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I only have one month left to finish my job at the high school where I've been a teacher for the past two years. Yesterday my students gave me a gift.

Gentlemen *tips hat* I’m putting today’s win down to the fact that we had an old skool catch up today. JawD kindly invited myself, Pud, Jill and Ritchie to the game. I also took that new baby that I had 5 minutes ago and gave him the day off his GCSE revision. There was lots of reminiscing and disbelief at how old we are. Anyway, beating that lot will always be amongst my happiest days and it was much needed today ❤️

I have had no media for almost a month. I am not a gambler but I found four unscratched lottery tickets. The third one I scratched, I fucking won $25,000. The Mrs. and myself have had quite the adventure since. We made our way back home last night. First we flew off to Vancouver and went to Whistler, British Columbia and spent two weeks on the mountain. Then flew to Kingston for four nights and then finished off in Nassau, Bahamas. From there we went to Seattle for a night and then rented a car and drove the complete highway 101. This morning I awoke, fired up the youtube and sat back and watched the match and parade. Unbelievable scenes! I am so proud of the club and the players. Absolute legends. I have the biggest smile I have had in a long time.

"Which one of you is Simon Bird?" "Ah bucked ya ma, yi daft cunt" "Nah, seriously though. Eddie's canny ill at the minute like." "Got the clap from rifling Birdy's ma."

Following our unexpected outage the other day, and a few people saying they didn't know where to look for updates I thought I ought to update the OP here with where you can check if the board isn't working. Status Updates; For quick updates on what is happening check the patreon, you do not need to be a patron to see these posts; https://www.patreon.com/ToontasticNet Backup board; Discord, we're keeping this private so no invite link will be posted publicly, if you want access to this then DM any of the mods and we'll send the invite like directly to you. See Rayvins post here; Original Post; Sorry about that chaps, it seems some of our config got itself in a mess of its own accord and stuffed the board up for a while there! The folks who host our servers were very helpful and we're back online. I can't promise this won't happen again as I essentially had to restore the config from a week old backup but if it does I am much better equipped now to deal with it much more quickly. As you were.

We’re 4th. Heaton Stan are safe. We’ve already won a cup. The kids and my lass are away to Euro Disney with my parents while I babysit the dogs. I’ve just made a batch of madras. I’m off work tomorrow. I’m mildly tobleroned and enjoying a negroni. Chillax, lads. CL is almost in the bag and even if it’s not it’s still been the best season of my entire life whatever happens.

5-0 xg.... we should've lost. what sort of profoundly stupid thundercunts take this shite seriously man?

Hell on. Obviously.

Smeeeagain. What colour socks do Bears wear? None cos they have bear feet. Fuck am still good

Mak'em here. No rivalry bollox on this. Get well soon Eddie.

Bristol fans singing “dont you know pump it up, united won the cup” at the mackems fewm

what the fuck's this cunt on about??

It's the blood money we are paying to the other teams to throw the games marra

Well unlike @ohhh_yeah I haven’t won a fortune and been jetting off around the world ….congratulations by the way, great stuff. But I managed to jettison my phone into fuckin orbit and shatter the fucker, and then the pain in the arse of forgetting my password! ….and due to low funds because of serious liver abuse (said liver being on its arse) because of celebrating like a bastid lunatic for what seems like months, a health worker mate of mine wondering how I’m still alive …but here I am, albeit a dribbling idiot and today has only added to that …..HTFL You beautiful black and white bastards

I am just glad they took off Barnes at half time.

Ewerk:

"That's a lot of imagines there, la."

I celebrated my 50th, 60th, 70th and 80th birthday in the last 15 minutes.

Have you tried to fight fire with fire and started to talk about xG back to him?

Back in the saddle.

leeds premier league highlights 25/26

Oooooeeee a prediction from Dougie. Absolutely BESIDE MYSELF to see how this one works out.

Glad your old man’s home and recovering Chaser. I’m usually 100% pro NHS , but I’ve got to say that in my experience Renal nurses absolutely take the piss out of their patients.

