Dr Gloom

second time I’ve agreed with you today 👏

You were lucky enough to keep the wide open humiliation under wraps. Until now

The same logic applies to all deal making though doesn’t it. You test the water with an opening bid or two before going to your final offer. This is the point where you really can’t afford to go any higher. I don’t know if we have hit that point yet or whether we were the ones taking the piss with lowball early bids. But seeing four or five offers rejected as publicly as this isn’t a great look.

you must be that ginger bloke my mate in wideopen was telling me about who made 10 bids for his three-bed semi

I think that’s the first thing you’ve posted today that I agree with But what else are we going to chat shit about on a slow news day with three days to go till the window closes?

no, I’m saying there are other players out there if this one is prohibitively expensive. I’d like to think they’re working on multiple targets

Compare it to buying property. Has anyone ever made more than four offers on a house? Our tactic has always been to make a cheeky opening offer. Then a second if their counter offer is too high and a third if we really want the house. If that hasn’t been enough we’d walk away. There are more houses/players out there if you can’t afford your first choice

it feels like £60m plus add one or whatever the last bid was might be the top end of our valuation. It was the fourth bid, I think? Usually if the selling club is serious about selling you’ll reach an agreement by the third bid, right? Unless one side is trying to take the piss out of the other

so never walk away? Even if the selling club is taking the piss? Palace are negotiating from a position of strength. They’re flush with cash from other sales and already lost their other centre half. They’re only selling if we pay silly money, by the looks of it.

okay, i was just pasting the verbatim quotes back from the press conference so take it up with howe's words. i don't know why the window has been so "incredibly difficult", as howe puts it. i suspect a lot of it might be to do with the change in the way the club is structured. this is all speculation on my part as i haven't got a clue what's going on behind the scenes, but howe came out and said he was concerned after amanda left, which is not like him at all. we've had to scramble to sell two young players because of psr, the first team hasn't really been improved and now we've had this protracted guehi transfer saga - the first of its kind since the takeover. whether this is all part of a masterplan and we're all happy with the outcome after the window closes remains to be seen - there is still time for them to pull off a blinder - but its the first period since the takeover that it hasn't felt like everyone is singing from the same hymn sheet.

it's okay to get things wrong you know

“It’s been the most difficult window I’ve experienced,” said Howe ahead of Sunday’s match against his former club Bournemouth.

“The June part of the window was incredibly difficult and now this part hasn’t been exactly easy either. It’s always going to be difficult because you’re competing for a very small pool of players and the competition is high from other clubs.” When asked directly about the chances of signing Guehi, Howe replied: “There’s no news. I’m a step removed, but I’m aware there’s still work going on behind the scenes.”

that was exactly my point to craig - i'm not pretending to have a clue about who the realistic targets are, or who is available because who knows how much money they want or whether they would contemplate joining us? eales and mitchell will ultimately be judged by what they've managed to do before the window closes. we obviously aren't as attractive since missing out on european football, but i still find it hard to believe we can't improve both problem positions. leaving it till the last three days of the window is testing the faith. they haven't done it like this to date - howe said as much in a recent press conference that this has been his most difficult window so far.

I mean, no one said it but it's hard to imagine they have much more to spend if they drop £70m on Guehi. I may be wrong, but it seems unlikely given what they have done in recent windows - we haven't done a Todd Boehly style supermarket sweep and I wouldn't expect them to.

i think the club should sign a RW better than Murphy and MIggy, yes. This is not a controversial opinion, you know. it's the only position in the squad that hasn't been upgraded since the takeover. i could throw plenty of names at you but i have no clue whether they would join or not and neither do you

100%. i hope the media have got it all wrong and we announce two signings that the football reporters had no clue about whatsoever. that would be more keeping with our style since the takeover so far - players in the £30-50m range, announced out of nowhere with none of this very public and protracted increased bidding that we've seen play out in the media with the guehi story. it all feels a bit odd and not in keeping with they way they've done their business so far.

a case so flimsy it would be dismissed before going trial. we are debating whether it's worth spunking our entire summer budget on guehi - you appear to assume a bullshit artist on a message board should have inside knowledge of which players are available and willing to join us. how the fuck would any of us know about any of that?

zero evidence? did i miss something? i always thought he looked like a canny player for bournemouth, though he didn't impress me on sunday. i think he's a more natural CB than LB

nope. never tried it, but my god i could be tempted if we have to endure another season of miggy and murphy

how the fuck should i know? i don't speak to players' agents. it's their job to get the business done in good time - not mine

it didn't prevent the old recruitment team from getting business done with time to spare. they signed bruno and trippier in a january window when relegation was on the cards. the new set up might yet get it right, but they're cutting it fine. if the window closed tomorrow, it would be the worst since the takeover. that's why people are moaning on social media.

the club aren't paying me to identify and sign the players

yup, we've had months to upgrade two positions which clearly need addressing. chelsea slightly fucked up our pursuit of a RW by gazumping us on tosen but it has felt a bit rudderless since then. we are getting into panic-buy territory now. i hope they still have long-term targets which they have managed to keep under wraps which they will announce before the window closes.