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2025/26 - Generic NUFC Chat. Cunts ☑️


wykikitoon
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Howmanheyman

Man United (a) - Fuck knaas

Everton (h) - Fuck knaas

Spurs (a) - Fuck knaas 

Villa (h) - W

Southampton (a) - Fuck knaas 

Chelsea (h) - Fuck knaas

 

 

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Monkeys Fist
5 hours ago, Dr Gloom said:

 

he used to sit in the gallowgate end watching jackie milburn with blair 

Did he trudge through the snow all the way from Boldon, though? 
:CT:

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Monkeys Fist

Man United (a) - Fucken A

Everton (h) - Fucken A

Spurs (a) - Shut the Fuck Up Donny

Villa (h) - Fucken A

Southampton (a) - Fucken A

Chelsea (h) - The Dude Abides

 

giphy-downsized-large.gif

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Gemmill

@Howmanheymanis never gonna go for the stadium name change. 

 

Or is he....?

 

 

INTERIOR 3:13AM ST. JAMES PARK BOARD ROOM

 

CEO Darren Eales and Chief Commercial Officer Peter Silverstone sit at the Board table. Ties loosened, empty pizza boxes strewn across the table. They have clearly been working for hours on an unsolvable problem. 

 

EALES: It's no good Peter.  There's nothing we can come up with to solve the HMHM problem. The guy (gumph) is unmovable. 

 

SILVERSTONE: We can do it Darren, we just need to...

 

Silverstone leaps from his chair, grabbing a nearby flip chart. He pulls the cap off with his teeth, spitting it to the Boardroom floor and begins frantically writing. 

 

EALES: You're wasting your time, Peter!  We can't-

 

Silverstone, deep in concentration, brow furrowed, holds up his spare hand in a silencing gesture.  He stops writing, and steps back to survey his work. 

 

EALES: What is it?  Damn it Peter, don't keep me in suspense!

 

Silverstone spins the flip board round, revealing his perfect script: 

 

SILVERSTONE: The Newcastle United Yes That's Fucking Right There's More Than One United Has Been Forever Although You Wouldn't Know It Watching Football Coverage Since the 90s Speaking of Which Fuck Sky Sports Especially That Bitter Cunt Souness And Don't Even Get Me Started on the BT Sport Pundits Especially On a Night Liverpool Are Playing SAUDI ARAMCO ARENA @ ST JAMES PARK.

 

Eales rises from his seat, openly weeping and embraces Silverstone. 

 

EALES: Peter, you big glorious guy, you solved the HMHM puzzle. 

 

SILVERSTONE: That's nice Darren, but don't let him hear you call me guy. 

 

EALES: You're right, I forgot. 

 

END SCENE 

Edited by Gemmill
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Christmas Tree
1 minute ago, strawb said:

He’s middle aged, he woke up for a piss


Aye, but to be able to suddenly knock up a screenplay :lol: 

 

Must do a line straight after his piss.

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Monkeys Fist
11 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said:


Aye, but to be able to suddenly knock up a screenplay :lol: 

 

Must do a line straight after his piss.

He’s clearly dropped a tab of BONG! 

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Howmanheyman
48 minutes ago, Christmas Tree said:

@Gemmill All of that at 4-5 in the morning :lol: 

 

What’s your secret :lol: 

 

:D

 

He's been told to write down his dreams by his therapist as soon as he wakes up while it's fresh in his mind. 

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Monkeys Fist
6 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

therapist

Soo close.…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

”GET IN THE TAXI, ITS CHINESE MOUSE TIME!” 

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RobinRobin
5 hours ago, Gemmill said:

@Howmanheymanis never gonna go for the stadium name change. 

 

Or is he....?

 

 

INTERIOR 3:13AM ST. JAMES PARK BOARD ROOM

 

CEO Darren Eales and Chief Commercial Officer Peter Silverstone sit at the Board table. Ties loosened, empty pizza boxes strewn across the table. They have clearly been working for hours on an unsolvable problem. 

 

EALES: It's no good Peter.  There's nothing we can come up with to solve the HMHM problem. The guy (gumph) is unmovable. 

 

SILVERSTONE: We can do it Darren, we just need to...

 

Silverstone leaps from his chair, grabbing a nearby flip chart. He pulls the cap off with his teeth, spitting it to the Boardroom floor and begins frantically writing. 

