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I only have one month left to finish my job at the high school where I've been a teacher for the past two years. Yesterday my students gave me a gift.

They never uttered a fucking peep when Abramovich was laundering Putin’s money through Chelsea. I think the odd one has basically mentioned they were scared of litigation. Which doesn’t really say much for their journalistic integrity but also begs the question as to why they never mention it now either, given how obvious the consequences of turning a blind eye to that and the other oligarchs was at the time. They all fucking went to the World Cup there after he’d already invaded Ukraine and annexed a large part of the country. Louise Taylor wrote a gushing article about Qatar and only admitted afterwards when she got found out that the Qatari government had paid for the trip. And most of all, if you claim to care about human rights abuses in Saudi but only bring it up in relation to NUFC then it’s plain as day what really bothers you. Go and fucking fuck yourselves, you hypocritical cunts

Gentlemen *tips hat* I’m putting today’s win down to the fact that we had an old skool catch up today. JawD kindly invited myself, Pud, Jill and Ritchie to the game. I also took that new baby that I had 5 minutes ago and gave him the day off his GCSE revision. There was lots of reminiscing and disbelief at how old we are. Anyway, beating that lot will always be amongst my happiest days and it was much needed today ❤️

Core memory made tonight. My 64 year old dad was my daughters age the last time we won a trophy

🤷🏻‍♂️

I have had no media for almost a month. I am not a gambler but I found four unscratched lottery tickets. The third one I scratched, I fucking won $25,000. The Mrs. and myself have had quite the adventure since. We made our way back home last night. First we flew off to Vancouver and went to Whistler, British Columbia and spent two weeks on the mountain. Then flew to Kingston for four nights and then finished off in Nassau, Bahamas. From there we went to Seattle for a night and then rented a car and drove the complete highway 101. This morning I awoke, fired up the youtube and sat back and watched the match and parade. Unbelievable scenes! I am so proud of the club and the players. Absolute legends. I have the biggest smile I have had in a long time.

Just got back home. Spent the day in the centre circle section of Club Wembley before getting guest list for Limp Bizkit at Wembley Arena Its hard to put into words how mental that was & the feeling of seeing the players lift the trophy in black & white ribbons. Best day of my life. 🏆🥇

Apparently they're moaning about the ball being over the line again for our goal?

Congrats lads and lasses if any club and city deserves a trophy it’s you guys best team won on the day fair play, enjoy the celebrations yous deserve it cheers

Someone must have told Kelly it waa fancy dress and he's gone Kim Jong Un. Classic Kelly.

The lads giving Gemmill a shout.

Start a thread then. Get it sorted.

Would you be willing to miss out on Kid Dynamite this season if it meant we could land Guehi?

"Which one of you is Simon Bird?" "Ah bucked ya ma, yi daft cunt" "Nah, seriously though. Eddie's canny ill at the minute like." "Got the clap from rifling Birdy's ma."

"Eight consecutive wins for Newcastle putting them up to fourth. Jamie, how close is Ruben Amorim to turning it around and getting 'United'© challenging for champions league football?"

"After much deliberation with my partners we didn't feel Newcastle would've added much value to the rich energy brand."

I‘m actually really not arsed about the transfer window. I started supporting Newcastle about 30 years ago and for the most part it was worrying about the next season and if things were going to be worse. Last season was the most amazing experience for me as a football fan taking in mind I celebrated two world cups and one European Championship with Germany (I was not really into 1980). I am pretty sure something will happen until the end of August. We might miss some targets but will end up with other players Eddie will make to be great. Instead of worrying about signing or missing out of some players I do rather wait on who we will play next season and what opportunities might arise to get a ticket. I am more pissed off with some random foreign fans getting to take part in adverts considering the pain I suffered for three decades. All will be well. Or not. I will still die having seen Newcastle lifting a cup. I am happy, I enjoy supporting Newcastle. Something that was difficult for quite a long time.

