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I only have one month left to finish my job at the high school where I've been a teacher for the past two years. Yesterday my students gave me a gift.

They never uttered a fucking peep when Abramovich was laundering Putin’s money through Chelsea. I think the odd one has basically mentioned they were scared of litigation. Which doesn’t really say much for their journalistic integrity but also begs the question as to why they never mention it now either, given how obvious the consequences of turning a blind eye to that and the other oligarchs was at the time. They all fucking went to the World Cup there after he’d already invaded Ukraine and annexed a large part of the country. Louise Taylor wrote a gushing article about Qatar and only admitted afterwards when she got found out that the Qatari government had paid for the trip. And most of all, if you claim to care about human rights abuses in Saudi but only bring it up in relation to NUFC then it’s plain as day what really bothers you. Go and fucking fuck yourselves, you hypocritical cunts

Gentlemen *tips hat* I’m putting today’s win down to the fact that we had an old skool catch up today. JawD kindly invited myself, Pud, Jill and Ritchie to the game. I also took that new baby that I had 5 minutes ago and gave him the day off his GCSE revision. There was lots of reminiscing and disbelief at how old we are. Anyway, beating that lot will always be amongst my happiest days and it was much needed today ❤️

Core memory made tonight. My 64 year old dad was my daughters age the last time we won a trophy

🤷🏻‍♂️

🎶 Working on the site Making up tales of shite That's mackems alright (That's mackems alright) Then copying wor flags Slagging off the mags That's mackems alright (That's mackems alright) Working all day For a pittance of pay Then blow it all on Saturday night And you tell tall tales But you don't know their names That's mackems alright. Working in the sun Drinking pop having fun That's mackems alright (That's mackems alright) Then a shite in the stand Spreadin' it around That's mackems alright (That's mackems alright) Fixed your seat all day For your owner you say? And sneak a cheese slice back to the wife Still you keep a little here To go with your free pint of beer That's mackems alright Yeah you play the game Then it's auf wiedersehen That's mackems alright (That's mackems alright) Telling the lie With a glint in your eye, 'Cause tomorrow you'll be back on the RTG site And you tell tall tales But you don't know their names That's mackems alright Yeah you play the game Then it's auf wiedersehen That's mackems alright (That's mackems alright) 🎵

I have had no media for almost a month. I am not a gambler but I found four unscratched lottery tickets. The third one I scratched, I fucking won $25,000. The Mrs. and myself have had quite the adventure since. We made our way back home last night. First we flew off to Vancouver and went to Whistler, British Columbia and spent two weeks on the mountain. Then flew to Kingston for four nights and then finished off in Nassau, Bahamas. From there we went to Seattle for a night and then rented a car and drove the complete highway 101. This morning I awoke, fired up the youtube and sat back and watched the match and parade. Unbelievable scenes! I am so proud of the club and the players. Absolute legends. I have the biggest smile I have had in a long time.

Just got back home. Spent the day in the centre circle section of Club Wembley before getting guest list for Limp Bizkit at Wembley Arena Its hard to put into words how mental that was & the feeling of seeing the players lift the trophy in black & white ribbons. Best day of my life. 🏆🥇

Apparently they're moaning about the ball being over the line again for our goal?

