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Pissing On The Floor?

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He's the urinating equivalent of those laser-guided bombs that can be guided through a window or down an air vent from 5 miles away.

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The only thing smart about him is his tackle tbh.

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emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

 

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate ;))

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Now that is a bastard

:lol:;):blush:

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Well there's the old half a pint of piss and lager which me mate fell for

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Yeeeeurgh :lol:

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emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

 

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate ;))

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:lol:

 

Can't see it happening without a stott on like, and surely you can anticipate that.

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emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

 

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate :lol:)

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Can't say I have.

 

Should get 10 bonus points on "I Spy While Pissing" for that one.

 

Also, 5 points for managing to move a clip-on bog freshener more than quarter of the way round the bowl.

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Also, 5 points for managing to move a clip-on bog freshener more than quarter of the way round the bowl.

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:lol:

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emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

 

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate :blush:)

114342[/snapback]

 

:lol:

 

Can't see it happening without a stott on like, and surely you can anticipate that.

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He's got one of those little button mushroom sticky straight out jobs man. ;) He calls it his hernia.

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Come on then lads - let's have your stories of pissing where you shouldn't have done.  ;)

 

Mate of mine woke up in the night after being out on the piss, stumbled to the bathroom (or so he thought) only to have his mam turn the light on which woke him up properly and he realised he was watering the pot plant on the landing  :lol:

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I pissed in an old girlfriends laundry basket. We split up not much later :blush:

 

My brother pissed on my stereo :blush:

 

Insurance paid out still ;)

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emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

 

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate ;))

114342[/snapback]

 

Can't say I have.

 

Should get 10 bonus points on "I Spy While Pissing" for that one.

 

Also, 5 points for managing to move a clip-on bog freshener more than quarter of the way round the bowl.

114352[/snapback]

 

Noooooooo!!

 

You lot are fucking rank! :lol:

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emmmm has anyone else somehow (while sitting for a crap) managed to get the little fella pointing straight ahead and piss straight through the gap between the seat and porcelain?

 

It goes like a fountain straight ahead (allegedly, according to me mate :blush:)

114342[/snapback]

 

:lol:

 

Can't see it happening without a stott on like, and surely you can anticipate that.

114351[/snapback]

 

He's got one of those little button mushroom sticky straight out jobs man. ;) He calls it his hernia.

114354[/snapback]

 

;):blush:

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Domestic God tbh.

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Aye, now you've got a dishwasher :lol:

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:blush:

 

Jonny, you cheeky bastard! ;)

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It is nearly impossible to piss straight after sex, even worse after a night on the lash and you "forget" to clean it up and the girlfriend goes to use the toilet after you, really ruins the cuddling.

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It is nearly impossible to piss straight after sex, ...

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double streams, cant believe we havent mentioned them yet!

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:lol:;):blush:

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Noooooooo!!

 

You lot are fucking rank!  :lol:

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Them urinal cakes are a lark an all.

 

Although some places have that plastic thing over the plug- like the sort of thing that you had to put into the top of a spin dryer. Absolute splashback-based disaster when one of those is involved.

 

Unless you're Dead Eye Dan over there and can aim it through the eye of a needle.

 

New DVD coming out soon "Bend it like Gemmill" Advanced pissing techniques for those who want to wow the ladies.

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Noooooooo!!

 

You lot are fucking rank!   ;)

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New DVD coming out soon "Bend it like Gemmill" Advanced pissing techniques for those who want to wow the ladies.

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I think i am about to piss meself

:lol:;):blush:

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I tell you though between people have pissy floorboards, some with bad showering habits and others who do not wash their hands after going to the toilet we don't half have some "clatty" bastards on here... :lol:

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Friend of a friend was away on a stag weekend. There was a Hens weekend staying in the same hotel and this lad got lucky and ended up spending the night with some lass in her room.

 

At some time during the night, in his plastered state, he pissed all over the floor. Worse, in the throes of passion she had discarded her clothes onto the same part of the floor. Result: one piss-soaked pile of clothes.

 

When the lad woke up in the morning he realised what had gone on. The lass was still half asleep so quick-as-a-flash he offered to make her a cup of tea. Filled the kettle up from the sink and on his way to plug it in - whoops! - he's dropped it. "Oh no, its gone all over your clothes love!"

 

Quickly into his own clothes, makes his excuses and away from the scene of the crime :lol:;):blush:

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I tell you though between people have pissy floorboards, some with bad showering habits and others who do not wash their hands after going to the toilet we don't half have some "clatty" bastards on here... :lol:

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Good point. Which of you dirty puddle-makers doesn't wash your hands after a piss? You may as well own up now. Until you've hit rock bottom you can't start making improvements.

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My worst was last year at Uni, utterly rat arsed I pissed in the hole in a red post box on the street :lol: I was so ashamed the next morning, so if anyone had any piss smelling post from Sheffield that day then I apologise ;)

 

I occasionally miss the target but i'll always clean up. One of my flat mates always leaves shits in the bottom of the loo its absolutely minging.

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