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Knopfler went to school in Gosforth, which was historically in County Durham.

The singing Detective is actually being remade for the 2020s....

I'm having to make a fucking piss diary this week btw, before going in to the hospital on Friday to piss into a special toilet to see how fast I can do it. It's a total waste of time as well cos this is for the poor cunts who are up in the night and who drink 1 litre and piss it out in 10 x 100ml trips to the bogs. I'm not remotely experiencing those symptoms but apparently a urology referral at 49 comes with this hurdle. Anyway it's nice to have to write down the volume of every drink you have for a few days and then piss into a jug before tipping it into the toilet. Keeps you honest.

Stores it in his knees

I AM PISSING MY PANTS ITS OFFICIAL

All I'll say on the matter is that there was people wondering why the west didn't show as much solidarity with the Palestinians as they did with Ukraine? In the early days there were more Ukrainian flags on view, because of weariness or helplessness there now isn't as many on view but I saw more Ukrainian flags than I have Palestinian flags. (This is in real life in Newcastle, I didn't see any Palestinian flags at all). I understand that London is not Newcastle and on-line you're now seeing what looks like a mass recreation of the camp commandant in Schindler's list just taking potshots of people trying to survive which is the sickest irony going. I just wish every cunt participating would stop and the people responsible for this misery around the world could just slither back under their rocks or take one for team evil and just croak it whatever their colours are. Murder is murder and there's just too much of it going on across the globe lead by cunts who should be in the Hague. I genuinely couldn't give a fuck what religion a murderer is, I'm sure the lawyers at Nuremberg didn't either? I'd also say if the cap fits, wear it, if it doesn't, don't. I don't think for one second every Russian, Israeli, Palestinian, American are murderers or wrong'uns just like every Irishman wasn't during the troubles but I do understand the slight paranoia.

Whatever way you look at it, it's a piss poor start to summer proceedings. Very insipid. It's difficult to pin down who's to blame but there appears to be failures on multiple fronts. - Mitchell appears to have been a horseshit hire. Done nothing but stir amongst key personnel at the club and lambast the very successful transfers done previously. Yes, perhaps under PSR we do need to shop differently than buying expensive premier league talent but how often do we actually do that? Sales were minimal because our players weren't of a standard others would pay top or moderate £ for. - We've been led to believe that the lack of investment in 3 windows and selling Almiron & Kelly halfway through the season, would benefit immediate and future windows. Hardly hit the ground running, pre season starts next week & Eddie explicitly stated his desire to do transfer business early. Brunos post match wording appeared to back up the necessity for new players & it felt like a great show of defiance against Mitchell (who fucked off swiftly after) and a reminder to the board. We don't seem to have acted on that. - If we are constrained by PSR, then focus on a few acquisitions rather than trying to low ball clubs, to hit an accumulative figure that means you get everything you want. Buy what you can without the piss being taken out of you and shop again in the next window. Constant refreshment of the side is a vital show of ambition and positive for team morale & standards. Alternately, shop for a mix of ready made players and lower value ones in Europe and take a punt. Yes we need to get most things right & we have to date but it feels we're at an impasse now. - The fact we haven't replaced Eales yet is a joke. There seems to be a lack of management at the top & decision makers aren't making decisions. - Communication across the board has been awful for a good while now on multiple fronts and that supports the previous, doesn't feel like there are decision makers at the club or, not all are pulling in the same direction. This time of the year is meant to be enjoyed. Just won a trophy, qualified for the champions league again, we have players who every other club wants & we on paper, have excellent backers with material growth opportunities evident. We also have the best manager I think we've ever had. Expecting him to perform miracles is totally unfair & I think if he's not backed & we don't see material growth, he and or players will want out. He's a clever operator and playing small bits out in public to swing power in his direction but surely this is pissing him right off? I'm hoping we pull a few signings out the bag in the coming weeks. Ones not linked to in the press (as has been the case in the past) and hopefully they get us excited. If not, massive opportunity missed & a big uphill climb this season. Also, fucking sign Trafford for fuck sake. It's getting tedious.

"I speak mackem very well. I learn it from a bewk."

Paddy McGuinness plays Dracula, or Ralph Malph's great grandson. That's the pool we're fishing in.

