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You were. I remember the headline: "Lying bastard speaking in broken Spanish tries to convince vulnerable big issue seller that he was a footballer." It was a fun read tbf.

That last screenshot They’re a fanbase who spent a 10 page thread inventing stories about how every football fan in London bent over backwards to fellate them last week but we’re the needy ones

Someone should show him that on whatever social media platform he's on, I'm sure he'll take it in good spirits and see the funny side.

First day went great. Only cunt is me it seems. I'll soon change that. Decent amount of fanny too 👍🏻👌🏻

I don't think I've ever mentioned this here. When I was at St. James's Park years ago (Newcastle-Norwich in 2018), I was walking around the stadium before going in to watch the game and ran into a woman handing out newspapers/magazines at the door advertising a betting shop. I don't remember which one. The woman was surprised to see that my cousin and I didn't speak Geordie and that we clearly had a strange accent (well, we spoke Spanish to each other). She asked us various questions, and we ended up telling her that we were two kids who had been Atleti fans as kids and that she didn't quite know how we'd ended up being Newcastle fans from afar. I think the woman, who seemed to have a poor understanding of football-related concepts, understood that my cousin and I were Atleti players who had come as fans to watch a Newcastle game. He even asked us for a photo, and when he said goodbye, he told us it would be published in that magazine/newspaper. I was always curious to know if I'd ever be on the cover of a local newspaper. Hahaha.

"And now for my final song here at the Stack, a sad song by the big O and I'm going to miss you all, you've been an amazing crowd, thank you very much..... 🎵 .....Setting suns before they fall Echo to you, that's all, that's all But you'll see lonely sunsets after all It's over, it's over, it's over It's over. 🎶

“Jobe” off to Dortmund apparently. Didn’t fancy the relegation battle

it wasn't just other clubs supporters though was it? they invented stories about being given guards of honour in covent garden by groups of tourist students who weren't even in to football. still, at least that demonstrates an infinitely better form of holidaying decorum than running about attacking northern italians with a plastic sword outside rome's colloseum.

If the last 2-3 days is demonstrable on how you lot are going to be, this thread needs a health warning and is probably best avoided. No real point getting emotional in response to journalist reports linking players with other clubs who were linked to us previously thanks to journalist reports. Likely find that our true recruitment hasn’t even been rumoured and these names were nothing more than clickbait.

Keith foaming with such fury, he forgotten who scored in the cup final

At least I hope they made me look good.

If he lasts that long he’ll have the record.

@Diego21 Get your flights booked, son.

done this once before but fuck it...

Mbuemo always felt like he was more of a name put forward so much by supporters that eventually some of the reporters started linking him to us as well. I don't think we've ever seriously targeted him, his age and price don't fit for me and I'm not sure he provides for Isak in the same way as Murphy does. Murphy had an unreal last campaign and I honestly think Howe will start with him as first choice regardless of who we sign. So I think it's far more likely we will look for a younger player who can hopefully develop into a better version of Murphy. IMO we aren't paying £50m+ for that player. I think we'll probably spend more at the back but I'm still not convinced we're looking for any £50m players. I think we'll look considerably cheaper and bolster the squad more. Without considerable sales I don't see us spending more than £100m so we're going to have to be much smarter than spunking £60m on players like Mbuemo.

Bryan Mbeumo right now:

He is basing his entire premise on one man saying one thing and conflating it across the entire fan base. He's the fucking poster boy for delusion, the mad cunt. I don't say that every mackem shits in on the floor of the stands at their ground, do I? Mainly, because they never fill their ground, but still...

Stalk them on socials then post their pics on here. You know you're dying to

Whenever we have signed the likes of Tonali, Bruno etc, they have come out of nowhere. I am totally chill (for once) on this.

If you’re going to mug someone then you may as well choose the softest target out there.

Did this “woman” have a flat cap and sheepskin coat?

Sounds great, sign me up! "Hang on a minute.....I'm getting.... Swimming?..... Brimming?......RIMMING!! That's it! Is there a Keyth in the rewm?"

Naa... You'll definitely have to have it because I've bought the domain www.daveythewalkervillewizard.com in preparation for the live show to follow, it'll be a bit like a male Mystic Meg playing the clerbs, you'll be dressed like Gandalf and basically doing Derek Achorah's act with a football quiz & bingo thrown in. Contract being finalized today, it'll be emailed out to you for signing tomorrow 👍

"Jadon, lad we're paying Man Utd £5m to remove you from our premises but just hold that pose while we take a photo of you in our new away kit...." Chelsea 25-26 Away Kit Leaked - Tribute to Iconic 1974 Kit & Hungarian Team - Footy Headlines

I remember being shattered to find that it is not, in fact, drunk in the Congo.