He will be safe enough if he draws a picket line and stays behind it

Following our unexpected outage the other day, and a few people saying they didn't know where to look for updates I thought I ought to update the OP here with where you can check if the board isn't working. Status Updates; For quick updates on what is happening check the patreon, you do not need to be a patron to see these posts; https://www.patreon.com/ToontasticNet Backup board; Discord, we're keeping this private so no invite link will be posted publicly, if you want access to this then DM any of the mods and we'll send the invite like directly to you. See Rayvins post here; Original Post; Sorry about that chaps, it seems some of our config got itself in a mess of its own accord and stuffed the board up for a while there! The folks who host our servers were very helpful and we're back online. I can't promise this won't happen again as I essentially had to restore the config from a week old backup but if it does I am much better equipped now to deal with it much more quickly. As you were.

It's like Beetlejuice but worse.

We’re 4th. Heaton Stan are safe. We’ve already won a cup. The kids and my lass are away to Euro Disney with my parents while I babysit the dogs. I’ve just made a batch of madras. I’m off work tomorrow. I’m mildly tobleroned and enjoying a negroni. Chillax, lads. CL is almost in the bag and even if it’s not it’s still been the best season of my entire life whatever happens.

And while I’m on a roll, a special mention for Kieron Trippier. He joined us from a CL contender when we were in danger of relegation and was one of the key players in dragging us to safety and CL qualification. He may be past his best now but was fantastic today. If he leaves in the summer then at least he can do it with a winner’s medal. It was nice to see him going up to lift the trophy with Bruno but the fact that the both of them making sure that Lascelles made his way up to lift it with them just speaks volumes about the squad we have and the camaraderie that Eddie and Mad Dog have instilled. Legends, every one of them.

It's not JUST winning a fucking trophy, it's turning over fucking Liverpool to do it. That is exactly what we needed to actually kick on a level and Howe and the lads fucking did it. I know I came out beforehand and said I thought we could win but honestly it was the most slender of hopes. Eddie Howe, for me, is now a club legend. Along with half that fucking team. Winning that might even keep the likes of Isak around in the summer, it proves we actually can succeed. FFS it's huge. So proud of the club. And as I've seen a few people on here say now - I love all of you. Wouldn't be the same to enjoy these moments without you all. Cheers lads, and congrats.

A day out at the stadeyem of Light.

I'd missed this having leapt out of my chair to do a round around the house :

What a game or two halves that was. Absolutely bossed it first half against 11 men. Looked nervous and sluggish second half, the performance feeding the anxiety in the crowd until the second goal. I had an, erm, interesting end to the match. I jumped up to celebrate the second goal, tripped over the seat in front of me then ended up sparking myself out as I landed head first on the concrete in the row below me. Ended up spending the final minutes of the game being checked for concussion by doctors.

Aye, nice to see them out enjoying themselves.

Coming soon to a movie theatre near you... An MLF production..... Inspired by real life events......

Got back from London about 1pm……and immediately watched the entire match on catch up Am still stunned and unable to properly process everything….think I’m happiest for Geoffrey who I mentioned the other day, he was at one of the PL games we played v spurs at Wembley (we lost both, obvs) so it was 8 games he’d been at without victory at Wembley…this is him at full time with his son Chris ☺️

I am at the airport waiting for my flight. It’s been a fantastic couple of days with the purest excitement I have ever experienced watching football. The joy of Germany winning tournaments doesn’t compare to what happened yesterday.

