Dr Gloom

i've tapped up as many prawn sandwich options as i can but demand is off the scale. my banker has already said he can't guarantee he'll come through for me

close enough that you can get an uber to wimbledon at 6am when you're still off your tits

it would be just our luck if he nukes London two days before the final

my west ham mate i'm taking to match doesn't fancy their chances. says he'll be delighted to escape with a point,

the PL concussion protocol means 7 days rest and observation from when the player goes off with the injury. i dunno if that is triggered by a player going off with a head inury or if the concussion has to be diagnosed by medical staff

i'm at this game. i've only seen us win since the takeover so hoping that run of form continues. unfortunately i'm up with mates for this one, so i din't have my little lad, who is my lucky mascot. still fancy a win. i'm disappointed isak and bruno won't be involved, but looking forward to seeing what gordon can do and hoping it isn't a case of after the lord mayor's show. hopefully the atmosphere will be decent with it being a 5pm kick off under the lights.

yeah, he looked good, but it was more of a number 10 position, tucked in behind the striker wasn't it? he looked lost playing in the deeper role under bruce. but then, who didn't?

fyp

the window only just shut man

Ginola is a silver fox and still sexy as fuck man

i agree it's a process, we're well ahead of schedule and slightly hamstrung by FFP - and we can't get rid of all the shite from the ashley era overnight. i've even heard some people argue on podcasts that qualifying for the CL could come too soon, that we might struggle in the competition if we're still stuck with loads of shite in the squad that we can't shift. not sure i fully agree with that line. i see finishing top 4 well ahead of schedule this season as more of an opportunity to turbo charge our transformation - and our spending. nobody expected it to happen this quickly but that also presents an unbelievable opportunity. i don't think the club were wrong to let shelvey go, but i hope we don't regret not replacing him. the midfield engine room does look quite thin now. ideally we will always get our top targets for the price we want to pay, and i don't mind them sticking to their guns, but it would be such a shame if we fall short because of injuries to midfielders, when a loan signing might have helped us get over the line.

Gibbo’s match preview podcast he does for the chronicle has become my guilty pleasure. I could listen to the bloke talk all day.

I’m taking jacuzzis in the filthy bloody oil money, trust me

Aye, same. Driving my family round the bend with my renewed obsession with football. The wife used to question why I used to put myself through watching us week in week out, when were so shit, like a deranged masochist. I could only say you enjoy the good times more when you’ve experienced the shite. I wasn’t wrong

mate, have you seen the state of my new trainers? bring on the vulgarity!