 

EALES: You're wasting your time, Peter!  We can't-

 

Silverstone, deep in concentration, brow furrowed, holds up his spare hand in a silencing gesture.  He stops writing, and steps back to survey his work. 

 

EALES: What is it?  Damn it Peter, don't keep me in suspense!

 

Silverstone spins the flip board round, revealing his perfect script: 

 

SILVERSTONE: The Newcastle United Yes That's Fucking Right There's More Than One United Has Been Forever Although You Wouldn't Know It Watching Football Coverage Since the 90s Speaking of Which Fuck Sky Sports Especially That Bitter Cunt Souness And Don't Even Get Me Started on the BT Sport Pundits Especially On a Night Liverpool Are Playing SAUDI ARAMCO ARENA @ ST JAMES PARK.

 

Eales rises from his seat, openly weeping and embraces Silverstone. 

 

EALES: Peter, you big glorious guy, you solved the HMHM puzzle. 

 

SILVERSTONE: That's nice Darren, but don't let him hear you call me guy. 

 

EALES: You're right, I forgot. 

 

END SCENE 

Definitely

Celebrate In Love GIF by HBO Max

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Howmanheyman

I missed the interview, I've downloaded it on BBC sounds and will give it a listen when I get the chance so having no knowledge of what he said I can only say that Gemmill is right, I wouldn't want to change it unless they've a way around it where it's basically SJP and the sponsor doesn't get mentioned. It's being penny wise, pound foolish in the long run, we'll get where we want to be sooner or later and SJP as a name will have far more attraction than the Aramco/whatever stadium. If we want to be a global giant we need to start acting like one and I can only imagine the howling and gnashing of teeth in the media, let alone the fans, if Anfield and Old Trafford changed to a sponsor. A new stadium is a get out of jail card and is probably fair game but you're damaging 'the brand' imo by doing it if we stay at SJP. We should be in a position with the money to come, the professionals being appointed to key positions, gradually improving the side and European football will get us there so doing this is an admission we're a bit two bob, we're not, we're Newcastle United and we play at St. James' Park. 👍 

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Dr Gloom
17 minutes ago, Howmanheyman said:

I missed the interview, I've downloaded it on BBC sounds and will give it a listen when I get the chance so having no knowledge of what he said I can only say that Gemmill is right, I wouldn't want to change it unless they've a way around it where it's basically SJP and the sponsor doesn't get mentioned. It's being penny wise, pound foolish in the long run, we'll get where we want to be sooner or later and SJP as a name will have far more attraction than the Aramco/whatever stadium. If we want to be a global giant we need to start acting like one and I can only imagine the howling and gnashing of teeth in the media, let alone the fans, if Anfield and Old Trafford changed to a sponsor. A new stadium is a get out of jail card and is probably fair game but you're damaging 'the brand' imo by doing it if we stay at SJP. We should be in a position with the money to come, the professionals being appointed to key positions, gradually improving the side and European football will get us there so doing this is an admission we're a bit two bob, we're not, we're Newcastle United and we play at St. James' Park. 👍 

 

I'd prefer it if they plastered aramco or saudi golf all over the stadium without changing the name, but i wouldn't be that arsed if they switched it to Aramco St James' Park or something to get around FFP.

 

man city get 67m a season from etihad. presumably that's fair market value and we could do similar. 

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Dr Gloom

it would still be, and would always remain, SJP so it doesn't make that much difference to me if it generates the cash we need

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Howmanheyman
1 hour ago, ewerk said:

The won't lose the SJP part of the name. It'll be SJP powered by Aramco or something similar.

 

If there's a way around it then great. 👍

 

1 hour ago, Dr Gloom said:

it would still be, and would always remain, SJP so it doesn't make that much difference to me if it generates the cash we need

 

The fear is long term you'd have brainwashed kids knowing no better calling it 'the Aramco' or whatever it's named as they'd hear the official version all the time. Think Man U and 'United', all and sundry under 35 from all over the UK wouldn't think twice of calling them anything else, in fact you have the odd DLC from our own fan base who'll occasionally say it. I even recall the odd glory hunter around 93 having everyone confused by talking about the 'exhibition' stand or the 'Sir John Hall' stand. (Been a fan long, lads?) :lol:

 

 

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10 hours ago, Craig said:

 

 

Well we've found Bruno's weakness. Can't fucking clap to save himself.

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