Prokofiev was brought up in Hetton-le-Hole

I know we have hardly come roaring out the blocks but the window only opened 16th June and is open till 1st Sept. It was also widely reported we were waiting for some PSR shite to change on the 1st of July, which was literally yesterday.

Yep!

If you want to feel some love and support for the Israeli people then take a trip over to NI and I’ll take you round some loyalist areas where you’ll see plenty of Israeli flags flying. And obviously it’s because of a deep rooted love for the country of Israel and not just because nationalists support the Palestinians.

Please don’t stop. Without wishing to put words in people’s mouths, I’d hope everyone on here would be similar to me and would feel terrible about it if you no longer felt able to or wanted to express your views about this on here. I tend to keep out of this but not because of a lack of interest or caring, more a sense hopelessness about the whole situation. On the point of Ukraine as opposed to Palestine then I suppose the main difference in perception is Ukraine being able to defend itself and countries like ours helping them to do so. With Palestine then at best we’re doing nothing and at worst we’re fully complicit (or somewhere in between). It’s highly unlikely any UK PM would or could’ve felt they could act differently but it’s still a marked difference in the stance towards the two conflicts. On the other side I think it must be incredibly difficult to be (for want of a better term) ‘openly Jewish’ and express yourself without fear of being attacked. Either literally or in a figurative sense online and so on. I can’t really imagine what that is like. It’s probably always been a bit like that but it must be so much worse now. I doubt it’s as bad for people with Russian heritage living in the UK even. Although I’m sure that can’t be easy at times either.

Do they even still make that drink.

Keyth: "Alright marras, I'm Keyth, FTM?" Everyone: "Alright Keyth, FTM" Keyth: "I like to make unbelievable yet still somehow dull stories up about the mags anaarl..... God it feyls grayat getting it off me chest." Chair Marra: "dinna worry about it Keyth, wa'al bullshitters ere at massive lads fans and massive tales anonymous, like."

The Tories have come out and said that saying it is a personal matter doesn't cut it and we need to know what it is. Which is genuinely appalling. As shit as Labour are, that lot are nasty cunts.

Ralph Malph

i knew some pedant would pick me up in this, which is why i googled it before choosing an animal. so sit on that and swivel Camels are often cited as the animals that can drink the most water at one time, potentially consuming over 30 gallons in just a few minutes.

Apart from the obvious pisstaking and ripping their arguments to shreds, I quite liked Republica's 'ready to go' but after Sunderland hijacked it for one of their run out songs..... I still do. The fucking mental bastards. I'm going to write a FURIOUS letter to the group from county Durham's famous Windsor, Berkshire estate and ask them if they're happy with their association with the club?

Mitchell leaving has denied us our Hot Mitch Summer. That's what I'm taking from all this.

I’m happy to judge the window at the end. But it’s undeniably an uninspiring and all too familiar first month or so. I think the club need to learn that we’re not going to progress financially (and therefore on the pitch) by penny pinching on transfers to preserve PSR headroom. The PSR wiggle room needs to be generated by revenue growth and quite frankly taking the piss on the rules like Chelsea and now Villa are doing. Playing with kid gloves like we’ve been doing is incredibly naive. The other PL clubs are the enemy. The sooner the club take that approach and stop playing nice the better.

We’re surely not going through another window without backing Eddie, are we? He absolutely deserves to be backed this summer. There are no longer any excuses to not spend money. We’re about to go into a champions league season. There is extra revenue coming because of that. We shifted Miggy, Minteh, Anderson and Kelly for decent money in recent windows with few coming in the other way. I understand PSR remains a headache but there must be money to spend. Howe can’t be expected to work miracles again with a threadbare squad and all the extra fixtures in the new season. For that reason I’m not worried yet. I expect us to spend a bit of cash eventually. It would be a travesty if we don’t. It must be annoying for Howe however to see other clubs getting their business done early, which is exactly what he asked the owners to do this time. I agree with Craig that some of our supporters on social media are getting hysterical - it’s still early in the window. I suppose my main worry is if he starts to lose patience. His stock has never been higher and he would have no problems getting a job somewhere else if he concludes he isn’t getting the support he needs. Howe is the golden goose - I hope the owners realise this

When you said piss diary I thought you meant for the Transfers thread.

Meanwhile, this lad is upset that Going Home is our theme tune, maybe someone should let Mark Knopfler know it's used? Oh. Also maybe someone should contact Elvis yo see if he's okay with them using "Wise men say" [sic]?

