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🤯

I think I'm going to end every sentence with "...& of course the Genocide" from now on. Love the way he drops it in there. "My favourite teams? Newcastle, Mainz, Norrköping, Stenhousemuir & of course the Genocide." "I'll have the lamb jalfrezi, pilau rice, garlic naan & of course the Genocide."

Today I was eating at home with my father. We watched the first half of the game together in the living room (where I have a TV with the station to watch football) and, at half-time, we went to eat in the kitchen. I took a little longer than the 15 minute break, so when I returned to the room, we were already losing 1-3. My father, meanwhile, has been left washing the dirty dishes. Good. Well, around the 70th minute, more or less, he went to see how the game was going. He has seen that 1-3 and has gotten a little lost... But no. He came back every 2-3 minutes to see how we were doing and every time he came we scored. In the end, he has left the kitchen half-cleaned and has come to watch the final minutes, just to check Barnes' last arrow. Yes friends. My father is already a Newcastle fan.

“Mission accomplished agent Shearer, getting yet another chomp from a spreadsheet dude, return to base, this is Luddite red leader, over and out”

"This Exile 1968 character knows too much about our match fixing and is also a threat if he puts his football boots back on. Arrange either a car 'accident' with faulty breaks or get the lad who did Gazza's knee in Walkers to come out of retirement and finally put and end to Exile 1968's football career. We can't let this existential threat linger on for much longer."

"Why don't we have threads dissing U12 girls teams winning the league against boys, Reg?" "Because why would we? We're a football board having a laugh, taking the piss, talking about football. Leave it to RTG for that shite " "Don't oppress me! It's my right as a man to discuss U12 girls teams!" "I'm not oppressing you, but you're not an MLF?" "I want to be one." "What?!" "I want to be an MLF and talk shite about U12 girls teams." "But why? You're a Mag on a NUFC forum, we don't do that shite?" "Why don't we agree that CT, as a man from boldon, has the right to talk shite about U12 girls especially as he's dangerously close to Sunderland even though he's a Mag on a NUFC forum." "But what's the point?" "I want to invest in crypto currency as well!"

Do you mean the Guggenheim in Bilbao marra? More proof of the relationship between the cities marra. Anyway, the moron Skylon has a new "insult" for us amongst his inane lies. Newcamel. I mean, if he's really clever he can call us "Poocamel". Chortle.

"Hello Geordie, what do you have to say?" "here, ah dinnit think Steyve did a bad job for them, ah meayn us, marra, ah meayn wor kid. Yi na them, I meayn us mags, wuh expect too much, and hound managers out, and wuh definitely have an infeereeoritey complex when it comes to sun'lin - who Steyve was absolooteley woeful for, marra, ah mean wor kid. And let's not forget, the genocide."

Commentators talking about how good Schär is as the camera pans to him on the pitch as he's chatting away to the Spurs forward.... "I am terribly sorry, my friend, were you thinking of getting past me? Don't mind me as I just move past you with ease and play in our terrific blonde, Liverpudlian urchin fellow on the wing. Ciao."

lol Liverpool

You usually get called by them from birth or thereabouts 👍🏻

I see Mike Ashley has failed in his attempt to stop us having an exclusive kit deal with JD Sports. So sad.

Like clockwork

As well as all the clear benefits this win gives us re. League position, GD, confidence etc, let’s not forget how pissed off Andrew will be at having to start another match thread.

Not sure what my favourite part of Ballard's performance was against us. Was it the fact he should have been sent off for dragging Isak down? Was it for giving away a penalty? Was it for scoring an own goal? For me it was him claiming offside:

😬😬😬

Gemmill Gemmitt Demmitt Dummitt Dummett

'I beat your brother, he's shit no?'

"Fuuuckking GERRRINNN!!! A meydeyohka player on loan to the lads's brother playing for his country has fouled a Mag playing for his international country. It just dinna and winna get any better than this, young Jardan, drink it in, marra, drink. It. In."

I like how he’s just invented these scenarios and then convinced himself it’s just a matter of time until it’s uncovered with massive ramifications. I suppose it’s a bit like convincing yourself you used to be as good at football as one of the best midfielders in the premier league.

Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: Will you do it? The Jackal: Yes. Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: How much? The Jackal: You must understand that this is a once-in-a-lifetime job, whoever kills Exile can never work again... Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: How much do you want? The Jackal: Half a million. Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: What? The Jackal: Half in advance, half on completion. Shady Tyneside Cabal Member: Half a million pounds? The Jackal: No, containers of cheesy chips and bottles of blue pop.

"Ye Gods, the man is out of control! We need to silence him quicker than originally anticipated. He's a dangerous, loose cannon who knows the real truth. Is the 'Jackal' still alive and taking on work?"

I’ve always wondered which of the following they consider to be the classiest? 1- Glassing your chairman when he’s out for a meal with his wife. 2- Racially abusing your striker’s mother 3- Shitting all over your stadium and village. Maybe it’s a cumulative thing?

He was just waving back at Ballard

I love their misplaced theory that they are super fans and don’t whinge. They literally hound out every manager they appoint and have the most toxic home ground in the entire English leagues.

mackems getting beat 2-0 at home to Blackburn. They really need to bring on Excile to turn the game around 😂

Exile claims to be a better football player than Bruno.

Some highlights.

I heard he was allergic to the 5G that Bill Gates put in the “inoculation “. The more you know … … and, of course, the Genocide

Thought it was another really good performance from Anderson. He seems more of a physical presence than last season and I’ve been impressed with his energy on top of the technical ability he’s previously shown. I think midfield is his best position

They'd sing Jimmy Savile's name if he was getting them 10 goals a season. There'd also be way more dickheads turning up to the match dressed as sheikhs if they got bought out by the Saudis. Being too classy for owners that will never want them is all they've got left.

Desperate Dan Desperate Man

Adam Pearson is an AI generated visualisation of what goes on in Steve Wraith's head and no one can convince me otherwise.

Marrowfat 🤝 Marra fat

To be 6th with the injuries we've had this season is absolutely scandalous btw. Brilliant effort by the coaches and the players.

You’re watching a different game to me mate if you can’t see the difference between Longstaff of last season and this season. His best aspect is his pace and stamina in the pressing game which he still seems to able to do. His decision making and execution this season look tired and laboured though. Howe has already said he’s carrying an injury and is playing with injections which precisely explains why this is the case but with 3 other midfielders out he has little choice. He started yesterday because as other posters have pointed out it’s better at the moment to have quality like Anderson on the bench to come on and influence the game rather than starting the game and having to then bring on a half fit player to perhaps have to change the game. FFP prevented freshening this position in January. Last season I thought he was in the best form of his career and was unlucky not to get into the England reckoning. I don’t know what else there is to say. Am not claiming he’s the greatest player I’ve ever seen. I’ve seen few first choice XI’s that also had 20+ first class players to back them up all be fit and available all season and it’s profoundly unrealistic to expect that at NUFC regardless of who our owners are. Here’s the team from the first game of the season…he wasn’t in it… Sorry if I’ve been a pedantic prick in this post. I’m utterly pig fuckin sick though of people uttering “HOO MAN LONGYS SHITE MAN!!” I was surrounded by them yesterday at the match and goons on twitter making lists of the usual suspects that their tiny Championship Manager brains are telling them we absolutely categorically have to get rid of or the club itself will spontaneously self combust on Wednesday afternoon are just as bad. It’s all just utter, utter horseshit. Does nobody just think “well, this is better than Rafa and Steve Bruce and every other fucker since SBR, it’s not perfect but on balance this is fine..”?? People are really beginning to piss me off. Sorry this isn’t really aimed at you personally but I obviously needed to get this all off my chest This season really, really hasn’t been that bad. There are very well rehearsed reasons why it’s not perhaps been a bit better. I also think Howe has undoubtedly made a few mistakes and who the fuck knows what the standard of medical advice he's received has been like. It’s like no one wants to acknowledge the good though, fuck knows what fantastically high standards they hold themselves and others to at work or at home because they expect the moon on a fuckin stick from their football club. In place of thought and reason it’s just a constant stream of instant knee jerk wankerisms . I’ve fuckin had enough…

UK ✅

Howe at long last looking to sort out the defensive midfielder and left back problems

Hello Dave.