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It's like Beetlejuice but worse.

What a game or two halves that was. Absolutely bossed it first half against 11 men. Looked nervous and sluggish second half, the performance feeding the anxiety in the crowd until the second goal. I had an, erm, interesting end to the match. I jumped up to celebrate the second goal, tripped over the seat in front of me then ended up sparking myself out as I landed head first on the concrete in the row below me. Ended up spending the final minutes of the game being checked for concussion by doctors.

My little lad (6) played his first ever game today. 10 minutes in and he was scouted for Brighton. My elder lad (10) is livid. 😂

Devastating incident at East Boldon station this morning

I reckon we probably lose to Everton, but Man United beat Villa, possibly after their goalkeeper gets sent off. Wouldn't be surprised if there's a contentious decision that Villa won't shut up about either. Just a feeling I've got. Let's see what happens.

Liverpool Bastions of footballing integrity Liverpool Football Club (tm) absolutely chucking in their last 3 games of the season now they've got the league won and booing "one of their own" because he has the audacity to want to leave. As per, high as fuck on their own self-righteousness.

Morning Chaps, Apologies for the on/off service so close to the last match of the season! I am trying to get this sorted out but between myself and our server provider we're honestly not sure whats caused the last two major shut downs. The one just now was partly me trying to diagnose issues since going to our most recent restore (Friday morning) just led to the site dropping again in about the same time since it had last gone down. The place is creaking and is definitely due some maintenance/upgrades over the close season which I'll do my best with. For now, make sure you're on the discord if at all possible just in case and hopefully the place will stay up through tomorrow.

Wor lass had an interview today. She asked me to help her prepare. I asked ChatGPT to come up with a list of likely questions in that field. The interviewers apparently did the same. The questions they asked were pretty much word for word. Maybe I WILL get a BJ this year after all!

My dad was saying he saw CT walking round the estate this morning, chewing on his fingernails and muttering about "... the threat of Wilson Isidor..." and "Luke 'the wall' O'Nien". My dad tried to approach but he just got "DANIEL FUCKING BALLARD" screamed in his face.

A lovely tribute to Fabian Schar.

"Didn't feel it man, daft cunt."

Get the fuck in!!! Commentator saying in December The Cunts were 2nd and we were 12th. 46 points from last 21 games. Hail Eddie.

Surely these lads would have been more obvious. Interestingly enough, they featured two members of toontastic.

Did you hear about the guy in Chicago that told a mackem vacationer how he heard it clear as day on ESPN in the play off final? It made his hairs on the back of his neck stick up. He also said he hated the mags anarl.

This shit again. 😆 The Blaydon Races was set in county Durham marra, it's a MLF song. Meanwhile wise men say, penned in Memphis, Wearside.

Really, if they’re going to be known for singing an Elvis song, it should be In The Ghetto, the scruffy fucking tramps.

Pretty sure that's the blueprint Eddie's following this year - "What would make Wykiki happy so he doesn't call me a cunt and continues to let Wilson plug his Mrs and stay away from the training ground?"

That last screenshot They’re a fanbase who spent a 10 page thread inventing stories about how every football fan in London bent over backwards to fellate them last week but we’re the needy ones

Bit harsh. I was only giving my opinion.

Still looks more mobile than Callum currently does.

Take care on your run today

You try to do people a favour and bring some joy and entertainment to their Friday morning. Well I predict a very happy and healthy future for you all.

They should hire you. You’re better than any physio.

That’s the closest they’ve been to a decent coach in over a decade.

Never forget.

Bruno blowing Enzo Fernandez a kiss https://www.instagram.com/reel/DJjWeOJi3H-/?igsh=MXA3MnRsMnVoYWEwcg==

Just had a Quick Look at the table

Not counting my chickens but in many a season gone we’d have been on the opposite end of a result like that. Where we showed plenty of fight when things went against us. Losing to a top side whose class ultimately showed or whatever. Because the ‘top teams’ are ‘more clinical’ and ‘find a way to win even when they don’t play well’. And it feels fucking great to be on the other side of that. And particularly against those odious cunts and their fans

Lose to Coventry at home and go out - win Lose the playoff final - win Get promoted and get relegated by February - win

You're not in work now. There's no pay rise for licking the bossman's hoop.

**** REBREAKING NEWS **** THE RED HOT MITCH SUMMER HAS COMMENCED We've signed Ivan Cordoba, no wait, Antonio Cordero from Spanish GIANTS, Madrid, Malaga. BIG MITCH had this to say: "This is what I call fit for purpose. An abundance of potential. Eddie can look forward to news of him coming to training in 12 months time, before he's onsold to some one else for a small profit. To be honest it's patronising that they're making me comment on this small time signing when they've already tapped me on the shoulder and told everyone that I wasn't cutting it, but I suppose I have to at least keep pretending so they have to keep paying me."

You were. I remember the headline: "Lying bastard speaking in broken Spanish tries to convince vulnerable big issue seller that he was a footballer." It was a fun read tbf.

“Jobe” off to Dortmund apparently. Didn’t fancy the relegation battle

Probably for the best, especially as I've already go a few on board Bought a new suitcase, wife fucked the combination up, had to bolt cutter the lock off. Great start I did manage to retain my calm, but it did mean I had to sink a few in fast order Not her fault obviously

Never mind that, TP. I’ve acquired a small quantity of magic beans. Would you be interested in buying some of them?

Good move on their part tbf, no MLFs to bother them and no NUFC fans to bother them either because unless it's a derby and they're wearing their mackem strips nobody knows who they are.

For those who can't see anything. Don't adjust your sets. It's a list of all Gemmill's predictions that proved true. Stay tuned next week for part two of NOTHING.

Currently in Andalusia between Marbella and Estapona, not sure if you can see it on the photo but think you might be able to see the pillars of Hercules, definitely Gibraltar anyway in the distance. The raggy is top notch by the way and that's especially the staff.

"They're very good at that, they make you play at their level." You fucking wish you could play at our level, you stubbly nonce.

There’s your team talk Eddie What a fuckin twat Arteta is. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but he’s a fuckin idiot

in a dream world we beat arsenal at their place to go 2nd guaranteeing cl qualification barring a mathematical miracle. we'd be set up for what would be the climax to the most successful season in my lifetime, (well,all of our lifetimes!) in a sjp which will be rocking to its fucking foundations!

It's hard to see how they come at the Premier League next season with the belief that they can qualify for the Champions League again. They've been so far off the pace, have shown no heart outside the of the Europa League and have extremely deep seeded problems throughout the club. They're regressing whilst clubs like us and Aston Villa are moving quickly in the other direction. Man United aren't the drawcard they once were for players so they've subsequently paid extremely high wages to bring players in. At the same time they've failed to get consistent performances from anyone whether they've been more experienced players or players bought on their potential (and paid according to their potential too). They don't have a style or identity in the pitch because their squad is Frankenstein's monster from various manager's tenures. They'll struggle to have anyone that can be sold - noone will pay the excessive wages to unproven players or players past their prime and despite the media's best efforts to promote their young players, the table doesn't lie. A line of managers have failed to fix the intrinsic problems and the owners, despite spending heavily, have managed to all but destroy the relationship with the supporters. Tottenham's problems aren't as deep seeded because they've always been very tight with their wage structure. That said they've run out of cash cows players they can sell to fund other purchases so no European income next season will hurt their rebuild immensely. Having seen them bottle many important games this season I can't see how they will beat Man Utd who have some spammy ability to win stuff.

Just say no, kids