Some place full of Mags ✅ Help for heroes ✅ FTM ✅ Sunderland shirts ✅ Mag shirts ✅ 🎵 Is this the real life? Is this just parody? Caught in a leyague slide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the Mags and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Cos I'm not easy come, easy go Little high, very low Any way the crisp packet blows doesn't really matter to me (to me) Marra Just saw a mag Put a gun against my head, pulled my trigger Now I'm dead Marra, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Marra, oo-oo-oo Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters Too late, our time has come We've got no deycent spine, getting beytan all of the time Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the trewth Marra, oo-oo-oo (the wind blows) I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me Gary Rowell, Gary Rowell Gary Rowell, Gary Rowell ,Gary Rowell Fat Marco and Gary Bennoo oh-oh-oh I'm just a poor MLF nobody loves me He's just a MLF, even Bilbao dint want to know him Spare him his life from this monstrosity Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? Exile says! No, we will not let you go (Let him go!) Keyth says, We will not let you go (Let him go!) Lewk O'Nien says We will not let you go (Let me go) will not let you go (Let me go) never let you go (Let me go) (never) let you go (let me go) No, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh, marra mia, marra mia (marra mia, let me go) That Kyril kid has a devil put aside for me, for me For me So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye So you think you can give the black cats bar to the swine? Oh, kyril, can't do this to me, kyril Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here Oo-oo Oh, yeah, oh, yeah Nothing really matters, anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me Any way the crisp packets blows 🎶

Congrats lads and lasses if any club and city deserves a trophy it’s you guys best team won on the day fair play, enjoy the celebrations yous deserve it cheers

Someone must have told Kelly it waa fancy dress and he's gone Kim Jong Un. Classic Kelly.

The lads giving Gemmill a shout.

Start a thread then. Get it sorted.

Would you be willing to miss out on Kid Dynamite this season if it meant we could land Guehi?

"Which one of you is Simon Bird?" "Ah bucked ya ma, yi daft cunt" "Nah, seriously though. Eddie's canny ill at the minute like." "Got the clap from rifling Birdy's ma."

"Eight consecutive wins for Newcastle putting them up to fourth. Jamie, how close is Ruben Amorim to turning it around and getting 'United'© challenging for champions league football?"

"After much deliberation with my partners we didn't feel Newcastle would've added much value to the rich energy brand."

Following our unexpected outage the other day, and a few people saying they didn't know where to look for updates I thought I ought to update the OP here with where you can check if the board isn't working. Status Updates; For quick updates on what is happening check the patreon, you do not need to be a patron to see these posts; https://www.patreon.com/ToontasticNet Backup board; Discord, we're keeping this private so no invite link will be posted publicly, if you want access to this then DM any of the mods and we'll send the invite like directly to you. See Rayvins post here; Original Post; Sorry about that chaps, it seems some of our config got itself in a mess of its own accord and stuffed the board up for a while there! The folks who host our servers were very helpful and we're back online. I can't promise this won't happen again as I essentially had to restore the config from a week old backup but if it does I am much better equipped now to deal with it much more quickly. As you were.

We’re 4th. Heaton Stan are safe. We’ve already won a cup. The kids and my lass are away to Euro Disney with my parents while I babysit the dogs. I’ve just made a batch of madras. I’m off work tomorrow. I’m mildly tobleroned and enjoying a negroni. Chillax, lads. CL is almost in the bag and even if it’s not it’s still been the best season of my entire life whatever happens.

And while I’m on a roll, a special mention for Kieron Trippier. He joined us from a CL contender when we were in danger of relegation and was one of the key players in dragging us to safety and CL qualification. He may be past his best now but was fantastic today. If he leaves in the summer then at least he can do it with a winner’s medal. It was nice to see him going up to lift the trophy with Bruno but the fact that the both of them making sure that Lascelles made his way up to lift it with them just speaks volumes about the squad we have and the camaraderie that Eddie and Mad Dog have instilled. Legends, every one of them.

It's not JUST winning a fucking trophy, it's turning over fucking Liverpool to do it. That is exactly what we needed to actually kick on a level and Howe and the lads fucking did it. I know I came out beforehand and said I thought we could win but honestly it was the most slender of hopes. Eddie Howe, for me, is now a club legend. Along with half that fucking team. Winning that might even keep the likes of Isak around in the summer, it proves we actually can succeed. FFS it's huge. So proud of the club. And as I've seen a few people on here say now - I love all of you. Wouldn't be the same to enjoy these moments without you all. Cheers lads, and congrats.

A day out at the stadeyem of Light.

