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Wykiki, on holiday 2028.

The Ballad of Wykiki "But where do you go to my loveleh? When you're with that Callum int' bed Tell me t' thoughts that surround you I want to look inside your head, yes i do. I remember the back streets of Leeds Two young tykes begging in't rags Both touched with burning ambition To shake off their lowly-borne tags, they try So look in thy face Marie-Claire And remember just who you are Then go and forget me forever But I know you still bear the scar, deep inside, yes you do I know where you go to my loveleh When you're with that Callum in us bed I know the thoughts that surround you 'Cause I can look inside your head."

You really have missed your vocation in life Well, you probably walked out of it

Given his history with Everton we want to keep him as far away as fucking possible from the middle east tbh.

Bravely said and true. In reality we know next to nothing about their circumstances and frankly all the drama really does seem to be about ASM/Gordon. I mean that's a really narrow line of fire for a supposed wum. Still do feel LTA could -also- rise above it though - would be nice if we could get back to just banter style comments even if we do disagree. Once this one is sorted Gemmill, why don't you have a crack at the middle east?

Our everlasting respect and admiration.

you’ve really put your balls on the line here.

Change Chamonix for St Moritz, turn Wayne Rooney into The Aga Khan, your mate can be Sacha Distel and Marie Claire becomes Colleen Rooney and maybe chuck in Marlene Dietrich and you have the lyrics to a potential song. Did he he have a laugh with Wayne and Colleen and go 'ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha' by any chance?

Mate of mine is boarding in Chamonix at the moment/ Yesterday he's on the lift with this scouse bloke and said he's having a laugh. They both do the same run down and get on the same lift again. This happens a few times through the day. Last night they go get some food and then have a beer and this scousers comes up to him and asks if he was the one on the lift. My mate said aye and he has a chat with him. Scouser asks if he wants a pint, my mate said he's in round but thanks. Mate takes the round back to the table and his mates all look stunned. Mate asks whats wrong with em. 'Look at you best mates with Wayne Rooney' My mate doesn't follow football so didn't have a clue Said they had more chats with him and Colleen and said they were both really nice and down to earth.

who the fuck is this cunt?

Fuck off

Renton is well into is AI now.

Put £5 on Barcelona who were down 3-1 at half time. Only got 9/2, but still, knowing how fucking bent the officials are when it comes to Barcelona I knew it was easy money.

Thought it was going to end with his wallet going missing.

Classic Yorkshireman turning down a drink from a multimillionaire cos "I'm already in t'round, fella."

Fucking hell you wouldn't want to get hit by Rooney coming down the slopes.

Maybe, its supposedly a 50 million bid though which is a lot to replace your backup winger when you'd think that could buy a first 11 upgrade in one of our other spots. I know its about what players are available at the time etc. but we can't just keep buying left wingers 'cause decent ones are on sale.

And how Claudia Winkelman sees everything.

A private jet has about twenty minutes of fuel left before it's about to crash, there's four passengers on board the stricken aircraft but only three parachutes. The passengers discuss their options but realise one of them is going to miss out on safety. The first passenger doesn't mess around, he says, 'I'm Cristiano Ronaldo, I have millions of fans all around the world who would miss me if I die.' So with that he grabs the first chute and jumps out. No sooner than he does that the next man says, 'I'm President Trump, the greatest and smartest president in the history of the United States of America, my people couldn't live if their president died.' He then grabs the second chute and jumps out. The third person is Kevin Keegan and the last person is a young lad. Keegan says to the boy, 'I've lived most of my life, son, you've got yours ahead of you, you take the last chute and make the most of your life.' The kid then says, 'Its alright King Kev, there's parachutes for us both, the greatest and smartest president in the history of the United States of America took my satchel instead.'

1 millionth post AND it's about us signing a dribbler. Honestly, I know you're only young, but the rest of your life might all be downhill from here.

I have heard MAGA a lot on the wireless and it wasn't until I saw it here that it was an acronym

Insane narcisisstic psychopath bully with the emotional intelligence of a toddler. I'm definitely boycotting the US like. Canny easy choice in all fairness as the wife is terrified of long haul flights and the cost of visiting the US is now insane. Two decades ago you went there and could live like a prince, now, not so much. That's before I take into consideration that I'd be looking at the people around me trying to work out if they were a MAGA cunt or not.

