wolfy

The Kelly families song was bettered by this young fella. And bettered by this young fella. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLgLVjK5I6Y

Who remembers these?

Quality band.

I used to love this when I was younger. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWO_AIh8drk

Thinking back eh.

Fish's dinner date. Fish standing outside the sushi restaurant waiting for Gina to turn up. Fish:....(looks at his watch) bleeding heck, where is Gina, she is nearly 12 seconds late. Sushi chef: You wa cum in outta the code. Fish:...(thoroughly pissed off that Gina is 27 seconds late) No it's ok , I'll hang on here for another 46 seconds, then I'm off home to go on Toontastic. Sushi chef:.....EH.. Fish: Just get back inside and don't make me angry, cos you won't like me when I'm angry. Sushi chef:...(goes back inside and returns with a meat cleaver)...Yu wa some o this....yu no get angy wi me, I chop yu up. (proceed to slash at Fish's face and suit, dissecting his tie and leaving Fish in a mess on the floor). Fish: Ow, you blighter, you've ruined my new suit and tie and slashed my face you blithering imbecile. Sushi chef: ( attacks Fish with a dead tuna, aided by 4 workers as it was really heavy) Fish:...Ow. Gina pulls up in her Beetle. Gina: My word Fish, I've spent 3 hours getting ready for a bit of tail end and you turn up like a drunken tramp. Fish: That's because you are 2 minutes and 12 seconds late and in that time I've been meat cleavered to fuck and Tuna fished to high heaven, you git you Ginga. Gina:... Oh I'm so sorry , I must say....I did have a flat tyre and a kind gentleman pumped me up the back...tyre I mean Fish....and my name's fucking Gina not Ginga you scruffy little bastard, now get up and kiss me where it smells. Fish:...Ok , sushi restaurant it is then. Gina...( sniffs up) Have you washed your bell end before you came out Fish? Fish:, yes you cheeky git, I smell because I've been battered with Tuna and I can smell fish as well you know, have you scrubbed your bliff? Gina:..Well I never...I'm disgusted in you Fish, thinking I haven't washed my fanny. Fish:..Well stop saying my bell end reeks then as you'll give me a complex Ginga. Gina:..If you call me Ginga one more time Fish, I'm going to get my brother onto you and he is dead hard like and knows kung fu. Fish:...Threatening me are yeah, eh, eh, eh...Ginga Ginga Ginga, no phone your kid and I'll have him out like. Gina:..Why are you talking like Wolfy would, from Toontastic. Fish:..How do you know Wolfy like? Gina:..Well I went on to spy on what you were doing and I saw Wolfy and...and. Fish:..COME ON WENCH...OUT WITH IT. Gina: No I shall not tell you, as you are getting mad and are scaring me and making me pump. Fish: Tell me now or I'll beat you up Ginga , after I've changed into some womens gear I have in my sports bag , so people don;t think I'm a bloke hitting a woman like...you know what I mean don't yeah. Gina: You called me Ginga again as if I'm some long lasting copper coloured top battery or something, so I'm afraid I'm gonna have to fist you in the cock and embarrass you in front of all the customers. Fish: (Runs into the toilet and opens his adidas bag, then immediately gets into some Marilyn Monroe over the air fan gear, complete with wig) Gina: Where the hell has Fish gone, I hope he hasn't ran off or he can forget about bumming me later on like. Fish: (Emerges from the toilet after wanking 4 blokes off in there who thought he was really Marilyn and got a tenner each off them.) Gina:... (shouts loudly) FISH, WHERE ARE YOU? (not realising that Fish was stood next to her as Marilyn) Fish:..Here I am next to you , so shhhh, don't give my disguise away. Gina:..Wow Fish, you look dead attractive like, I getting a right fucking wide on here over you, does this make me a lesbian? Fish:..I don't know Ginga, I'm not too clued up on stuff like this mind but let's forget the meal and go home and have sex...I'll let you lick me out like. Gina:..But Fish, you've got a knob not a fanny. Fish:..Shit, oh yeah, I forgot...I told you I wasn't clued up..Ok you can take me home and bum me. Gina: Ermmm Fish...HELLO...I'm the one with the fanny, how can I bum you. Fish:..Why the fuck do you have to be so awkward?.......Ok there's a sex shop on the way, we can go in and get you a strap on cock ...no vaseline mind as I'm right horny I am and I want you to do a ginga special on me. Gina: What's that Fishy baby. Fish:..I want a fucking good dry bumming Ginga. Gina: Oh Fish, this date is going swimmingly. (farts, then kisses Fish on the cheek and off they go) Just use your imagination from that point on. THE END.

Perch has done an outstanding covering job in ALL positions in the last 12 months.

You are what you are.If everyone was the same, as you know...the world would be one boring place. I'm easy going and I can banter, debate, be controversial, opinionated and stubborn, just like you can and many others. I don't care about you or anyone else on this forum in terms of any physical bond...not because I don't like you all, it's because I don't know anyone. so I'm not emotionally attached. It's a different scenario for someone on here that has met others, as they will naturally create some kind of bond. As we know. The internet creates internet warriors and He Men and millionaires, plus kung fu experts and the likes, yet common sense tells us that a portion of it is true and the rest is bullshit. Trying to figure out the bullshit from the genuine is equivalent to a lass listening to the voices of 3 contestant behind a screen on Cilla Blacks blind date.

Of course people need to get over themselves, yet it implies more than you think , as every person that frequents message board, as in part of the forum furniture, actually do care what others think, yet some will take the stance of appearing not to give a rats arse, which we all know is absolute bullshit.