I'd missed this having leapt out of my chair to do a round around the house :

Aye, nice to see them out enjoying themselves.

Coming soon to a movie theatre near you... An MLF production..... Inspired by real life events......

Got back from London about 1pm……and immediately watched the entire match on catch up Am still stunned and unable to properly process everything….think I’m happiest for Geoffrey who I mentioned the other day, he was at one of the PL games we played v spurs at Wembley (we lost both, obvs) so it was 8 games he’d been at without victory at Wembley…this is him at full time with his son Chris ☺️

I am at the airport waiting for my flight. It’s been a fantastic couple of days with the purest excitement I have ever experienced watching football. The joy of Germany winning tournaments doesn’t compare to what happened yesterday.

I’ve thought about nothing else on the drive home. That was the best game I’ve ever watched, for so many reasons. The performance was just legendary - intense, aggressive and intelligent, every man on that team knew exactly what their job was when in or out of possession, and every one of them executed it perfectly. First half in particular it was extraordinary to watch, our pressing was so aggressive that the Dippers didn’t know what had hit them. What was excellent to watch was in the few times they had possession and attempted to advance, our men snapped in to their defensive positions in a matter of seconds. I had a good feeling before the game, and by midway through the first half I was daring to think “we might actually do this”, and when Burn buried that header I went fucking mental. My emotions have never been so raw before and during a game as they were yesterday, and it all came out in a guttural mix of joy, relief and bit of grief. Second half, I felt that when Slot just started throwing forwards on, it was an acknowledgement that we had them beat. Howe was ice fucking cold, his tactics were clinical, and then training he’d put the lads through was evident. At the final whistle, I totally lost it- laughing, crying, roaring, smacking the roof and sides of my cab, I went nuts I read the BBC write-up, and the comments, and there was a good few neutrals being very magnanimous and complimentary, and the usual pricks saying “ It’s just the League Cup!” They totally missed the point- it wasn’t “just the League Cup”, it was years of disappointment, learning to temper expectations, seeing our club rise and fall and rise again and fall again, hearing the fucking lines “ it’s been “x” years since Newcastle won a trophy” trotted out by lazy commentators, envy watching tinpot fucking non-entities of clubs winning trophies, becoming almost used to being plucky losers. That final whistle pissed all that away in a split second- replaced by validation, relief, release, sheer, utter, joy! We aren’t the plucky losers anymore, that’s history, we’ve won, and won in a manner that will stay with me until the day I die. Every single member of that team, the coaches, medical staff, catering, all of them, have earned the right to call themselves local heroes, because they fucking are. Howe has pissed on the timeline again, I can not wait to see what the summer brings, and the seasons to follow. (I’m parked up at Ferrybridge just now, when I got out to go for a brew, as soon as I opened my door I heard what I thought was a load of our support, still shouting and bawling, and thought “ Get in, lads!” As I walked up the trucks park though, I realised it wasn’t. Two trucks, parked right in the middle of a row of wagons, with trailers full of cockerels crowing their fucking lungs out There was a Czech lad sat in his cab right next to them, clearly sleep-deprived, in his shorts, looking like an utterly defeated man, thousand yard stare, the lot

Sunderland lost, Heaton Stan won and I’m having a pint with Isegrim. The stars are aligning

"Stevie, mug righter, all knowing weight scale of all the fanbases, are you there? Give us a sign, wor kid."

We’ve got a better chance of winning the FA Cup than Liverpool have 👍🏻

6 years after we lost our infant girl inexplicably to SIDS, the missus and I welcomed a baby boy today. Absolutely elated and terrified in equal measure

Years ago when I was a filthy student I was studying Human Geography, and one module was about social deprivation. We read papers on the Brazilian favelas, South African and Jamaican shanty towns, but one particular paper u remember was on the effects of social deprivation on adolescent mental health and development. I remember it because it was done in sunderland, the authors choosing there because of the short age gap between generations giving them multiple generations of adolescents to study Anyway, I found the paper online, the funniest parts are in the conclusions, specifically on page 450 and 477, which directly answer your questions as to why they do this en masse https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32540024/

It’s Lewis Hall, CT.

