England's World Cup TV schedule

[maggiespaws 0]

Our due dates the 24th, more experienced fathers than me seem to be suppressing laughter when i explain my plan of being off work in front of the telly, baby on knee, can of lager in one hand and betting slip in the other.

 

If only.....

 

What it will actually be is:

 

Game on in the background, you on the floor getting covered in shite and puke trying to change a nappy whilst attempting to watch the game. The bairn will be screaming it's nut off as you smear Bepanthen in it's eye for the 2nd time because you aren't watching what you're doing.

 

You'll promise yourself you will sit and watch a match but inevitably, once the baby has settled and nodded off on your arm, you'll have missed Rooney's hat trick against the USA because you've nodded off and you'll awake to find the can of lager that was in your hand has emptied itself into your crotch as you fell asleep.

 

 

Possibly....... :D

 

Fuuuuuuuuuccckkkkk.

 

I am expecting our lass to be on hand too, at least during the england matches.

 

*googles Bepanthen....

 

A better plan would be to get her and the baby out of the house (via a liberal bribe in cash). "Here you go pet, why don't you take you and your mam out for coffee/lunch etc" Job done