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Exile claims to be a better football player than Bruno.

What an absolute knacker this mod is. Just Pope, Trippier, Tino, Botman, Lascelles, Kraft, Targett (?) injured in defence yesterday, all fringe players apparently. He's been coming out with this shit all year.

I think the main issue with our friend Keith is their being more dense than a neutron star

That doesn’t sound nice at all, he got a shit fetish or something ?

The one thing Exile had left to cling on to was the length of time since Newcastle had beaten Sunderland. With that no longer being the case he’s complete lost it. That’s me assuming he wasn’t a better player than a current Brazil international when he was in his mid 20s though

someone's bumped january's 500th edition of the co. durham mags debate, which is a novelty in itself rather than the usual start a new one. anyway, nowts changed. county durham mags never attend games, have an uncanny ability to change their accents at will and spend their lives in constant fear of being windmilled by not only mackems but also any nufc supporter born north of the tyne. must be a shit being a county durham mag when the highlight of your sad existence is nervously watching through a gap in the curtains at the bus loads of rock hard mlf's head off from your town/village to the half empty stadium of shite every other week.

Normal.

Today is my last day as an employee, as at midnight tonight I will be officially retired 😀 Feels a bit weird tbh, but no more digging us out of a hole due to Indians fucking up software and yanks setting up worthless meetings with no accounting for time difference (which I decline anyway, but it grated a tad). AND when go-live date of my ridiculously expensive project is imminent and shit’s hit the fan because something’s broken, no more accountants pestering me about “why haven’t you authorised that invoice for $5 yet” (which is the best bit to be leaving behind tbh).

My favourite line from .com's match report

Their obsession with Durham Mags is hilarious. It's bollocks anyway, Durham city and the NW of the county are better connected to Newcastle so have always been more NUFC. I can testify to this with relatives from Durham city/Stanley/Consett/Lanchester way. But more hilariously, each time they come up with this shit they invariably upset the relatively large SAFC contingent from Tyneside and SE Northumberland in particular. There ensues bitter arguments about Geordie "black cats", football cultural appropriation, 1973 aFA cup, John Hall, 1974 county changes, river Wear "boundaries", Nexus and the Metro, the airport, the Fairs cup.... . Endless bollocks. Rinse and repeat every month. I've said it before, I don't hate them in the slightest. I appreciate them for the comic value, they never fail to disappoint.

Disregarding Raisbeck and Ando utterly losing their shit for a moment the very last replay angle shows how good a finish this was. Fabiansky looks like he’s got his post covered but it’s the curve Barnes applies to the ball that brings it out then back in just behind the goalkeepers outstretched hand. It’s fuckin phenomenal ☺️

mrs bd has taken to heading off to newport each friday to do a weekly food shop at the tescos megastore. tragically I've started accompanying her occasionally, not because I like supermarkets, but because live in hope of spotting some 55 year old cunt wandering around in a sunderland top with a skateboard under his arm.

and another thing... is there such a thing as an nufc supporting hierarchy dependent on where you live? I do remember as a kid in the leazes end the odd outbreak of sporadic violence by gangs of teenage bootboys sorting out rival school issues if the match was shite, but then that would happen at the hoppings too. if I had ro go out on a limb I'd say the more sophisticated and discerning newcastle supporter probably frequents the percy arms pre-match but this has fuck all to do with where you're from.

Today I was eating at home with my father. We watched the first half of the game together in the living room (where I have a TV with the station to watch football) and, at half-time, we went to eat in the kitchen. I took a little longer than the 15 minute break, so when I returned to the room, we were already losing 1-3. My father, meanwhile, has been left washing the dirty dishes. Good. Well, around the 70th minute, more or less, he went to see how the game was going. He has seen that 1-3 and has gotten a little lost... But no. He came back every 2-3 minutes to see how we were doing and every time he came we scored. In the end, he has left the kitchen half-cleaned and has come to watch the final minutes, just to check Barnes' last arrow. Yes friends. My father is already a Newcastle fan.

