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Alreet, Chris Rea, we get the message.

Hope you all have a lovely relaxing one. Christmas that is, you dirty bastards. You’re a quite bloody magnificent lot. Although I’d never admit to that when I was sober

That was my third time experiencing it. All have been in a medical setting. Anyway, that's the hat trick. I got to take the rubber glove home.

Merry Christmas you dickheads. I was in the doctor's getting a finger up the arse yesterday (early Christmas present to myself, there's nothing wrong with me). No actually, the truth is I'm now on antibiotics for prostatitis. Fucking hell, getting old is pure bullshit.

Merry Christmas one and all. Just about to get tonight's Swedish Christmas meal going. Nothing says "festive season" quite like anchovies.

Anyway, merry Christmas one and all..... "Leave it Tony, he's not worth it!"

Merry Christmas lads! 2 hours from home, can’t wait. Looking forward to tomorrow, big old meal with the families then too much wine spread over the afternoon/evening. Speaking of fingers up arseholes, I’m looking forward to my Boxing Day turd being denser than a Neutron Star, and the glorious feeling of emptiness that follows it… briefly, as I’ll be hitting the drinks fridge and whatever scran is left over. Might even make some proper deep-fried chips! Have a good one you magnificent bastards!

Happy Christmas everyone. Hope your other halves all get you prostate exams for Christmas too

Does he take you out for dinner first next time? Oddly I was also having a conversation with the doc this week about fingering my prostate. He said he didn't feel it was necessary despite my persistence. In the end I was escorted out by security.

Merry Christmas you cunts!!

I'm about to head off out and start abusing the hooch to get through tomorrow, have a good one gents!

I am on my way to being pissed. So happy crimbo you great bunch of fuckers. That includes you Ahmed. 😘

I wonder if HMHM being too poorly to watch the match will bring the same good fortune as when he’s at work.

Merry Christmas chaps!

I asked my GP mate last week if she wanted.to check mine 😂 Get well soon lad

Let’s just wait and see, aye. 😉

Football fans are some of the most fickle in the world. Personally, I think we are coming along nicely of late, and see no reason we can't be playing in Europe next season if we just keep the ship steady if you will.

Seems this club can’t do any right this season. A week ago we had folk moaning that we only turn up against the ‘bigger’ teams, three decent victories against ‘lower’ teams later and well we’ve just beaten two lots of reserves and a shit Ipswich and “Let’s see how we turn up against the bigger teams”. I’m assuming the festive sauce has been deployed early.

Rear Gunner I assume

Safe journey home the rest of the way, old chap. 👍

a very merry black and white christmas to you all and your loved ones!

All the best, ladies. As always, knuckle down and we’ll get through to Boxing Day in no time

I've had it a few times as well. It's no fun being a human fingerBob.

All the best, gentleman, hope you're ok Gemmill? Makes a change the finger up the arse being for purely medical purposes I suppose? (I might be having a similar experience soon).

in the words of Bachman Turner Overdrive ……. You ain’t seen nothing yet ! All the best gents

Gemmill’s just jealous at the size of their cocks.

I’ve woken up Thurrock services. On the road in half an hour, hopefully home by 11-ish. Merry Christmas lads! 👍

Thanks all. He will be fine. The chemo will hopefully make him feel better indefinitely and we can get a bit of normality back. The main bit I'm struggling with is the pair of them feel like they've aged 20 years on the last 12 months.

Bullsitting or bullstanding? Asking for a friend. 🙂

bullshitting, mostly

Based on performance at that time that was absolutely true. Tonali was gradually introduced as his fitness grew and now his performances are lightyears better than his "running about a lot" which was the story of his earlier appearances. On current form our best three are Big Joe/Bruno and Tonali, that wasn't the case earlier in the season but it certainly is now. They measure and monitor these fuckers to the far end of a fart, if they're not ticking all the boxes their playing time will reflect that. I would suggest any changes to the team that happen are more fitness/physical and data driven than much else. To say Howe "now knows" like everyone saw something he didn't is disingenuous IMO, everyone and their uncle knows Tonali is more gifted than Longstaff but he just wasn't physically (and maybe tactically) ready. And yeah an 80% Tonali may likely still be a better player than 100% Longstaff but he's also more likely to get injured playing at less than 100%, they'll have all that data too calculating probabilites etc etc.

I do think people are being a bit hard on the lads - it feels like a switch has flipped for me since Liverpool, we're playing better for sure. Think if we get a result against Villa then people might start to risk having a bit of faith.

This makes me realise how fortunate we are that Stevie isn't still around. His sympathy for Tonali's gambling addiction would have been magnified by his general appreciation for all things Apennine.

Tell him to send Marco my best regards

Merry Christmas lads - as ever, much love

The antibiotics are working straight away tbf which is good. On the downside, the doctor literally used the following words to me: "these antibiotics are actually notorious for making people's tendons explode". He obviously thought the ice was sufficiently broken by his finger for him to get into the jokes. They are genuinely antibiotics that can fuck you up though. But his choice of words were interesting.

Think that's true of most football fans to be honest. I know Man City fans who are viewing this utterly mental collapse as just par for the course for their club. "Typical Man City".

Funny pictures thread. Fu. Nny.

This will be our fourth game in 12 days. Let’s hope that Bunce has been able to optimise their training workloads because we’ll need that intensity to beat these lot.

Now then Maurice, don’t drag me into your petty squabbles on here, it’s the season of goodwill to all men, even Yorkshiremen

That last one is SO fucking shit