Fish, without appearing to be playing a silly game...the fact that you are explaining yourself, shows that you do care.The fact that you have amassed 27,620 pots, shows me that you care what people think. I don;t mean that in any wind up or derogatory way, I mean it in a way that shows, you are an active participant in a forum that you care about and are willing to share your time conversing in, with anyone that meets your expectations. Unfortunately, as in life on the street, you will come across those that you avoid or blatantly ignore or even face to face, tell them to 'go away.' Trying to tell me that what goes on , on this forum has no bearing on you, is a lie mate and you know it. Sometimes it's best to be yourself and accept other posters for what they bring to the forum whether they are educated, illiterate, green as grass, outlandish, opinionated or whatever. It's a forum and you are a big part of it's make up as well as all the others that stand out, yet there are many more that read it and enjoy it for what it is. I know I irritate you, which is fair enough, because You know I won't back down in my stance and I'm a bit wacky, yet I have no problem with it all, from anyone and will banter along with the lot of you. What makes a good forum, is posters wanting to get involved, even those who are viewing yet are dubious about coming into a topic yet feel it's their topic to enter. They will do it if they see banter that isn't based on bitterness or childish tit for tats which we are all guilty of. My cards are on the table with all posters and I mean all and I hold no malice or grudge against any poster, I think it would be canny of all posters played the same game , regardless of wind ups and digs, as it's part and parcel of forum chat.

Oh and by the way Fish...I think you are a decent poster and have good views on many things. I may disagree with you on controversial topics but it doesn't mean I have any issues with you, as like I say, I just find you a little bit too, stubborn in your own little stance on things, as much as you may find me stubborn and basic in mine and other people's. Don't take any offence at what I've said as I'm not here to piss on anyone's cornflakes.

Have you met the man and actually had a face to face conversation with him? A few things I don't want to see in your answers. 1. No, because I see an irrational INTERNET NUTTER. 2. No because I'm far too intelligent. 3. No, because I am loved on this site and people hang on to me like starving children on their mothers breasts. If you have met the lad face to face, then I think you would get a true understanding of the internet persona he portrays. If this is the case , then I can accept that you have a problem with the lad.....If not, I think the problem stays with yourself and any other person that has never physically met him. I personally , (internet wise) thought he was a good poster , and I would have no problem if he called me a stupid looking prick for my views. He is an interesting and opinionated poster, just as you are and many others, yet your opinions appear to supposedly have more basis , due to the 'following' of certain WEAK individuals who hang on to what you type. I'm sorry mate but that's how I see it.

Actually Renton, I said what I said to give you a reminder that imagining things and the actual truth can be miles off, as in your imagination of me signing on the dole but anyway that's by the by now. My humour is odd, I agree with you there. my wife calls me mental and even says, " where the hell do you come up with that stuff from" amid giggling mind. I also sing stupid words to songs and they rhyme and my wife might be standing at the sink...close mind, due to her size 1 feet and find she will sing the wrong words to a song because my words have got into her head. A for instance: Did you ever watch Balamory? You know the little seaside town with different coloured houses and there was Suzie sweet and Penny poclet...they both run the village shop and cafe . Then there was Archie, he lived in a castle and was an inventor. PC plum, the Bobby, naturally. Miss hooly or whatever, the school teacher. Then there was the woman who drove the school bus...anyway you get my meaning. Each time it was on, each character would sing a song. PC Plum sang....I'm PC plum and I'll show you how it's done, I'm your policeman and I am Your chum.....I bet some are singing the fucking song now , hahahaha. Anyway, my version was....I'm PC Plum, shove a pencil up my bum.... My wife would go in hysterics. Oh I'm fucking off my trolley Renton , I can't deny that.

Renton: Remember when you were at school and would be mates with someone and laugh at their jokes as they would your jokes, no matter even if they weren't that funny at times. Can you also recall when you fall out with someone and you aren't speaking and hear them tell a joke, or they hear you tell a joke and none of you laugh, yet you sort of look at them as if the joke was the shittiest joke ever told. A sort of look like this. This is how I am imagining you ,sat in your leather swing chair, looking at your lap top, wearing your white coat with pens in the top pocket.

What same joke is this then?

Seriously Renton man, you need to rid yourself of the bitterness and have a laugh. I know you can't stand me but look past my name man and stop taking things personal...you're a bloody professional man aren't you.

Don't take it to heart sweet cheeks, if it's any consolation, I bet you have grown up into a fine strapping model. Gemmil's achievements. 1. 100 Metre school champion (3.7 seconds) 2. Long jump, (268 Metres) 3. Hop skip and jump ( failed), leg snapped on the hop. 4. Stilt walking champion, later disqualified when it was found he used no stilts. Gemmill is one of very few men in the world that can wear a mini skirt and make every man spring a massive bonk on over a 1 mile stretch. Gemmill is one of few men that can stand in the deep end of a swimming pool and make it look like the shallow end. When Gemmill puts his lap top on his knees, he has to use arm extensions to type. I'm a right childish bastard aren't I. Just a joke Gemmill lad, no offence meant.

Sorry mate, I can't take you serious, I keep having images of your legs to neck picture.

I know what I saw.

I did for a week or so until Renton got him banned.

I thought Leazes was a good poster.

The Government are getting tough on DLA claimants now. The problem is, they are getting tough on those who need it whilst the others continue to milk the system. It shouldn't surprise anyone though, they've been doing it to law abiding motorists for long enough, turning old Mr Bloggs who had a clean licence for 50 years into a 6 penalty point endorsement on licence with added fines to go with it and a raise of his insurance, whilst the road rage criminal couldn't give a fuck, gets a rap on the wrist because the courts know they won't pay up and would rather go to jail, which they also know are too full and would serve no purpose to the car looneys who treat it as an occupational hazard. They would have no qualms with sending old Mr Bloggs away though if he refuses to pay his fines.