BastianSchweinsteiger

I hope you don't mind me asking, but I'm far too young to remember the disaster. What exactly did the Sun say about football fans?

Get in!! Get the fuck in!!! 2-1 COME ON MICKY SON!!!

Joaquin would be fantastic. Nobby isn't getting any younger and James Milner is still too inexperienced for the Premiership I believe.

So basically, Marco Polo wouldn't have made a single penny then?

The latter methinks One things for certain though - Newcastle couldn't buy a goal! Did you see what I did there Gemmill? Did you see?

5-0 Bramble to score with a disputed headed goal - Was it behind the line or wasn't it? N'Zogbia to score the next, a cracking drive from just outside the box at a slight angle. The third will then come from Shola Ameobi, his header bouncing off the bar before hitting the post and going in. Alan Shearer will then grab the fourth - A cross from Solano comes in, Ameobi shoots, Lehmann saves, Luque shoots, Lehmann saves, Shearer then nets the rebound for Newcastle, before going over to the fans and getting a playful punch on the face from Amdy Faye. The fifth and final goal will be grabbed by Boumsong, who will run gallantly through the Arsenal half and then lob Jens Lehmann from twenty yards out, running off to celebrate enthusiastically, sliding on the pitch with a roly-poly, with the other Newcastle players coming over to pile on him. Martin Tyler will then say, "Oh! Absolutely Glorious!", before Andy Gray signs off with. "If the Newcastle United performance was the cake, THIS is the icing!"

Just you then, Cockboy?

A sick side of me wanted thme to score so souness would get the sack

Is it possible to get one and do they reduce the price for these?

OK, Here's another kiddies! Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news, george. George Best: OK, let's have the bad news first. Doctor: You only have an hour to live. George: Oh, shit! What's the good news then? Doctor: It's happy hour!

A Vietnamese child approaches her mother and asks her, "Mother, I've heard that different countries like to decorate their houses with different things at Chirstmas- The British decorate their houses with lights and the French lay Wreath all around the house, but what are we going to do?", to which the mother replies.. "We're hanging Glitter." (Yeah, I know it's death by 'firing squad' for all you pedantics out there!)

I went on to the TPS Foot (French football channel) website today and it said that the game was on 1500, which would be 1400 here because of the time difference. So, I gans on the channel, nice and ready, cans in hand, and fucking Cagliari vs. Sampdoria is on. I'm fucking raging

How much do you think you could be earning if you gained a First Honours in Maths?

Has anyone here done university Maths in the UK? If so, what job did it lead to and are your earnings adequate do you feel?

I'm glad Pompey are in turmoil. It will teach Milan Mandaric to replace a proven manager such as Harry Redknapp with shite like Perrin.

Well, no problem for the Scots then

hahahahahaha Carl Serrant's nana once attended a funeral aimed at 'kick noel edmond out of football' whilst trevor mc donald was cleverly deceived by none other than dame edna's petit filous on a boating trip to Northern Botswana during which she molested Paul ferris, also known as Grant mitchell's doppleganger

Nina Nanaar on a newsreading broadcast whilst none other than Adrian Chiles' grandfather invades the premises and demands the release of a thousand arabic pensioners from Whitley Bay Ice Rink

As a half-Iranian, I think the Iranian people would be delighted if the US and Britian were to rid the country of these Mullahs, who clearly have an unwanted stranglehold on Iran. Speaking to most of my family over there, they would love it if Ayatollah Khamenei and those other dirty fuckers were eradicated all together.

Emre Parker Owen I can't believe none of you picked Emre. He was quality, and better than Parker in my opinion.

Newcastle United have lodged an official 5m Smackerooni bid for none other than Diego Forlan's nana's scarf. The bid comes amidst rumours that the local off-license has launched an official consortium represented by Ali Daei's uncles sweaty ankle juice to merge Newcastle United with Kidderminster Harriers. Supposedly, his friend, the late Pierre Van Emoticon has also supported the bid, along with Carl Serrant and Giovanni van shizen houzen