100 mill fee and about half that in wages + the requirement for a top class central midfielder…. Real Madrid have just signed Bellingham and Guler, Barca Gundogan and Gonzalez. So that leaves our new friends in Saudi Arabia, you’d imagine that would be highly unlikely this summer….his agent has told him to go public to force the issue. I’d be very surprised if playing for NUFC regardless of what happens in the next three seasons is the extent of Bruno’s ambitions though…

When the club is posting this as his highlight then maybe he wasn’t all that good.

He’s now waiting on Gerrard to return the favour out in Saudi.

Surely the clubs moaning about us dealing with the. Pic will now moan we've been underpaid?

A bloke who posts any old shit purely to get followers and about 90% of his followers only do so to take the piss. The futility of modern life

I think this is a good summary. I didn't understand why we went for Dubravka when we did as Darlow was doing a good job. The outcome was a clear improvement. Then the same happened with Pope, a massive improvement.

Agree to disagree with both of you. He’s very poor, but what do I know about goalkeeping.

Cheeky bastard.…

Would have won 3, possibly 4-0 had they not played to the hype.

You forgot this one..... Please, no need for thanks at this difficult time.

Worst NUFC-related news in years. That LTA is staying, I mean.

Absolutely wish him well. That departure statement seemed really sincere and in my eyes he's a true friend of the club and was a bright spark in the dark times. Good luck ASM.

Similar to what I was saying earlier, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being sentimental as a fan. If you’re not you’re probably not much of a football fan. Good managers are ruthless though. I do think there’s other factors like FFP, for example. And I think it’s probably the case we got less than we might have just to avoid further scrutiny/hassle. But it’s also a position where we are well stocked and ASM is probably the least ‘Howe type of player’ we had in terms of wingers.

Agreed. We can disagree about his value on the pitch but the consensus seems to be he was a good lad off it. He was good value on social media foo, interacting with fans, taking the piss out of mackems etc. I’m sorry he’s leaving. I would have liked to see what he would have offered in the champions league

I reckon Bruce would be off to Saudi if he was offered a sweet gig. Imagine the Al-Kebabi fans excitement as their new coach hoves into view in a generously proportioned tracksuit - sweating heavily, purple faced and with a knotted white hankie on his head

Liveramento leaving?

Well, yeah. It’s a massive missed opportunity. But not really down to poor fortune. It’s down to poor batting and missed opportunities in the field giving the team a massive mountain to climb. I don’t see that as bad luck in terms of going 2-0 down. I think it’s a very odd series as the England team have looked so dominant after those first two tests. And Australia have played in a very defensive manner. Which I don’t think has benefited them tbh. Sums it up nicely. I think England have learned as the series goes on. If you have a read back through the thread I think that’s what most people wanted. Reining in the more extravagant shots when the situation demanded it. I still think selecting Bairstow cost England the series too

@Monkeys Fist For once I'm not taking the piss 😂

Yeah I think it’s a combination of him still playing so well and what’s coming up. India away then Sri Lanka and the Windies at home I think. He would’ve struggled in India probably. Then those aren’t exactly huge series next summer. Hope England can manage to win tomorrow as they deserve to draw the series I reckon and it would be a nice ending for him. I’m a little bit surprised Anderson is going to keep going (if indeed he does)

It'sh, how you shay, the porno, yesh?

going out while still on top with Jimmy seemingly continuing i was lucky enough to see him take 5 for against the Aussies to help us regain the ashes at the oval in 2009. One of those unbelievable spells he reproduced again and again on tne big occasion. A true great of the game

Broad retiring after this match is perfect timing I reckon.

I can’t but it’s bound to be a bit cheesy

Good to see bazball evolving into bazball with brains as the series has gone on. We’ve gone along at 5 an over today batting aggressively but sensibly and without gifting wickets away

Definitely tongue in cheek, his tongue in ASMs arse cheek

I’m not sure if your post is tongue in cheek LTA.

It's ignorance on their part of course but at the same time it would have been extremely difficult for fans to get to the away ties (before the scousers really pioneered the concept along with their obligatory looting). I know you were talking in general but it was the travel that made it special for me.

Off to interlaken, Lauterbrunnen and Grindlewald in the Swiss alps. Looks alreet like We’re then getting a train to Lake Lugano and finally Lake Como

I am still angry that he didn’t include the penicopter in his farewell video though.

I was just trying to get a rise tbh. I wish him well, I agree with Isegrims posts from earlier.

A player with outstanding qualities. He was too good for us on our worst days, but maybe he was missing something to fit in now that we have better days. Damn injuries didn't help him adapt too much in this year and a half. Anyway, all this doesn't matter to me. A special boy is leaving. And I'm not going to talk about football now. Maybe I do it because I'm a tribune/popular with the fans, but I insist, I don't care. From the first day he seemed in love with the city, with the community, with the club. He seemed involved with growing this team that was dead under Ashley's clutches. He never had a bad gesture, he always seemed kind to the fans, affectionate and careful with all the details of the club. A boy who seemed nice and was key to the good group in the squad. And his farewell message couldn't be better. At least I'm going to miss him a lot.

@asaintmaximin "4 years ago, I wore the Newcastle jersey for the first time. At that moment, I hadn’t realized that not only was I about to become a Newcastle player, but I was also about to become a Geordie. You might think « nice Goodbye message » but the sentiment runs deeper than any words I could say, from the very first months that I met the people of this city, I truly understood them and embraced their unwavering passion, which is why it was so important for me to give my all and if this meant to play injured or even not making statistics, I didn’t give a shiy as long as it would help my team. Believe me, I fell for Newcastle, I had great opportunities to leave during dark days, but that was too late I was already in love, I wanted, I needed, I had to stay for helping my team to save the club from Premier League relegation because it meant the world for me. Of course during those dark days some may have had their doubts, but I always believed in this club and look where we are today, it's just so beautiful. I'm leaving Newcastle as it should always have been and that's my greatest trophy because I was a part of it. A deep thank you to ALL of you, my team mates, the loyal fans, the staff, the Club, etc… I’ve seen all your messages, thank you and even though this chapter has ended, the story never stops. Newcastle is home now, I'll continue to be your biggest supporter, I'll watch every game and as long as the club keeps winning I'll be the happiest man in the world… and for sure you will see me again I love you, I love you sincerely, I love you like a Geordie brother. Once a Geordie, always a Geordie."

Mackem van Bastard

@The Fish You’ve given your latest burner account a fuckin stupid name this time mind Dave

I don't have any desire for "reserve days", but I would say the arbitrary cut off at 1800 if all the overs haven't been bowled and the light is OK is bollocks. Should play until overs are done, or light is shit, with a later cut off of something like 2000