It's the mackem version of the Freemason handshake. "A waz filling in a form at the dole office marra, and a put in 'County Durham' as me post curd marra. The wifey gives us a knowing sigh lol, before sanctioning us. FTM."

This is also typical and absolute bollocks as tbd has said. I'm all for inclusiveness, you can be from Pennywell and be welcome as far as I am concerned.

He's actually worth at least twice as much as their club! Exile really should have played for Sunderland and got himself transferred for the income it would have brought the club.

It’s phenomenal man. Bruno is better than any player they’ve had at their club, but knacker there says he was miles better and likely wasn’t challenged.

Not to mention the fear of being caught cannibalising the gaffer.

Howe got booked for the way he celebrated the winner. How is Arteta EVER allowed in the dugout if what Howe did was worthy of a booking ffs.

I hate seeing those scouse twats top of the league. Please anyone but these fuckers to win it.

You’re bound to get some people that view it that way I’m sure, but those people are mental it’s about 10 miles away ffs . It’s just their new weird obsession tbh, ever since “classy” died down after they used Trafalgar Square as a communal commode and public bath. If you support Newcastle you have to be born on the centre circle of SJP or you’re plastic as basically anywhere else in the NE should historically be SAFC. They’re just losers making up anything to make themselves feel better.

“I always put my address as County Durham” is a good one. What are you getting out of that exactly?

Well, maybe you should go also then Gemmill because you couldn't see driving home the other night, because you, you don't even wear your glasses in case you get slagged off. You just stick to Specsavers and I'll do the game.

Thanks lads. I didn't realise he needed a prop to celebrate a goal, the fucking bellend.

7-6

"How's the lamb pastitsada did you say?"

Well this "title shootout" is dogshit.

Nicked off twitter: Pope - 4 months out, dislocated shoulder could be a long term issue Tripps - mental breakdown, currently injured Schar - constant niggles somehow carries on Botman - nursing injury for too long, out until the summer Burn - broke back hasn't been the same since Targett - missed most of the season Lascelles - ACL out for 6-9 months Longstaff - nursing injury all season & gone to shit Bruno - fit but not the same trying to avoid suspension for weeks on end Joelinton - out for months Willock - missed most of the season Barnes - barely kicked a ball & been out for most of the season Tonali - 10 month ban Anderson - out for months with broken back Wilson - missed months of the season Isak - missed loads of the season & nursing a groin injury when he does play Almiron - season of niggles Murphy - out for weeks with dislocated shoulder Dubravka - was playing through a mystery illness Never known a season like it

I'm just laughing now because what else can you do?

That's on a par with "I was hoovering naked when I..."🙂

I will, I intend to become a professional fucking lazy cunt

So 'washing the dishes' is the Spanish version of the Geordie 'lucky piss'? Like it, Diego.

Absolute horseshit from start to finish and I wish I hadn't wasted my time.

MOTD put the D Team out for this one, but even then ewerk manages to come up with the WORST analysis of them all.

Be fair on yourself, in this scenario CT would have used advocaat

Ahh The storytelling master Exile is back….spinning his yarns as he whacks one out in his Mam’s attic. Such a level headed and rational nonce, ermmm I mean human being.

I'd argue that a fair few of our current squad are better than any player they've had at their club in the last 40yrs. Isak, Bruno, Trippier at the very least.

Fucking sitters, man.

Bloke my dad used to work with was fixing a leak in the garage roof. He fixed it successfully then went back in the house and got his Mrs to split him in half with her strap-on.

Congratulations old man. I can't fucking wait to knock it all on the head myself.

Just watching MOTD and for West Ham’s third goal our defence was entirely AWOL. The closest player to Bowen was AG. He busted a gut and ran the length of the pitch to try and put in a tackle. He’ll be remembered for the goals and the assists but that stood out for me.

Aye. Firmly in “I’d rather poke mesel in the eye with a shitty stick” territory