The more I think about the RW, if McAtee is available from Man City, I could see us going for him. Can play RW but could also sit in the midfield three and thread some passes about in a way that others can’t

Chelsea paying the £5m 'penalty' to get out of the £25m obligation to buy Jadon Sancho. Man United are fucked

Wonder if that was Mitchel led (of course we'll never know). The other thing is that if he's looking to get close to £200k a week, then it's an absolute non starter. We'd immediately have several other players we'd have to increase their wage to keep them happy. I don't see us going to that level for anyone but Isak at the moment. Regardless of us being in a better PSR position now, we could easy fuck it up again if we start spunking that sort of money out on every new player.

discussed at length at time mate, as was toonpack's fixation with the young man in the white t-shirt.

Bruno Fernandes knocks back Saudi .. That's the solution to their PSR question up in smoke.

keith just being keith, the stupid cunt. cockney mackem running themselves down a bit there though with regard to the exposure they deserve. when they went down, down again and then lolled about in the 3rd division for 4 years both nufc and supporters from the rest of the country's football clubs found it absolutely fucking hilarious and fell about laughing accordingly.

is he any good on a karaoke machine?

I’d piss myself if they signed Longstaff* You’d hear the fewm on the ISS. * MATTY, not Sean.

But don't take @Christmas Tree 's recommendation for a pre-match drink. 👍

I chucked in a quippy 2 liner, I'm not about to set up me debut twitter account and unleash hell on the net. that said mind I do think kd raises a valid point, it was those 5 players I had in mind in when posting. if we were genuinely interested then it would appear we've missed out to the speedier suitors. which in some ways is probably preferable to watching us losing in a protracted, public game of 3 card brag where the maximum stake is a penny like we did with guehi last summer. a new player would be nice. what's more likely to bring out the inner meldrew with me is if saudi clubs keep funding our competitors with ludicrous fees for their has beens and never quite will be's without mbs and al-rumayyan waving their bonesaws about.

I was very tempted to get my zoom lens out walking on the beach yesterday..... But got sudden panic over ethical, legal, employment and MF concerns.

Oxymoron alert!

Yeah am quite enjoying my new role identifying Gemmill's burner accounts. This one's a fuckin doozy, he's cosplaying yanky female data nerd with a pic of Damon Alban in a poxy Chelsea shirt from the 90s. He's hypothesizing that man utd are about to walk into one of the most common mistakes in football recruitment...they're basically buying the two outstanding players from last season but they're both anomalies; nothing in their history suggests they'll do it again... https://x.com/stuffsabsays/status/1929638965273154035?t=TFHbEkmArazJKiLBVc5p5g&s=19 So let's move on. Man Utd fans told us Ashworth, Wilcox and the drugs cheat were guaranteed to move them forward and that Yoro was a young Beckenbauer etc etc...if PiF finance this by buying their Bruno (he's absolutely key to them) and they remain in the bottom half of the table it's going to be even funnier than this season, the wages they must be offering will be even more crippling. This could properly finish them....

It's a shame because he is clearly a good player, but I maintain that anyone choosing Man U over us (or quite a lot of other teams) currently is self-sorting into the "not worth our time" basket. Yes top players will always back themselves to succeed but they're picking a sinking ship because it was good a decade ago, they're either thick as pig shit or have terrible greedy advisors around them and we don't need that. There are other players.

Might want to pass on a player that even CHELSEA think is overpaid and shite The reaction to Mboonio news is way over the top, but then thats just social media for you. We may have been interested in him but it's not like he was the only target for the summer ffs. A massive part of what Howe does is have players that believe in this team and where he's taking them. We'll be fine as long as we add 3-4 quality players and some depth to the squad. And that's obviously not going to be straightforward.

I still expect Juwwde to take his regular constitutionals along Roker Beaych and then pop in to the city centre for a shit, mind. He loves the place.

Atletico Madrid visit SJP for this years SELA Cup. Our revered trophy may be in trouble

I wouldn't be surprised if we stand pat until end of the month, we'll have a list of targets we'd like from clubs we'll reckon are PSR squeezed, pick up one or two bargains and then go big signing (if we need to) early July. Edit: As an added bonus this strategy would wind up TBD no end and supercharge his inner Meldrew which would be highly amusing.

Honestly I’m not going to piss my pants over “targets” we don’t even know were really on our radar.

Bit harsh. I was only giving my opinion.

NUFC full steam ahead on the transfer business behind the scenes at SJP....