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I‘m actually really not arsed about the transfer window. I started supporting Newcastle about 30 years ago and for the most part it was worrying about the next season and if things were going to be worse. Last season was the most amazing experience for me as a football fan taking in mind I celebrated two world cups and one European Championship with Germany (I was not really into 1980). I am pretty sure something will happen until the end of August. We might miss some targets but will end up with other players Eddie will make to be great. Instead of worrying about signing or missing out of some players I do rather wait on who we will play next season and what opportunities might arise to get a ticket. I am more pissed off with some random foreign fans getting to take part in adverts considering the pain I suffered for three decades. All will be well. Or not. I will still die having seen Newcastle lifting a cup. I am happy, I enjoy supporting Newcastle. Something that was difficult for quite a long time.

Heard some ITK info last night. Two maybe three big deals are expected to be completed early next week. The club are just waiting on Andrew beginning the site maintenance

"Hello everyone and welcome to the transfer thread. We're expecting heavy gusts today but that's just CT's hondacrackas after McEwan's champion and a pizza duck pizza."

Certainly does

I've been largely ignoring this thread cos the whole situation is pissing me off - but then I saw that it got the "hot" label and thought maybe, just maybe, we were signing someone. Nope, just a weather forecast...

Lass at work asked if it really does hurt that much when you get a tattoo so I told her it depends where you get it? She said, Wallsend. Carry on, chaps.

Keyth: "Alright marras, I'm Keyth, FTM?" Everyone: "Alright Keyth, FTM" Keyth: "I like to make unbelievable yet still somehow dull stories up about the mags anaarl..... God it feyls grayat getting it off me chest." Chair Marra: "dinna worry about it Keyth, wa'al bullshitters ere at massive lads fans and massive tales anonymous, like."

'wewww, what wa mwain fwing is, wor weddie is not happwie' 'MAM! I've towld yow, when the wed light is on, imw wecording, but was, can I pwease have alwphabettie spwagetthi'

Lass with ADHD: "We decided against the move in the end, my ADHD has calmed down a bit and it is a bit of an upheaval what with...." Door opens: "How do? Wykiki, here! I say what I like and I like what I say! ADHD did I hear you say? Sounds like a shit rock tribute band, luv!" Lass with ADHD: [phones partner] "What time's the next flight, darling?"

Sorry, Dougie. Sometimes the emojis don’t work for whatever reason. :Dougie is a gigantic retard:

Amortisation wankers

The Thomas Partey case really makes me wonder what's fair. Should we keep the player out of jail while he's being investigated or rely on the presumption of innocence while a trial is underway? The reality is that Thomas Partey was arrested by the police and spent several days in jail in 2023, which meant he couldn't travel with the team for preseason training in Germany. Back then, the press had already leaked a case of rape involving a player from a London team. It was never mentioned publicly, but the Telegraph did say he was an Arsenal player, so everyone knew it was him. While he was in jail to testify, another case involving another woman was added to the mix. Later, I remember that videos of him admitting to one of the women what he had done and threatening her were leaked. (For me, at that point, even if the court says otherwise or one of the women drops the charges because they reach a settlement, it's already clear that Thomas is a bad person, and from that moment on, he has my animosity.) The Telegraph has been reporting more or less regularly on the progress of the case, that in the summer of 2024, Thomas was taken back to the police station because a third woman had reported him, and in January, it was stated that a warrant was already being issued against him and that he would have to testify and face trial in the coming months. So, Arsenal's position strikes me as unacceptable, cowardly, and groveling. "Thomas is no longer a player for this club, and we cannot comment on that." No. Thomas was a player for your club while he committed those acts. Thomas was arrested twice for those acts while he was a player for your club. And you tried to renew Thomas's contract knowing what was going to happen. That he was going to face trial for raping three women. Surely, moreover, the one who has not wanted to renew the contract has been Thomas himself, because if he ends up being found guilty, he will run away from England looking for a country where they cannot touch him (Saudi Arabia) and where he can continue playing football for several years, earning a lot of money and improving his image until what he has done is forgotten and expires.

Because it's warmer there.

Is this the spy thread? "The weather in London is five degrees warmer than Newcastle at this time of the year." "The premier league footballer, like the southern rat, may be spotted moving North but no further than the tip of the southern climate." "I shall get up in one minute, take the briefcase, in it is all the hot Mitch summer temperatures and player targets with the limits each club will not sanction a sale. This concludes the end of your DoF interview. The MLFs will self destruct a month into the new season. Good luck."

this swedish cunt not signed yet?

So, my great uncle (who I've talked about on here before) who was missing/KIA in 1915 will be laid to rest, with full military honours etc. In September on the 110th anniversary of the battle/his death. I will be there. Just been on the phone with BBC Scotland who are looking at covering the discovery, identification and ceremony as a documentary and they want to film with me and the artefacts (letters) we have. Yikes Toonpack on TV 😂

:cunt:

I think you’ll find Gemmill recently saying this window wasn’t going well has been the actual catalyst for the turnaround

I’m sure Arteta will handle any questions about this with his usual grace and tact

No bitch. I’m the king around these parts

Hope he doesn't mind it being 5 Deg cooler than London.

40+ new posts since I last viewed the thread this morning. Surely we must have signed someone. Ah no it's you dickheads discussing the weather.

fuck me, arguing about the weather is a new low. when does the new season start again?

Madam Tussauds. PL footballers can’t fucking get enough of it.

they'd just sell themselves kings road. the premier league would say aye ok and then you'd never hear another thing about it.

next time keith.... buy 4 remoulds and drive faster.

They must've misplaced mine and TBD's invite?

You can’t knock his choice of best man.

Watching that Olivia Rodridgo lass with my now teenage daughter. "At least she's easy on the eye" I say. "Paedo" says she. FML I feel old.

I'm positively ROFLMFAOing all over the shop.

Had a quick browse of a Forest forum to read some of their crack about Elanga and wouldn’t you know it, there’s Fish in there making friends We could play a third tier Korean team and you’d be in there asking about their players

Craig has a proud track record of never being wrong according to Craig.

That means Leeds United have the edge over Kendal Town in the transfer stakes.

In my hotel I have so far spotted two people in Sunderland shirts and zero in Newcastle jerseys. My reaction to those in Sunderland shirts was an incredibly indifferent ‘oh that’s a Sunderland shirt’. Obviously followed by my one man guard of honour while looking down at my shoes and muttering how I hate the mags anarl.

We all know Keith from the SMB is thick as pigshit and boring as fuck to boot. Perhaps he has some emotional intelligence after hearing about the tragic death of Diego Jota? Nah, of course not, time for another boring as fuck driving anecdote from the brain donor.

Stores it in his knees

Knopfler went to school in Gosforth, which was historically in County Durham.

absolutely fuck all happening in here again. so, I give you this masterpiece, getting on for 50 year old, blew me away when I was kid and responsible for an ongoing love of electronic music...

Boris Yeltsin, Arthur Askey, Mike Neville and Mikhail Gorbachev joining Wraith is quite the line up

I feel like Mbuemo was, but as soon as he publicly said he wanted man u and 250k a week we just went "fuck that" and moved on. Given our wage structure I am perfectly happy with that, as much as I rate him.

I had ball cancer the first time so half of Salford and Manchester have seen my cock and balls during inspections. I really didn’t enjoy a doctor bringing in two what looked to me teenage girls, who were apparently trainee doctors. If they have to learn I suppose it best be on the smallest cock in town so they can get used to it.