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Is it just me or has anyone noticed that Bruno's been a bit off it lately?

This feels like a HUGE misstep.

The baby stuff though. I just think he's massively enamoured with the club and the area, which is lovely, and he's obviously obsessed with his kid as well. I can forgive him it. If I find out he's been breast feeding him at half time, I'll have to have a rethink though. Joelinton needs those calories atm.

This goes back to what we were talking about during the window. We've bought Hall and Livramento because these were targets we had identified and deals came up for them. So we moved before anyone else did, and rather than delaying and seeing their value go up or someone else get them. We haven't bought a CB because, of the targets we identified, a deal wasn't doable during the window, so we moved on the players that we could. It's obviously not as simple as "you went for a loaf of bread, why have you come back with a pint of milk". We're gonna get there, but not in one window, and in the meantime we'll lack balance in the squad. We overcame that last season by massively exceeding expectations that anyone had for the squad. I would love for us to make CL again this season, but I think we probably just need to see top 7 as the goal rather than thinking 4th is now the baseline on which we should improve.

That couldn't happen at NUFC because there'd be an hour's debate about who should have the microphone followed by a fortnight of bitching on twitter. Or certain people would bring their own mics in so you'd have the likes of Tory boy, Pearson, Wraith and the rest of them facing off at the same time against each other like a latter day run DMC.

"Theyre not ambitious enough, cant even compete on FFP" "the only club who spent more than them this season is the one everyone is baffled by" "yeah well...we should be allowed to do that but no one else should"

Realise there is a whole international break before the match but I can't be having you lot pissing your pants over who is going to start the fucking match thread. A win to us after Eddie and Mad Dog get the two week break to iron out the kinks, not not those ones Fist, and a return to sausage for the lot of you. BTW https://www.instagram.com/reel/CwiVHbeo__E/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== edit: anyone know how to embed instagram videos?

Most of us go to work to escape our children. Bruno man, get some fucking boundaries.

I approve, we need something to change and if Eddie Howe is not prepared to do it, we here at toontastic will just have to step the fuck up.

You'd think he'd played the full 90 carrying his kid in a papoose.

I suspect Sancho himself is a bell but it's great to watch them publicly having this to and fro. Ultimately it's the fault of ten Hag. The bloke's a cunt and the longer he's in charge there the better for us.

'C'moaaan ya wee little hoose on the prairie! Faahkin bulbs bin sitting fae twa weeks waiting to be changed! Jesus, how much faahkin poppy is this wee cunt getting? Am away tae see if ah kin git a pey rise if this is the faahkin standard wuv goat roond here these days!' 'Ah'll no fergit this shit in a hurry and when am tearing it up on some futuristic world wide web message board ah'll bring this up, Florrie, you better believe it!'

For baccy?

Love the title.

I wish I could grow a topknot these days but even if I could, it would be more right and less embarrassing than your Everton predictions will ever be,

Is there anyway to get tickets if you have no ST? Are we into dick sucking territory now?

Is your NFC on?

imagine.... six pointers with everton again. the fucking horror.

hopefully we'll improve enough to avoid relegation.

I disagree. I think he can play as the lead striker but if you want to start Wilson, he could play just behind him as a number 10, but that requires changing the system to 4-2-3-1 and I think Howe is unlikely to chance from his 4–3-3 that has been so successful. He won’t even tweak the system during a match when we’re chasing the game. However it could solve the conundrum of how to play Bruno and Tonali together, if they’re both instructed to sit deeper as two number sixes in a double pivot. Dear lord, did I just type that? I think I need to take a break from all the football podcasts

https://twitter.com/fun88eng/status/1698441122043805746?s=46&t=7EP1snWKh3ho3iDGAoo5gw Do not give PL a megaphone or Bruno will feel like being back in France…

As long as the cunt's not Michael Owen dull, he'll be alright!

the board when newbies roll into town

Here you go,

I'm your Nellie Oleson.

He's playing averagely at the minute, which for him is below what we'd hope to see. But the whole team are misfiring at the minute, event he ebst performers (Tonali and Gordon) are only really looking good by comparison. I think it's a combination of key players being out of form for whatever reason (Pope, Bruno, Joelinton, etc.), the genuine quality of the opposition we've faced and the styles played by that opposition. e.g. Man City played a more defensive iteration of their system, with Guardiola shifting players into midfield to choke the influence of Joe, Sandro and Bruno. Liverpool were struggling with 11 men, but when they dropped to 10 they sat in deep, with excellent footballers. We struggle to get past a low block when the players are poor, it's nigh on impossible when they're good. Brighton was poor, to be fair, but they also focussed their play down the flanks and turned the centre into a negative space. For what it's worth, Bruno had the 2nd best pass completion % of our team (92%), the majority of them were forward, made 3/4 tackles. Yer boy Gilmour was 6th best at passing (88%) for Brighton, about half were backwards, made 0/4 tackles. The problem was our defence was wasteful in possession and made errors in positional and passing choices. Our forward line was starved of opportunities either through a stifling of our midfield, or poor positioning. We had a flurry of half chances just after we made substitutions, but in reality the only 'good' chance we had, was put away by Wilson We only had 9 shots, and only 2 on target. It's been said elsewhere, but we're essentially playing with three 8's and none of them seem to know when to go and when to cover. Tonali is avoiding any criticism because he's shiny and new, Joelinton is avoiding criticism because of his redemption arc and lower expectations, and so it's Bruno that's getting the stick when, realistically, he's not playing badly he's just not playing as well as he has done before. But that happens, I mean Trippier hasn't been anything like the presence that he was when he first joined and he hasn't for a while. But he's doing the basics right and he's a top professional so he gets a pass. I don't think there's any one player we should single out for criticism, I think there are issues with form for a few, and there's an issue with the system.