It’s more than that. We can’t have anything like the standard of living we have in this country if we cut ourselves off from and boycott goods from places like China. Who are easily equally bad from a human rights pov, whilst presenting much more of an existential threat and having what essentially amounts to ambitions of world wide domination. Their tech was probably made there. The minerals inside it were probably mined using an African workforce who earn next to fuck all and shorten their lifespan considerably doing so. So I guess any sensible person realises we live in a global economy where we are the winners in many ways. And any stance you take about one single thing just makes you a hypocrite about practically everything else when it comes to things like this. But no, we’re supposed to go along with everything else but football club ownership is beyond the pale? And it’s really driven because they’re pissed off it’s NUFC crashing the party. With its fiercely loyal supporters who deserve a patronising pat on the head (but we can’t have them actually winning things!) They built that whole article about one daft cunt who gave it to the man by listening to the cup final on the radio instead of watching it on fucking free to air telly. He really showed them. I hope we keep winning stuff and it keeps boiling their piss. Which it especially will if it’s to the detriment of their beloved chosen ‘big clubs’.

Just like everyone else in Liverpool then.

In every other strand of the multiverse Steve Bruce is just a bloke with a big kite who never made it as a footballer, who spends his days in the bookies in stained track b's and walks everywhere with a carrier bag in his hand. Goes to the bingo every night with Janice, but doesn't play, and just stares straight ahead of him with his mouth hanging open. We had to live in the one strand where he's a public figure.

Honestly think he’s a good to very good PL player. The stats don’t lie. There’s a couple of aspects to his game which prevent him from being absolutely top notch but his goal involvement and work rate make him one of our most important players. Fucking delighted for him

I think it’s a bit mental to be upset about coasting through the second half given practically everyone who follows us and has a bit of nouse thinks our squad is on the thin side. If we’d scored another 5 in the second half (unlikely) we’d only be 1 goal better off than Chelsea. Or half a point, if you think of it like that. Much better to play it safe in a match that’s already wrapped up and save the players for the remaining 8 games.

I love how you then come and post them on here.

Sweeeeet Arab hoop Saudis always taste so good

FYP

We went for a full family holiday with my wife’s side in wales once. So, me and her, her parents, her two brothers with partners and 3 kids. On the third day I snuck off for a beer on my own to read my book at the pub, after pandering to every cunt for a weekend. 15 minutes later they all turned up, cos they fancied a drink.. So I drove back to the holiday home on my own and had a beer and read my book.

In a stunning turn of credit he spent his last day on earth deliberately ignoring JD vance, sending a cardinal to meet him and lecture him on compassion instead. Then he died. Brilliant, top Poping right there.

The highlights are on the clubs youtube channel and watching them back I noticed two things about Isak. 1. He was SO annoyed with himself about the chances he missed but still gave props to the players who'd set them up 2. Despite the misses he still took his goal first time, at distance with absolute confidence. A lesser player would've taken touches, brought the ball further forward and risked losing the chance after the earlier misses. He's fucking brilliant.

Just stepped out the back of my house, in Forest Hall, and heard the unmistakable sound of “ Naaa na na na-na-na naaah Geordies!” coming from SJP. 7 miles away. Fucking glorious.

Howe has been holding Tindall back all this time.

I love this team man, what a bunch of lads. Of the countless wonderful things that have happened in the last 3 years making a habit of embarrassing Manyoooo is one of the top things on the list for me. Just another thing I never thought I'd see, as regular as this sort of result has become, I think Gemmill mentioned our record against the likes of these and other big games recently, I'm still pinching meself half the time and I hope that feeling never goes away because whats the point if you can't truly enjoy these days. It's the manner of these results as well, we've absolutley blown them away and we play the kind of football people love to see especially when the talk of the town is the boring sideways football lacking character prevalent these days. Even mainstream pundits are (begrdugingly I'm sure) openly admitting it now. Barnes sensational, what a weapon to have. The cup final performance seems to have just lifted him. Tino so impressive again, so happy to see his slight downturn in form was very temporary. And Tonali where do you even start? The goal, the energy and physicality, his movement to link play and cover the full pitch, the understanding of the game coupled with technical brilliance; it feels strange to say in a team with Isak, Bruno but he might really be our best overall player. Mental. There have been a number of outstanding performers this season; Isak, Hall, Burn probably the top for me alongside Tonali but he's been the gamechanger this season in terms of what's different in the squad from last year. Just another month of keeping this up, the final stretch to what already is our best season in 70 years but could get even better. Another day of spending an unholy amount of time on Youtube awaits.

Speaking of keepers….

I’m on a, really rather gentile and benign, facebook group about early retirement and this was just put up by the admin.