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Gemmill desperately trying and failing to impress his ex-wife's new girlfriend. Very on brand.

Next DOWNSIZE coming up.

I'm surprised klopp hasn't banged his head on that ceiling of his yet.

Less of a miss than he would have been last season, which is a sign that we're turning into a proper football club.

blows out the water the expression straight from the horses mouth as being dependable.

So dodge them. They'll all be old fucks who still use dot matrix printers and expect you to fax stuff through

Life imitating art! He's clearly seen Craig "The Straight Dope" Hope marching about the streets of Newcastle-upon-Tyne with his crystal clear expression and flowing conversation and thought, "nee bovva am gannin' in'a toon!" Cunt can barely breath! We need a diary update for Knight Ryder's exercise regime.

There must've been some kind of mistake in the first programme because, this is going to be hard to comprehend but...... Amazon, amazingly, somehow, forgot to mention the massive lads of Sunderland in the first few sentences of the first episode. Gipetto devastated by the Sunderland omission as he watched it but pretended he hadn't. Heads will roll in Riyadh tonight. (Little one for the MLFs there seeing they could do with some cheering up).

His teeth got there first and he's chewed his way through it.

"Straight from the horse's ass" works.

"Tunnelli"

Will Klopp shut the fuck up and stop whinging, will he fuck.

@Christmas Tree - what does the PA stand for?

Nice to know exile is alive and well,.

Especially when Reuben and Tindall joined in. Amanda was air-tight.

Legionella on the Bibby Stockholm so everyone's been shifted off it. This fucking government are banana republic standard.

Subtitled for anyone who doesn't speak spaz?

New PB on this one. 4 years, 1 month, 13 days and counting.

Next 3 weeks / duration of the wedding?

A reasonable person. YOU NEED NOT APPLY.

You like looking up little boy's anuses. Received and understood.

budget

What a fucking prick that bloke is. The summer has been a nice break from my football hatreds, but I'm refreshed and ready to start calling that bizarrely-toothed cockend worse than shite every week.

Absolutely. Jeff Hendrick will be minted. Probably Henri Saivet as well through some clerical error.

Aye I've told my wife this is her Friday nights for the foreseeable. One hour episode, two hour debrief.

Presumably this is a QR code for Dominoes?

Totally appreciate this is sarcasm, but I have huge doubts Gemmill would've moved anything. He likely just has a new address and somebody else did all the heavy lifting.

Lee Ryder making about 4 different facial expressions while he knew the camera was on him was my highlight. Those casting agents will be ringing noon and night

ASM has a brace also and to many bandages to count. Basically a surplus of medical equipment.

Fucking Magedia again.......

I found the Staveley/Ghodoussi sex scenes a bit gratuitous tbh.

Watched it and still think I'd rather they didn't bother, canny enough but I think these things you're setting yourself up for a fall. Obviously it's going to get better when the run in starts. One bit of kudos for the producers is the Newcastle fans shown were non of the usual fame hungry cunts which makes me feel glad knowing the usual suspects will be telling everyone how much they're loving watching the show but knowing inside they'll be gutted they weren't asked to be on it.

Do you understand this?

Listen fuckface, I don't understand your Simpsons references because I don't watch cartoons.

That's Kenilworth Road.

I moved some of the plant pots from the garden. And when the smoking lass that was moving in turned up early and wanted to put something in the house, I carried that SHIRTLESS from the car for her.

I hope the driver had his hood up… “Sthtop the taxthi! “ Fucking soaked.

According to Talksport Kane was on his way to the airport and Levy called him and told him to stop as he wants to change the deal.

I reckon he'll go, and Spurs will buy him back in 2 seasons ala Robbie "dumbshit forward roll finger guns wanker" Keane

"Look, I can only reiterate, the players bonus deal I've got for you, honestly it's so gold plated, ifvoo qualify for ver chaahmpions league you'll be so minted you'll be taking away my kids inheritance it'szaat good, on my kids lives I swear to god!"

Lost some weight the lad

Ah, you old flirt.