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For those outside the region struggling to understand, “Geordie boys taking the piss. We fucking are ⚫️⚪️” translates as “ Dear Eddie Bring me back please”.

This bollocks makes it seem like they've sold themselves short at £200m. We were sold for £305m 4 years ago and it took Ashley a while to get a buyer. We're a club with over 100 years of history, one of the highest attendances in the country and huge international recognition - not to go all SMB but I've had people call out/comment positively on a Newcastle shirt in New York, Hawaii, South Africa, Italy, Sydney, Melbourne (and call out and comment negatively in London). I'm genuinely happy that women's football support, viewership and participation has had massive increases in the last 5 years but the reality is that it will always be a vastly inferior product as far as the game play is concerned. These sort of stunts to fund the main event only serve to make a mockery of the progress that has been made.

Just been for a lovely walk in Tynemouth. Didn't see any Mag tops at all. I did see one person in SAFC merch*. They're easy to spot and hear as people step apart and clap. Just like those MLF weirdos, I photomugged him outside the Gib as evidence. He didn't seem to mind, * All true until this point.

I hear that we've agreed personal terms with Matt Targett and we're absolutely desperate to hang on to Joe Willock despite a lot of interest. 😉

TP's first real connection.. "Hello? It's Toonpack here, have you got that file I asked for at the Shields police ball last week?"

Aye I remember Romano with his exclusive a few years ago that Pedro was "Here we go" only for it to be completely wrong. I dunno. I wouldn't be crying into my pint if we didn't sign Pedro, I've got a bad vibe from him he is by all accounts a petulant cunt

That's fairly standard for valuation of a business - to base it on the future revenue. They're looking at the growth of the women's game and coming up with £200m. On the plus side, that means we can do the same thing. It matters less that we're not currently a successful women's team if the accepted valuation by the PL is that you can base it on future growth of the women's sport. It's really frustrating that Chelsea are getting away with all this, and with every move they pull, they're undermining the whole idea of PSR to the point where changes HAVE to be coming. But the other thing to bear in mind is that they're gonna run out of things that they can sell. The hotels, the women's team, you can only sell these things once. Eventually reality will bite and they'll be just like every other team, albeit with a lot of playing assets that they can trade. But if they're overpaying for them, even that might not work out for them. I just hope they don't win anything significant in the interim.

You too?

I had ball cancer the first time so half of Salford and Manchester have seen my cock and balls during inspections. I really didn’t enjoy a doctor bringing in two what looked to me teenage girls, who were apparently trainee doctors. If they have to learn I suppose it best be on the smallest cock in town so they can get used to it.

I was absolutely shitting it. Especially when I walked in and there was 5 female nurses. One for one too 🤣 but they put a numbing gel on the bell and tbh it's more uncomfortable than painful. The weird thing is they filled my bladder up and then emptied it! I basically sat in my own piss. Then! They.wanted to check my prostate and to do that I had to sign a form! Wtf. Here love you've just filmed my bell ends ffs!

FYP

A local email service for local people.

I don't want to sell him but if you get silly money in for players, that's what starts to be transformative for the rest of the squad. Our main problem at the minute seems to be that Chelsea want to buy every fucker we want, and they've got a wage bill we can't compete with. I do wish we would stop this "the club says they want £40m, we'll start with a bid of 60% of that" which is what we're currently doing with Trafford.

If he wants to go the Chelsea, there's nowt we can do about it. It sounds like his agent knew Chelsea were interested and the player was happy to wait until they came to the table. Us getting a bid accepted by Brighton would only have brought Chelsea in earlier. Although quite what "intensified talks" means, I don't know. Sounds like Romano being a tit again to me.

U21s fucking brilliant. Delighted for Carsley, seems a nice bloke. Hates the national anthem too so he is alright by me.

It's genuine pisstake that the only reason they can do this is because they sold their women's team to themselves

Get with the fucking times people and get an AOL address like me.

Pleased to hear you're alright btw. The one stop shop stuff they do for bollock and tit scans these days are a brilliant change though, where you leave knowing the story. Instead of having to go home wondering what the lad on the ultrasound saw and wait for a letter, like it used to be. I reckon they just got one look at the captain of team handsome and thought fuck it I'm getting a look at his balls too.

It will if he gets all three hands up there!

Were we ever actually credibly reported as being after cunha? Mbuemo still plays for Brentford tbf, he's gone nowhere yet. Though it seems we've moved on. Delap had most of the league after him because that release clause was buttons and he went where he'd be first choice. I get where you're coming from KD but Im just not at panic stations yet. Our best business has never been public and I feel like a lot of our fans who are panicking just aren't quite used to us being linked with anyone moving yet since Ashley left.