This has to be the first time Little House on the Prairie has ever been involved anywhere as a footballing metaphor

🤔

Does your boss let you take your bairn on to the wards then?

You simply cannot be letting a Matilda start a match thread of this significance.

🙂

If someone gets me a ticket I'll let them off having to suck my dick tbh, can't say fairer than that.

Are guys still breathing a huge sigh of relief at the 40 point mark? took me years!

If this continues, I will knock your topknot clean off. Like a hipster slaying William Tell.

Don't worry about them, they're down.

What about how shit he was for the last part of last season? The over the top goal celebration v Brighton sums him up. He’d done fuck all for weeks beforehand . I can see he’s a great player. Billy Gilmour played him off the park though. And he’s more interested in his child. It’s not a balance thing primarily, it’s him being distracted . He needs to concentrate on his game. He’s getting it in the neck from me because he’s very likely the best player in the squad. I don’t criticise Miggy because he’s plainly at the very peak of his fairly limited powers. One player is making the absolute best of himself and the other is looking at fuckin Mothercare catalogues . Miggy is a new father too. Not sure why people can’t see the difference 🤷🏻‍♂️

He says they cant compete with FFP. Then he says they're only beaten by Chelsea o transfer spend and he then says they generate 500m. So what is it Gary? Make your mind up.

Sky sports is the Man U and Liverpool show. You put Neville and Carragher on every week and you get a Liverpool and Man United centric narrative. They could solve this if they wanted to?

Burn definitely isn’t the long term answer - either at left back or centre half - but I’m going to stick up for him a bit. He was horrible against Brighton and I’d rather have seen Hall or Lascelles too. But he was an important part of how we played last season. Solid defensively in the main. He kept plenty of highly-rated wingers quiet last season, despite his obvious limitations, including Saka. There was only really Foden away at Man City who made him look like a lumbering 6ft6 centre back playing out of position. He also gave us extra protection, allowing us to move to three at a back while in possession when Tripper bombs up the field playing almost like a right winger at times. You can see from average touch position stats that we played more like an inverted 3-4-3 than a 4-3-3, with Trippier playing in more like an additional midfielder and Burn as a left sided centre half at times. When Hall comes in, we will need to make some tweaks to the system because, from what I’ve seen, he likes to bomb on too, which means the two centre backs will have more work to do. Though it will hopefully be a positive long term tactical change for the reasons you mentioned. We became predictable last season, as so much of our play came through Tripper, Bruno and Almiron down our right. I’m happy with Burn as a squad player at CB or LB against the poorer PL teams but playing him CB against a team as good as Brighton was a mistake.

Apparently we've beaten all the big lads to the signing of this 16 year old kid from Birmingham. Trevan Sanusi. The appliance of science.

This is a good point iyam. just staggering levels of delusion

6 & 9?

Good afternoon all, I'm back and not here to gloat. A great win for us (I had it down for a draw or a Howe-inspired Smash 'n Grab but was very pleased with the way we went about our business after a shaky early start when Dunk had a brain fog a couple of times. What surprised me the most was how little pressure we got put under and - please accept this in the spirit it is meant - the seeming lack of desire from most of your players. We battered West Ham last week and lost but in truth there was not even the threat of a real counter from Newcastle to concern us once our defence got it's act in gear. If Pedro had managed to drag the ball out from under his feet it could have been 4 or 5. Howe has to address that, the signs were there against Liverpool. As you may be aware I'm a firm admirer of all things NUFC, your supporters are usually the best we get at the Amex, and by a comfortable margin. But your team gave you nothing to hold onto. Fair play to getting a party atmosphere going at the end - I'm only just a few seats across in the corner. But through all that I wish you all the best for the coming season especially in Europe. See you in May at SJP, as usual I can't wait

Bruno’s mind is elsewhere, probably on social media. Why else would you take your child on to the pitch v one of the best sides in the league? Tbf, that’s on Howe for allowing it. Can anyone give me an positive argument for how looking after an infant prepares a footballer for one of the biggest games of the season? Did you see Roy Keane or Patrick Viera do it? Does anyone want to guess at how Fergie or Wenger would’ve answered the request?… I voiced concerns about him last season and am not suggesting am 100% correct but at the moment he is completely over hyped . His contribution for the last third of last season was negligible (post suspension) and he’s continued in that vein this season. Yes Tonali changes the balance, yes we’re missing Willock and it now appears Joelinton has an injury. But when your Brazilian international midfield lynchpin is given a lesson in how to play that role to perfection by BILLY FUCKIN GILMOUR then you know you’re in trouble. It’s weird, sometimes it appeared that we couldn’t beat anyone without him but currently he’s nowhere near good enough to put it up to the best PL midfielders. The badge kissing self regarding fuckin wanksock needs to get his head out of twitter (wtf was he doing reading his own press? Guilty conscience per chance?) and needs to start thinking about football. And Howe needs to stop indulging him There. Am pleased I’ve got that off my chest (This is probably stated a bit too strongly but it is difficult to argue iyam. Did I mention I fuckin hate badge kissers? 😆)

Without even speculating about what Starmer’s longer term plans are, all he arsed about is winning. He could be much braver because barring some unbelievable series of events, he’s already won. But he’s going for the ultra safe approach. He can get to fuck like.

I see you’re an afficianado

I thought at the end of last season he was a bit unsure of his ankle and was bullshitting his way through. I fully expected there to be something about minor surgery in the close season (just like Pope) so when there wasn't I thought either it wasn't a problem after all or maybe it was an excuse for dwindling form. I'm beginning to lean towards the excuse side of things given his start and it's wearing thin - he needs a kick up the arse imo.