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"..... And furthermore, not only will a cup run incur additional costs for hosting games but travel expenses could be prohibitive. This plus the almost certainty of relegation should you have a cup run means I'd warn against putting anything other than a third string out...... What?....... You're sacking me? But this advice I'm giving you was literally beat into me by my leader, Mike, profit be upon him."

I didn't even know they played music Fish.

"We asked one hundred MPs to name an African country beginning with 'K'. You said 'Kigali'. Our survey said....."

If it had been Diane Abbott...

View it as an opportunity. Me, you and Gemmill can go for a cheap pint* during the week on our giro day, not a care in the world. We could sit in a bay window on a dinner time flicking the V's at the passers by. *Non alcoholic versions available. Ask behind the bar about Pina coladas for Gemma.

People will write 1000 word articles when this will suffice

Sensational

Well that was a nice consolation prize for him.

Lee, when we said we needed to strengthen our defence, we did not mean you could spend £10,000 on a blanket fort for your office. Goodbye

Stupid bint is doubling down on her stupidity. It's absolutely a normal turn of phrase to refer to governments in the city or place or residence they're based. "Westminster", "Stormont", "Holyrood", "Brussels", "Riyadh", "Tehran" Etc. These tory cunts can never, ever just admit they are wrong and laugh at themselves. Lots of replies ontwitterfuckx but this is my favourite.

'Never happened! Fucking Mag you must be, wa windmilled the lot of them! Al fucking do ya with a oner, makkin mag shit up like that!'

Tom's got his own gif now? Well done Tom.

Be careful out there.

So why isn't this blunder also on the news? I only know about it because of here. I know Kigali is the capital of Rwanda, pretty basic common knowledge, especially after the last few years. The fact that Therese Coffey doesn't even know what the capital of Rwanda is proves she is unfit to vote. I didn't see the Jess Phillips speech on the news either. Okay, Victoria Derbyshire made the same point on some BBC outlet earlier, but she made it in a soft way which has been largely unreported. Apart from all the morallity and cost issues, we're in a situation now where the government are trying to subvert the judiciary to their own political ends. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind this is the beginning of totalitarianism and potentially fascism. I can only hope that when the GE finally comes, we can all vote tactically, including skeptics of the Labour party like Rayvin, to annihilate this pig ignorant, corrupt and dangerous political party and their client media. Let's worry about what comes next afterwards.

She wouldn't drop food ever

Anyway, surely having "Administrator" status on here should you straight in the door of a FTSE 100 company as a CEO?

"Okay which one you put this in the suggestion box? 'Buy a couple of second hand wheelie bins off eBay and stick some ice cubes in it. Bosh, cold dip.'" *Tea stirring intensifies with Charnley sweating into Nuno Santos peppermint infusion*

Can’t get divorced if you never got married in the first place

Mods, it looks like Gemmill has hacked Renton's account.

It’ll be a right fuck-on changing his nappy when he’s got this lot on.

Don't be silly, Therese was deputy PM don't you know, she is far too smart to be on the likes of Family Fortunes. She should be on Mastermind. Clive Myrie: "What is the capital of Rwanda?" Therese Coffey: "R"

I’m yet to see any evidence proving that Jordan and Katie Hopkins aren’t the same bloke.

There's been a new addition to the household in the last couple of weeks. She's fucking tiny, only 2.8kg, and she's fully grown. Called her KATO in honour of the Pink Panther style surprise attacks that she likes to carry out on the dog.

How a player worth 30m+ was beaten into second place by an useless old man is the question. Magedia?

So, they’ve bought the club at a cost of £300m, spent another £1b in court in order to get the sale through and so far spent about £400m on players and injected £100m or so into it via the share buying cash injections, the next step of this master plan is to then buy not only new land to build a new stadium on, but also buy the land SJP currently sits on. They will then lease the land they own, to the club they own (for a reason I guess). Then they will neglect to invest in players as they cite needing to pay the stadium off (so I assume the stadium build debt is burdening the club at this point). The final step of this grand plan is to then sell the club that has at this point cost you £1.3b plus the land you built the new stadium on (I’ll ignore the losses they’re covering for buying players and injecting cash into the club), at a profit while the club is heavily burdened with the debt of the stadium you’ve made it build and has by this point a presumably shit squad due to neglect? What is the ultimate point of this theoretical plan and why the fuck would the poster assume there’s any chance whatsoever it’s accurate? Why don’t they just watch football? I’ve never once just sat about dreaming up scenarios of what the mackem owners are doing with the club .

Even in their fantasy land it involves us struggling instead of them being good

Penfold: Nuno, with the current financial situation, I only can offer you some Rich Tea biscuits today

Charnley on the search for some Nottinghamshire based blart

Happy wife - happy life, pick your battles, and all that.

“ I’m afraid we’re going to have to let you go Lee, because, no, Netto Yellow Label is NOT the same as Tetleys.”

We should sell him because; He's not first choice We have some depth at CB He's on c£55k He'll raise more money than any other defenders He's playing at around his limit, maybe a little above it And because I say so

And taste

Fucking hell, look at the height of that fencing in front of the terraces. Fans literally treated like animals.

I wonder what Penfold is up to now? I hope he’s memorised which of his gaffers have two sugars and which have sweeteners by now.

"Winless in his last eight games" - Is Penfold the CEO at Al Ettifaq? Only he extends contracts of managers overseeing such excellent form.

The world's coolest dog in his going out gear.

He's just one of those who conflates what he hopes will happen with what he thinks will happen. The 'plan' falls down under the slightest scrutiny, but I'm sure it's picked up a few likes and a few internet backslaps, so that's what matters. PIF want to reflect in any glory or success, they want to paint themselves as a modern, forward facing country, they want to be the owners of the best club in the world (regardless of whether that's possible or not). PIF are not after a quick return, they don't care about flipping the stadium for a few hundred million, they don't want to cut costs or asset strip.

She probably did- notice there’s no one sitting close to her.

Yorkshire’s not a race.

They can’t be much good at spotting talent if they hire him.

If I were them I’d be more concerned how none of their prepubescent world beaters won young player of the year. #smogedia