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The Bad Taste Joke Thread....


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  • 2 weeks later...

Just after a woman gives birth to her baby, the doctor asks if she wants the good news or the bad news.

"The bad news, doctor", replies the mother.

"It's ginger", says the doctor

"So what's the good news?!"

"It's dead."

 

 

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Quasimodo hasn't had sex for a while so he pops down to the local brothel with his paycheck. When he gets there all the whores run away in fright as he is so ugly, so he starts to cry. The Madam comes up to him and says "Why are you crying?" "Its because I'm so ugly, no one will ever shag me. I only want a quick one I wouldn't be long and I'll pay double," The Madam takes pity on old Quasi & beckons the young 16 year old maid over from her hiding place. "You, with him, now," "Oh I couldn't he's too ugly," "Do it or I'll send you back to the poor house," The maid recluctantly agrees. Quasi takes her hand and dashes upstairs.

Soon all the clothes are off and he's hammering away, pulling all the best sex faces which of course doesn't look good on him. "I can't stand this," thinks the girl, "I'm going to puke," She tries closing her eyes but when she opens them again, there he is gurning away. Its too much, she loses her lunch in the most graphic way all over the pair of them just as he comes his custard.

"Oh my god!" says Quasi, "What the hell was that?"

"I'm sorry Quasi, cos you're so ugly I'm afraid I was sick," says the maid.

"Thank f**k for that," says Quasi, "I thought my hump had burst."

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dave a life long member of the BNP is in a major car crash. When he regains consciousness 3 days later the doctor says 'Dave i have some good news & bad news', you've had 2 pints of pakis blood and 2 pints of black blood, Dave screams 'what the fucks the good news?'

 

Your cock is six inches bigger and you're top of the housing list

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Ok, the set up for this one is what made it funny when my mate told me. He reckons he was at a fairly posh dinner in polite company, and there were a few people at the table who were new to the group. So everyone's telling polite, inoffensive jokes that aren't funny but are basically just ice-breakers, when one of the lads, in his infinite wisdom comes out with.

 

"What do you call the black Flintstones?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*a nervous silence descends on the table*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Niggers."

 

:unsure:

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It's racist and untimely so you have been warned :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the cumbria train driver was interviewed by the police as to his version of what caused the crash..

 

 

"muslims..."

 

what on the track?

 

 

"no on the embankment but i still got the fuckers..."

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  • 1 month later...

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful woman wave at

him and say hello.

 

He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her

from.So he says, "Do you know me?"

 

To which she replies,"I think you're the father of one of my kids."

 

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever

been unfaithful to

his wife and says,"My God, are you the stripper from my stag

party that I made love to on the pool table with all my pals

watching,while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

 

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's

math teacher."

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A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful woman wave at

him and say hello.

 

He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows her

from.So he says, "Do you know me?"

 

To which she replies,"I think you're the father of one of my kids."

 

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever

been unfaithful to

his wife and says,"My God, are you the stripper from my stag

party that I made love to on the pool table with all my pals

watching,while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???"

 

She looks into his eyes and calmly says, "No, I'm your son's

math teacher."

 

 

done it :crylaughin:

 

 

though it is funny

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Dave a life long member of the BNP is in a major car crash. When he regains consciousness 3 days later the doctor says 'Dave i have some good news & bad news', you've had 2 pints of pakis blood and 2 pints of black blood, Dave screams 'what the fucks the good news?'

 

Your cock is six inches bigger and you're top of the housing list

 

:crylaughin:

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Not really a joke and possibly not bad taste but at mine and the now wifes engagement do where all my family are in attendance my dad brings out a dessert and says "is anyone allergic to nuts". To which my mate replies "Our lass is she starts to coke when they are banging off her chin."

 

Me and my brother collapsed to our knees laughing with my mum going "what did he say??"

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  • 4 weeks later...

Young lass goes to the barbers with her dad, and stands near the chair, eating a cake while her dad gets his heed sharpened. The Barber smiles at her and says 'You'll get hair on your muffin, mind!' She says 'I know, I'll grow tits aswell, you dirty old bastard!'

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Courtesy of Popbitch:

 

A little girl is crying at the edge of a cliff. A man walks up to her and asks.

"Why are you crying?"

"My daddy was in a car and he just drove it

off the cliff," she sobs.

"There, there," says the man. "Where's mummy?"

"She was in the car, too", says the girl,

"There's no one left to look after me."

"Well", says the man, undoing his belt and

pulling down his trousers. "Looks like

it's not your lucky day".

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Courtesy of Popbitch:

 

A little girl is crying at the edge of a cliff. A man walks up to her and asks.

"Why are you crying?"

"My daddy was in a car and he just drove it

off the cliff," she sobs.

"There, there," says the man. "Where's mummy?"

"She was in the car, too", says the girl,

"There's no one left to look after me."

"Well", says the man, undoing his belt and

pulling down his trousers. "Looks like

it's not your lucky day".

 

:panic: Fucking hell.

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Linford Christie walks into a top class Golf Club, hoping to book a weekend stay. As he approaches the front desk, he notices the receptionist is getting a bit nervous. Just before he opens his mouth to speak, the receptionist says 'Look, sir, before you say anything, I'm really sorry, but we don't allow black people onto our course, there is another one 10 minutes down the road that will accomodate you though.'

 

Linford says 'But, don't you know who I am!? I'm Linford fucking Christie!'

 

Bloke says, 'Alright then, so it's 3 minutes down the road. Fuck off!'

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Courtesy of Popbitch:

 

A little girl is crying at the edge of a cliff. A man walks up to her and asks.

"Why are you crying?"

"My daddy was in a car and he just drove it

off the cliff," she sobs.

"There, there," says the man. "Where's mummy?"

"She was in the car, too", says the girl,

"There's no one left to look after me."

"Well", says the man, undoing his belt and

pulling down his trousers. "Looks like

it's not your lucky day".

 

 

Tht was one of the top 10 I think in "most offensive religious jokes ever" as "man" was substituted by "priest" :panic:

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What word starting with N and ending with R would you not want to call a black person?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Neighbour.

 

 

 

 

Worlds most offensive jokes.

 

Channel 4

 

Now.

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Some of these have already been posted, but enjoy none-the-less

 

---

 

What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Being able to use your legs.

 

 

---

 

What's funnier than a baby travelling 90 mph attached to a clothesline?

 

Stoppng it with a cricket bat

 

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how do you get goth down from a tree?

 

cut the rope

 

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What's special about an emo pizza?

 

It cuts itself

 

 

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What's the worst thing about sex with a 5 year old?

Getting blood all over your clown suit

 

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what has eight legs and makes women scream?

 

 

gang rape

 

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What do elephants use for tampons?

 

Sheep

 

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What do elephants use for vibrators?

 

Epileptics

 

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Did you hear that the Pakistani Cricket team have completely given up international cricket?

 

They are taking up bob sleighing instead!

 

 

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What's blue and doesn’t fit?

-A dead epileptic

 

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What did Stevie Wonder say when he was asked in an interview what it is like being blind?

 

'Sure is better than being Black'

 

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SMS Inbox - Thur 9th Sept 2004 19:21

S% Q{!T

 

/|Kd 4KKS? *&Re kj (owq safoq%5 #zs g'faga

J/sasa£ (dsffsS OKASS LQ @#E IAHlkj ~^£}

 

Sender: David Blunkett +442075554321

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