RlCO

That American Rugby game a few weeks ago didn't help like. No coincidence it's torn up in the exact places the teams scrimmage, the receivers run and where the touch line was.

Serves us right (and the media in particular) for taking the piss out of them when we played them. If I were Andorra right now I'd start kicking the ball into my own net for fun. Would be funny like. What have they got to lose?

Half time. Moment of the first half: Croatia have the ball in our half, not an England player within 10 yards, all motionless like rabbits in the headlights. Only start closing once the crowd booing became obvious. At least Ian Wright is speechless. Shearer's recommendation: clatter someone to get the crowd going. What the fcuk?

Jimmy. He's here all night.

It's become a farce. We can't counter attack because of the pitch, we can't go forward because of our keeper, we have the commentators saying "McLaren needs to consult Terry Venebles, where is he? P.S You might think the crowd are behind the team, we must stress that is the Croatians, they are having a party"

Russia just scored.

Even if we qualify, we should still get rid of McLaren. I just keep hearing his pre-match mantra "steely resolve" "steely resolve" daft cunt

These fuckers couldn't pass the doorstep challenge.

Take them all off and put the B-team on.

"Do you think Mclaren will change it now?" - Motty "I don't think he'll change it till half time" - Lawro "Mourinho would stick a striker on now wouldn't he" - Motty "So would a lot of other people" - Lawro

"England's fate is in the hands of Andorra" -have you ever heard anything so daft in your life?

"If England do lose, they are all but certain to crash out. Russia's final match is against group minnows Andorra - currently on a run of 29 successive Euro qualifying defeats - and a Russian victory will put them on 24 points, one ahead of a defeated England. An England draw coupled with a Russia win means both teams finish on 24 points. England will qualify because teams which finish level on points are divided according to their head-to-head record. England have the edge on goal difference after their 3-0 win at home in London was followed by a 2-1 defeat away in Moscow."

Someone help me out here, does anyone remember any England manager ever standing in the tunnel holding an umbrella during a game?

munch, munch, munch

0-2 If that wasn't offside I'll eat my own hat.

Spectators in row 1 must be 30 yards away from the goaline, that's shite that is. £100 a ticket for that!

Another amazing McLaren fuckup, put in an inexperienced keeper on a night that is difficult for keepers: Result: keeper mistake after 9 minutes. Ginger twat.

0-1 I think we're fucked, they were 10 men behind the ball at 0-0

Pitch has still got the gridiron markings on it.

great minds...

Our mascots look like right Doyles.

No coincidence the sportswear tycoons were in for Owen.

Carson can't remember Campbell Lescott can't remember Barry Cole Gerrard Lampard Wright Philips Crouch

Jump on a TGV to the Dam, they get BBC there.

Do they ban laptops/DVD players in hospitals? I think they relaxed the rules on mobiles recently?