You’ve got to feel for Alex Hurst though. He’d bargained on being an influencer who was given the inside track and delivering smugness about the behemoth that is Newcastle United. And now Staveley has fucked off and his rail tickets aren’t just standard class, he has to buy them too. And he’s just found out someone lied to him when they said the DLT look was cool. That’s before even mentioning spaniel chebs

Congratulations guys and gals well deserved football isn't just about winning, it's a bout the joy of going to the game with friends and family but bloody hell, on days like that the winning doesn't half make up for the pain of losing hope you all enjoyed every single second of it. i was driving from manchester to london with my daughter after going home for the brighton game. had it on in the car. i'm absolutely made up for big dan burn. always liked the lad. a monster of player but seems like a diamond geezer. the fact it was liverpool makes it all the sweeter. hmm did you knock us out? did we lose to the winners? i'd take that too. made up for you all.

It’s going to take a while to sink in but we’ve actually fucking won something. I know the manager made changes like the hotel but this team compared to two years ago was night and day. We turned up today without emotion, it was a team of killers out there to win. Not a single player let themselves down today, they worked their balls off for each other. Absolutely delighted to see Dan Burn score the opener, a man who embodies what our club is and for me Joelinton was MotM. I just feel sorry for the rest of you cunts who don’t have a bank holiday tomorrow to sleep off the hangover.

The sun will be high in the sky, radiating off the top of Slot's massive dome shining a concentration of light onto Salah's weave setting it alight in a blaze of black smoke and toxic fumes. In a panic Salah will sprint into the stands grabbing what he believes is a bottle of Evian from a Geordie supporter in the crowd. He will mistakenly pour the bottle over his flaming hair plugs and will realise too late that the clear liquid inside the bottle is moonshine snuck in to avoid the £20 pints in Wembley. With his entire top half aflame, Salah will recall that the fire brigade used to visit his school and remember the stop, drop and roll technique. Rolling about, screaming as he does this. Allison sees the commotion and sprints over to Salah, palming at the flames with his shovel hands. However, his gloves are highly flammable and combust on contact with Salah. Now both players, engulfed in flame, are put out with a fire extinguisher by "Trent", who is immediately shown a red card for using the black label extinguisher instead of the foam extinguisher like a fucking idiot. With all players off the field the game commences, whereby Newcastle United dominate.....and still lose 2-0.

A-RAM-Co?

Twitter being a fucking hellscape isn't news, but the weird reaction to the reaction of Almiron's transfer is fucking awful. People rightly, imo, wishing him well and looking back on his time fondly. Straight away you've got edgelord cunts calling him shit and being delighted to see the back of him. The lad worked his bollocks off every time he pulled on the shirt, he never complained (to my knowledge), always played with a smile on his face. It's not like he's been sat on his arse, picking up a massive wage while acting the cunt. Don't understand the opprobrium.

'2-0 to Forest at half time here at Molineux, Wolves fluffed their chances but Forest haven't. Jamie, what does Rubin Amorim have to do to get 'United®' firing on all cylinders again and how well has Slot done at Anfield since taking over?' ® Sky sports

This shows how corrupt PSR is. How are we struggling to pay an extra £5m, with Saudi money backing us, for a defender yet a newly promoted team can spend £150m+ on an elite player?

I’m a married man, the wedding was class if a bit too quick. We got really lucky with the weather (see I sweated my tits off). Little break in Venice for honeymoon, which was amazing. Highly recommended if you’ve never been. Throat felt a bit sore on the flight on the way home, chest infection. Coughing up all sorts of muck, feel pure shite. Welcome back to normal life I suppose.

Cataclysmically bad take that