Obviously if it was Wykiki who was there the back streets of Naples would become the back streets of Leeds.

Chamonix a centre for the ancient pastime of granny shagging then?

Middle of a heatwave here - been high 30's for last few days.

Time for the Fish to hop in the Time Machine and make that one final sale.

Don’t think liverpool are all that, city will hit form. Even if they don’t they will close the gap, then break some more rules and have a stellar team next season. Enjoy the premier league, its a level playing field for everyone.

The wife and I had a massive row about whose turn it was to do the laundry. I finally threw in the towel.

Huge if true.

If it was -40c it would also be -40f. But it isn’t, so it’s not

'APPEN

i'm going to make a bold prediction: we're signing no cunt

Reminds me of walking through the kitchen trying to pinch some food on a Sunday while my mam was cooking the Sunday dinner and listening to 'Saviles travels' or Alan Freeman's golden oldie shows on the radio.

I actually quite like that song. the wife thinks it's as creepy as fuck.

Stick a jumper on, you soft poof.

People across the world want change because on the whole they are being screwed. Biden got in because enough people were revolted by Trump, but then failed to prosecute him and put him in prison like he should have done. No surprise that plenty of average Americans failed to believe he was that dangerous when the previous admin did nothing to him I fear for Labour, they need to be radical or they will fail. If they continue on their way on incremental decline and austerity light then it will be no surprise if Reform win next time The whole Labour Admin is being fundamentally dishonest over Europe, and its undermining them and the whole country. And don't give me the shit about the media not allowing it, the media are already full in on howling outrage at every turn

How we see Claudia Winkelman...... How Wykiki sees her.....

pretty sure i've been talking shite on here since i was her age tbh

"her"

Tbh.

CV short for Cock volume?

Tbh without Covid there’s no Biden term as president. The economy was doing ok and Trump hadn’t started any wars. He’d made a lot of noise which is his MO to distract most people from him putting plans/people (that’s precisely what Musk did last night… he’s not a fascist, he doesn’t worship any nation state, he worships money and his own ego) in place to rob federal government which is his de facto reason for being president. Look out for him selling the federal student loan scheme to a hedge fund and condos in Yellowstone National Park 😑 Covid temporarily fucked Trump 2 but people have short memories (also he apparently only won by about 200k votes across the board, notions of some sort of landslide are bullshit) This time it appears strongly that he’s out for revenge and he’s using his usual mob intimidation/leverage tactics on the tech bros and nation states to achieve it. Then you’ve got the Putin factor, to what extent will he be emboldened? Worse case scenario in the near future for Europe is the threat to the Baltic states/Finland, possibly even Poland as he tries to rebuild the Russian empire bit-by-bit. I’m not pretending to be an economics expert but if he goes through with this tariff bullshit hes going to have massive problems domestically as his financial bullying of natural US allies and trading partners falls apart very quickly. There again, he might settle down after the first year and fuck off and play golf. He didn’t jail Hilary, and he didn’t do a number of other things he threatened to do in 2014-16. That's about the best we can hope for…. but then there’s the campaign for the elections in 2029 which will start in early/mid 2027… that’s when shit will get really interesting/horrifying….

I don't disagree entriely. Might disagree a bit about excusing the average American for recognising what Trump is, I mean, its in plain sight, every day. Truth is they just don't care, and that's what shocks me most. As for Labour going shit or bust over the EU, I don't think that's remotely the panacea you think it is (I know you probably don't either, but anyway). First of all, Europe is an absolute mess at the minute with the far right becoming ever more dominant. Secondly, we're not going to have any meaningful close relationship with them over the course of the next parliament imo. As usual we are talking to ourselves about this as if ascension to the EU is in our gift - it's not - they decide, and it only takes one nation or even region to block us. We should move to closer relations (which we are tbf), but the effects over the next election cycle will be neglible. And whilst I agree the media and gammons can't be placated, this will reignite over conflicts once again and be a massive political distraction for a whole another parliament. Even I can barely stomach that prospect.

Claudia Winkelman ✅