Welcomeback, Muto.

Wish you would of predicted it

Jeez this thread was created prior to the creation of my club!

HMHM aged 12 talking to his mates in the '80s: "Naah man am not supporting the IRA man, a had a dream last night and am supporting our future Saudi overlords".

Interesting mind, I'd say around where I live there were a lot more Ukrainian flags displaying solidarity for the country than Palestinian flags. Admittedly these have decreased markedly due to war fatigue. When I see either I never think about it from the angle of hating Russia or Israel or it people. I believe usually its to express a genuine sentiment for the wars to stop. Edit: posted just after HMHM's post. I think he's spot on.

Hope it gets sorted PL, sounds fucking awfull. On the bright side, it did remind me of Joanne Whalley in her prime.

Criticism of Israel does not equal antisemitism. Chanting death of the IDF isn’t antisemitism. Chanting death to the IDF is however most likely a crime in this country but not antisemitic. It is probably wrong and I did think of the likes of Gloom’s conscripted family when I read about it. Bibi seems to liken any criticism of the Israeli government’s actions to antisemitism and it couldn’t be further from the truth but it has worked for him. The likes of Bob Vylan and Kneecap know they aren’t making a difference by making a stand but it keeps it in the public eye when the UK government appears to be doing fuck all about it.

that is a total fucking stupid, pointless lie. What a set of dickheads they are, they're like their own support group. They're all lying, they all know they're lying, but it's making them feel better about thenselves so no one's prepared to produce the pin and burst the bubble. Proper sad sacks.

oy @Craig.... the number of people who need to have a long hard look at how they're conducting themselves appears to be growing daily.

Somewhere in Guantanamo Bay: American CIA director: "Ok guys, I want to know what the heck is going on here? This dude has been in for questioning for 12 days now and is living his best life and hasn't broke yet, what gives?" CIA Agent: "I'm not sure, sir, we started on the water boarding then kept increasing the time under water and then just started pouring it straight down his throat but he only thanks us for it and only gets uncomfortable when we stop."

We've missed out on Delap and Pedro and we're still miles apart on a valuation for the lad we've already agreed personal terms with. We're currently miles away from what Forest want for Elanga, and Guehi looks to be off to Liverpool. And pre season starts on Monday. Even if it's true that we had to wait til 1st July for money to go out the door, we could have had deals set up to drop on 1st July, but that hasn't happened. It's clearly not going very well.

So, about 80% of what you got in prize money for the Premier League final position? That is fucking batshit. ~£40m for playing against Wydad Casablanca (finished 3rd in the Moroccan league), Al Ain (5th in the UAE Pro League), Juventus (4th in Serie A), and Al Hilal (2nd in the Saudi League)? Going off transfermarkt, just with that windfall, you could buy Wydad Casablanca's squad and still have enough left over to get a 6 bed Georgian in Belgravia. It's just ridiculous.

Aye, the rule in this thread should be just to spill what's going on, and don't take the piss too much when people do. Better that people are talking about stuff and getting things checked out.

Wykiki looks to have started his today. Sounds like he'll need two jugs.

Talking of Wilson did his contract not supposedly end on Monday? And yet no “thanks Callum” from the club. Like a new signing etc

It is the band.

It’s probably similar, actually. I got chatting to a young Russian kid at a dnb night a few months back. Really nice lad who moved to London because of his love of the music. I got chatting to him in the smoking area about background etc and he reluctantly revealed he was Russian. Prior to that he asked me to guess where he was from, I guessed Eastern Europe before he explained that sometimes people are put off because of his background, which I found really sad. As if he’s in anyway responsible for what is happening back home. I suppose I feel the same when people chant “death to the IDF”. There are plenty of innocent kids in the IDF, who would rather not be following orders

it is. however... nobody loves a bit of richard masters bashing more than me, I despise the cunt but fail to see how he or his organisation is currently responsible for our inability to sign any fucker at all, not even a goalkeeper we by all accounts had in the bag up to a year ago, without quibbling over a few quid. very reminiscent of summer '24 but with less money involved. it's fucking pitiful.

Look closely

RTG have an “Airport Mags” thread This comment got me thinking…….the barman knew he was a Mackem cos he asked for a blue pop, cheese slice & was fingering his sister whilst jangling his keys