Leaderboard

‘Right, this Yorkshire lass is a right squirter, hence the need for the goggles. Now I want you to dive right in there and give it your best and for fucks sake don’t rule yourself out for the next eight weeks with a tongue injury like Callum did.’

It's Saturday arvo in the AU. Perfect time to continue with the bogan juice.

Aye, there’s also a couple of desirable free transfers floating about and I presume the desperation in clearing the deadwood and squad fillers is with an eye on freeing wages up for a potential move for Johnathan David or similar. It’s a calculated risk to sell and not replace this month but there’s only about 15 league games left, at most 2 LC games (touch wood) and a maximum of 5 FA Cup games, 3 of which are on designated weekends IIRC. And we’ll probably not go all the way so let’s say 2/3 more at most (though Birmingham away could easily dump us). We can get through that with a relatively small squad by managing fitness. Barnes isn’t a long term absentee and you’d love to think Wilson can hold up until May. Botman and Krafth are now back in the backline and you have Miley, Longstaff and Willock who can step into the middle when needed. I can see why Howe and Mitchell are choosing to wait. An injury to Isak or Tonali probably torpedoes everything but it will anyway, regardless of if we sign anybody this month

If he wins a league title then god help the rest of us.

Gloomy in the style of the fish; "The fuck did I do?"

Valentine's mugs? "I'd rather be drinking from the furry cup" would be a big seller.

"Ok Sandy, when you dive in head towards the bottom and you'll come to what looks like a dead end but dive a bit more and there's an underwater tunnel, swim through the tunnel till you see a light above then head up to a small room, come out of the water and you'll see a lever, approach it head on then pull it down, this will then open the door that is locked, you'll have just enough time to go back the way you came before getting out the pool and jump through the now opened door before it slams shut. When you get through the door you'll be on the next level. You can do it, Sandy!"

I would hope that as part of building on Leazes Park they then turn the SJP footprint into a new green space.

They extended it by three days to give Mitchell a fighting chance.

Good luck to Miggy. Some of the stick he’s been getting in the past year or so is absolutely embarrassing for someone who has been a pretty key part of the recent good times. Anyone who works as hard as he did for the team should be thought of fondly, no matter how frustrating he could be in the moment. He even went along with playing as a central midfielder under Bruce and was still sort of smiling. Can’t knock that level of commitment to the cause

Put down the BOGAN JUICE and go to BED.

I’d say we’ve been the better side, no saves for Dubs as far as I can remember. Would be nice to get a second and grab control to make the subs with Wednesday in mind

Overwhelmed with joy to see trendy Brighton with their FM regen players get tonked. They pull this shit every year. Good start and then total relegation form after Christmas

".....and with their latest release, here's 'anthropomorphic rhinoceros' with 'Ray Stubbs final score'. Take it away."

Quite an unedifying end to Henderson’s career. I had a lot of time for him as a player but he’s pissed on his chips in terms of the moral role model image he tried to project before going to Saudi Arabia. And the mackems have disowned him. So it’s not all bad news for him

Stitched up absolutely but we've also been terrible.

Far too open, too many misplaced passes. Arsenal would and will punish this nonsense

Also, you can add that Tonali strike to Nobby at the San Siro, Vuckic at home to West Brom and Tiote against Man City to the best NUFC goals that never were. What a fucking strike. The fact he’ll even attempt that means he does it in training and he WILL pull it off eventually

Joe Ellington's cousin.

Me every time big Joe hits a shot too high.

"Ok Sandro, when you locate Roy Keane's arsehole you need to dive in till you locate Louise Taylor's feet, when you find them pull her back out via his rusty sheriff's badge, you might feel a bit resistance at the end when she clings on for dear life with her tongue. Buona fortuna, comandante!"

"You're gonna be a greasy, fast, Italian monster! You're gonna eat lightning! You're gonna crap thunder! We'll have to put you in a cage, kid."

Move it to Stone Henge would be best for you, looking at that top of yours.

move it to monmouth I think.

“ I know this is the first time without your armbands, Sandra, but if you can do one length without touching the sides I’ll treat you to a breakfast at ‘Cucchiaio Di Tempos’ on the High St, I know it’s your favourite “

Nope. It was in Bidens power to ensure justice was served. He didn't and here we are

He's literally the antithesis of someone who believed in Brexit, but was happy to destroy the country in order to get personal power. At least morons like Bill Cash believed in it. It's like we are back in victoriana times with this amount of gaslighting.

Well she’s not exactly unattractive maybe 6.5-7 with a following wind?… She’s currently the best writer on Trump and his sins, methods and motivations. She frames him as a gangster when most media outlets point blank refuse to despite the overwhelming evidence as to that being the case. She’s also skewered Biden for his part in the Jan 6 failure, which he did mainly because it would’ve brought the entire edifice of US democracy crumbling down around his ears on his watch including hundreds of corrupt elected officials and representatives of his own party. The FBI were largely only interested in stopping that from happening too, but we can see this morning that those as much as providing paper clips for any Trump investigation is now toast. Her invites on to the likes of MSNBC where she was a regular contributor dried up to once she started to point this out because MSM are all fuckin complicit in it too.. Anyway, have a great Saturday folks

You’d be lost without both me and her. You might as well just admit it

He's obviously quite enjoyed paying no tax as well, so wants to end his career at another tax haven. The gormless rat.

🚨🚨🚨KENDZIOR KLAXON🚨🚨🚨

Upwards of £100 million I reckon. Minimum…

At least £101 Million ??

That's quite a range.

And a bit more.

Man City being shit all season and knocking Madrid out would be pretty funny

What I'm saying is, I don't think we're as far ahead of the "lesser" clubs as we'd like to think. We're getting by off the back of Howe's coaching. We need a couple of big windows to establish a gap.

That was absolutely disgraceful. Typically we'd blame this on fatigue, oh players didn't have energy etc etc. Good thing that options not available today because far too often we fail to turn up against average teams at home. Offered nothing, far too many misplaced passes. Just nudging the ball here and there in stoppage time when you should be raring to go up the pitch. Schar has to go for Botman, he really has to. Joe and Bruno can fuck off for me too after that performance. I see people blaming Tino here and yeah he's not been great but our star midfielders just tend to disappear when they feel like it. Meh, absolutely ticked off after watching that shite, should probably stop typing . We're not getting CL, some of these players think they are CL level but you have to earn it. Also fearful for Arsenal now. I think they'll turn up for that though, it's the average teams we tend to switch off for and there should be absolute rockets from Howe for that. That ref can fuck off too the prick. Just fuck off

Fucking McGroin.

We’re committing a lot of men forward on these attacks. Need to be careful not to get caught on the break.

Not knowing much about.. well anything really, but especially the building and maintenance of a stadium I'm wondering how long the current site can be viable. Not talking about expansion, but how long could it realistically be maintained to a high standard before things are not able to be fixed?

Aye Biden not just letting the justice system deal with Trump was disgraceful.

+2 be sure

Her two questions at the press conference today, fuck me! Asking Eddie about some Canadian women's coach getting done for using a drone to spy on opposition and also giving a great example herself at how to drone as the question went on and on, then after Eddie answering her concisely whilst trying not to laugh at her she follows it up with another monologue/question asking him if he thinks the coach he's never heard of in a story he's never heard of should be given another chance? Funny as fuck when after another concise answer basically saying he doesn't give a fuck either way the NUFC press officer asks journalists to keep the questions a little more brief so others can get a go. ( I understand his sentiment as my sister could talk a glass eye to sleep as well).