Rod Stewart, man. Dressed like a pimp from the old west, grunting his way through the set while moving like he’s in claymation. Fucking woeful

Absolutely dreading that some of this shit will be coming my way in my 40s

firstly secondly 😳 after cancer, MND, dementia and looked in syndrome, a camera up that particular one-way street is up there with the things I hope I manage to avoid while on this earth. My old man had to have it done. Of course you have to be conscious for it. Said the last time he screamed that much was when Everton came from 2-0 down against Sheffield Wednesday to win 3-2 in the 1966 FA cup final

i honestly think we've moved on. thats if we were ever genuinely interested. i don't doubt we respect his quality but i wonder if we ever thought that he was attainable. tbh i'm quite liking Nunez at rb for us. he's made a few errors but he's been learning the role. he's definitely improved a lot as a defender. and he now seems to be offering more going forward. plus his pace is just silly.

According to someone on Bluesky it's a myth DCL is always injured and we should sign him. He's only missed 90 games in 5 years.

Apprentice means you’ve learned from an older mentor. All my own work…

Nee tits tho

Tino's mum > Gordon's missus 😆 Wasn't she in that Footballer 's Wives nonsense from about 20 years ago?

Yeah Chelsea women's team have been heavily involved in the later stages of the WCL, I think they may have even won it. With the best will in the world we weren't going to get even half that valuation.As you say even if we'd tried it in the first instance we'd have been blocked, wrong club badge 😑

Can they not buy them back at their actual value and then repeat the trick?

They'll promptly close that loophole if/when we decide to do it.

Rumours that Villa are short for the PSR deadline, but will just sell themselves their women's team to avoid having to sell any players. Which begs the question, why the fuck did we give Elliott Anderson away for £15m this time last year instead of just doing the same?

Fuck that. Show me a better 22 year old RB/LB willing to come to us for less.

Aye Chelsea getting Saudi money definitely hasn't helped us, but on the plus side Chelsea are gonna be absolutely fucking wrecked by Christmas. We could almost certainly up our bid as well btw. If we don't it'll be cos we don't agree with the valuation.

€1.5BN spend and counting since 2022/2023 season begun. In the words of Lego Head, "It's a disgrace".

Seems steep for a FM regen.

So that's Delap and Pedro they've conceivably done us for in just one month... Think an admin might as well close the "Gazumped y'fuckas!!" thread. Sorry @Howmanheyman but it's for the best.. Had to meet (suffer?) some of the now semi permanent Mrs PL's work colleagues last night. There was a kid there called Kelvin who is a 27 year old Nigerian Arsenal supporter. I told him beware Chelsea for the title next season and he laughed in my face. I also told him that Arteta was too mentally weak to win a league title. That fuckin shut him up

It's all just a distraction piece from how badly their bollocks are gonna get flicked next season. They've got another 8 weeks or so of "mag shirts" and "sunlun's global reach" to talk about before their fucking world falls apart.

Posts 400 of the 400th thread on "Mag tops"

Prior to me having the camera up the japs eye they did an ultrasound scan on my balls. The nurse said she would step out whilst I undressed. Then I laid there with my cock out 🤣

Had a lump in my tit. Had to go to the breast cancer clinic to get it checked out. Thankfully it was nothing and the doctor reckoned it's probably off eating too much fake protein in shakes/bars/yoghurts. The experience at the clinic was probably the most emasculating of my life though. A young lass had to squeeze my pec (moob) into a breast scanner, then I had to sit in a waiting room full of elderly women for 2 hours staring at a wall and getting side eyed, before the doctor asked to examine my balls in case I had a lump there too. Drove myself home after and didn't even put the radio on. Just sat in silence feeling violated. FML

Did the video from this week of Dan Burn on that High Performance Podcast get posted? He was saying Howe contacted people to try and determine whether Burn's mates could be a bad influence on him if he returned home. So I'd assume he will have done similar with Elanga, Pedro etc. Also on Pedro, people are worried about his attitude etc. If Howe is prepared to buy him, it's cos he thinks he can deal with that.

Familiarity breeds contempt. I do think there's something to the psychology of it from a fan view that if the player is from overseas then somehow the club have tried harder to get a better player. Tonali had become a folklore before he had really kicked a ball. If he had been called Sam Thomas from Blackburn with a gambling habit, then I dont know whether we would have had as much love for him as we did for Sandro on his return. Elanga has international experience with Isak and presumably Krafth so you have a relationship already with the incoming player. Id wager Eddie has already spoken to the pair of them about the personality he is. Same could be said for Pedro with Bruno and Joelinton. Limited experience but has been in Brazil squads with them. It's not fantasy football, there's a load of human factors to consider with all of these signings and so far we've pretty much hit the bullseye every time.