I’ve thought about nothing else on the drive home. That was the best game I’ve ever watched, for so many reasons. The performance was just legendary - intense, aggressive and intelligent, every man on that team knew exactly what their job was when in or out of possession, and every one of them executed it perfectly. First half in particular it was extraordinary to watch, our pressing was so aggressive that the Dippers didn’t know what had hit them. What was excellent to watch was in the few times they had possession and attempted to advance, our men snapped in to their defensive positions in a matter of seconds. I had a good feeling before the game, and by midway through the first half I was daring to think “we might actually do this”, and when Burn buried that header I went fucking mental. My emotions have never been so raw before and during a game as they were yesterday, and it all came out in a guttural mix of joy, relief and bit of grief. Second half, I felt that when Slot just started throwing forwards on, it was an acknowledgement that we had them beat. Howe was ice fucking cold, his tactics were clinical, and then training he’d put the lads through was evident. At the final whistle, I totally lost it- laughing, crying, roaring, smacking the roof and sides of my cab, I went nuts I read the BBC write-up, and the comments, and there was a good few neutrals being very magnanimous and complimentary, and the usual pricks saying “ It’s just the League Cup!” They totally missed the point- it wasn’t “just the League Cup”, it was years of disappointment, learning to temper expectations, seeing our club rise and fall and rise again and fall again, hearing the fucking lines “ it’s been “x” years since Newcastle won a trophy” trotted out by lazy commentators, envy watching tinpot fucking non-entities of clubs winning trophies, becoming almost used to being plucky losers. That final whistle pissed all that away in a split second- replaced by validation, relief, release, sheer, utter, joy! We aren’t the plucky losers anymore, that’s history, we’ve won, and won in a manner that will stay with me until the day I die. Every single member of that team, the coaches, medical staff, catering, all of them, have earned the right to call themselves local heroes, because they fucking are. Howe has pissed on the timeline again, I can not wait to see what the summer brings, and the seasons to follow. (I’m parked up at Ferrybridge just now, when I got out to go for a brew, as soon as I opened my door I heard what I thought was a load of our support, still shouting and bawling, and thought “ Get in, lads!” As I walked up the trucks park though, I realised it wasn’t. Two trucks, parked right in the middle of a row of wagons, with trailers full of cockerels crowing their fucking lungs out There was a Czech lad sat in his cab right next to them, clearly sleep-deprived, in his shorts, looking like an utterly defeated man, thousand yard stare, the lot

Sunderland lost, Heaton Stan won and I’m having a pint with Isegrim. The stars are aligning

"Stevie, mug righter, all knowing weight scale of all the fanbases, are you there? Give us a sign, wor kid."

We’ve got a better chance of winning the FA Cup than Liverpool have 👍🏻

6 years after we lost our infant girl inexplicably to SIDS, the missus and I welcomed a baby boy today. Absolutely elated and terrified in equal measure

Years ago when I was a filthy student I was studying Human Geography, and one module was about social deprivation. We read papers on the Brazilian favelas, South African and Jamaican shanty towns, but one particular paper u remember was on the effects of social deprivation on adolescent mental health and development. I remember it because it was done in sunderland, the authors choosing there because of the short age gap between generations giving them multiple generations of adolescents to study Anyway, I found the paper online, the funniest parts are in the conclusions, specifically on page 450 and 477, which directly answer your questions as to why they do this en masse https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32540024/

It’s Lewis Hall, CT.

You’ve got to feel for Alex Hurst though. He’d bargained on being an influencer who was given the inside track and delivering smugness about the behemoth that is Newcastle United. And now Staveley has fucked off and his rail tickets aren’t just standard class, he has to buy them too. And he’s just found out someone lied to him when they said the DLT look was cool. That’s before even mentioning spaniel chebs

Heard some ITK info last night. Two maybe three big deals are expected to be completed early next week. The club are just waiting on Andrew beginning the site maintenance

Smeeeagain. What colour socks do Bears wear? None cos they have bear feet. Fuck am still good

Hey lads Just had a message from one our fine members and I said something which I thought I’d share with you all. So.… One of the things I love most about here is that, even though we’re mostly total strangers to each other in real life, whenever one of us is suffering we come together like few places I’ve seen in t’interweb or real life. It’s my time to now be the recipient, and it really does mean so much to me, so thanks, each and every one of you. Even if you are a pack of twats

Meanwhile on a sad message board not too far away.

'2-0 to Forest at half time here at Molineux, Wolves fluffed their chances but Forest haven't. Jamie, what does Rubin Amorim have to do to get 'United®' firing on all cylinders again and how well has Slot done at Anfield since taking over?' ® Sky sports

After reading all of the stories on RTG about NUFC tops. I now have my own. I was up at Bamburgh yesterday with the family and I saw a young lad wearing a Sunderland top. I thought to myself, 'I haven't seen a Sunderland top in years' and continued to enjoy my day out.

Wey ah was stannin theyah marras minding me owin busin, bisi, bussn, meself just eating me mortadella, burrata & pistachio pesto ciabatta and drinkin me caffè ristretto and sum fat grayevy stained mag cunt started saying shite tiv is. After he finished filliming is a turned rund and windmilled the cunt. The captain of oowa flight was passing at the time and instantly upgraded is to first class.