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Pissing On The Floor?

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Friend of a friend was away on a stag weekend. There was a Hens weekend staying in the same hotel and this lad got lucky and ended up spending the night with some lass in her room.

 

At some time during the night, in his plastered state, he pissed all over the floor. Worse, in the throes of passion she had discarded her clothes onto the same part of the floor. Result: one piss-soaked pile of clothes.

 

When the lad woke up in the morning he realised what had gone on. The lass was still half asleep so quick-as-a-flash he offered to make her a cup of tea. Filled the kettle up from the sink and on his way to plug it in - whoops! - he's dropped it. "Oh no, its gone all over your clothes love!"

 

Quickly into his own clothes, makes his excuses and away from the scene of the crime  :lol:  ;)  :blush:

114369[/snapback]

 

Genius! ;) Apart from the bit where he pissed all over the floor, obviously. :blush:

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Noooooooo!!

 

You lot are fucking rank!  :lol:

114356[/snapback]

 

Them urinal cakes are a lark an all.

 

114364[/snapback]

 

Urinal cakes, the drunk pissers best mate. Nowt more satisfying than watching one of those things fall to bits under a shower of your own wee.

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Guest Toplass-101
It is nearly impossible to piss straight after sex, ...

114359[/snapback]

 

double streams, cant believe we havent mentioned them yet!

114362[/snapback]

eh ? :lol:

I think this thread is now strictly "man thing"

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Friend of a friend was away on a stag weekend. There was a Hens weekend staying in the same hotel and this lad got lucky and ended up spending the night with some lass in her room.

 

At some time during the night, in his plastered state, he pissed all over the floor. Worse, in the throes of passion she had discarded her clothes onto the same part of the floor. Result: one piss-soaked pile of clothes.

 

When the lad woke up in the morning he realised what had gone on. The lass was still half asleep so quick-as-a-flash he offered to make her a cup of tea. Filled the kettle up from the sink and on his way to plug it in - whoops! - he's dropped it. "Oh no, its gone all over your clothes love!"

 

Quickly into his own clothes, makes his excuses and away from the scene of the crime  :lol:  ;)  :blush:

114369[/snapback]

 

Brilliant ;)

 

My only contribution to the confessions is that I was bursting for a wee on the way home from a night out and the only suitable spot was in the middle of a built up roundabout (trees and shrubs for cover) on a very busy road in Manchester...

 

It was in Wythenshawe like, and that sort of thing is perfectly normal behaviour :blush::boogie:

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My worst was last year at Uni, utterly rat arsed I pissed in the hole in a red post box on the street :lol: I was so ashamed the next morning, so if anyone had any piss smelling post from Sheffield that day then I apologise ;)

 

I occasionally miss the target but i'll always clean up. One of my flat mates always leaves shits in the bottom of the loo its absolutely minging.

114371[/snapback]

 

I hate it when you can see the skids just creeping round the 'U'. Too far out of reach to give a wipe with the old bog brush but just close enough to put you off.

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It is nearly impossible to piss straight after sex, ...

114359[/snapback]

 

Not for Gemmil. He faces one way and pisses the other Ronaldinho style.

 

Always in control.

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another issue is that of flow.

 

when you first start slashing the flow is quite strong and you adjust your aim to compensate.

 

however - at the end of a slash the flow becomes much weaker and therefore it can be difficult to maintain an accurate vector into the lavvy.

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Nowt worse as well when you've had a few and for some reason the shake factor just hasn't been maximed and you feel that little dribble left in just as your putting the snake back in the grass

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It is nearly impossible to piss straight after sex, ...

114359[/snapback]

 

Not for Gemmil. He faces one way and pisses the other Ronaldinho style.

 

Always in control.

114378[/snapback]

 

:lol:

 

First learned that one when I was 8.

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My worst was last year at Uni, utterly rat arsed I pissed in the hole in a red post box on the street :lol: I was so ashamed the next morning, so if anyone had any piss smelling post from Sheffield that day then I apologise ;)

 

I occasionally miss the target but i'll always clean up. One of my flat mates always leaves shits in the bottom of the loo its absolutely minging.

114371[/snapback]

Guy I know was visiting his brother at uni (Newcastle as a matter of fact ) and after a night on the piss wakes up still drunk and proceded to urinate on the electrical heater. Could name one this past summer who had a thing for taking a piss off the side of the porch after dark instead of walking upstairs to the loo...no horrific tales involving myself on this matter tho.

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:blush:

This thread is certainly developing a golden hue.

 

Much like Matt's floorboards.

114384[/snapback]

:lol:;)

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Have always thought must be awful for you men if you dribble after a pee and it shows on your jeans/trousers  :blush:  ;)

114390[/snapback]

 

They should dab the end with a bit of loo roll tbh :lol:

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Have always thought must be awful for you men if you dribble after a pee and it shows on your jeans/trousers  ;)  :lol:

114390[/snapback]

 

That's why the after-show party that is wringing is utterly essential.

 

Some lads take it too far. There's a dividing line between 'getting rid of the drips' and 'bashing the bishop'

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I am not proud of this:

 

I was in a bar in Bilbao once with colleagues on the piss. I was skull-fucked and, as always, I know what I am doing but can't stop myself.

 

Anyway, I was dying for a piss and asked the lads where the bog was. 'Upstairs' I was told. I staggered upstairs and along this corridor but couldn't see where the fuck the toilet was. Sooooooooooo, as I was absolutely bursting I had to get it out and let loose :lol:

 

Spanish waiter comes up, sees me and 'No. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' I was in heaven and couldn't stop. I finished, staggered downstairs to the lads and told them what had happened. The staff behind the bar were pointing at us (or me, in particular) and I advised the boys that I thought we had better leave; we did.

 

I'm surprised I didn't get us into more trouble ;)

 

This was many moons ago, and as I said, I'm not proud of myself :blush:

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Have always thought must be awful for you men if you dribble after a pee and it shows on your jeans/trousers  ;)  ;)

114390[/snapback]

 

They should dab the end with a bit of loo roll tbh :lol:

114392[/snapback]

 

yep so they should, but there must be after dribbles sometimes!! :blush:

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I am not proud of this:

 

I was in a bar in Bilbao once with colleagues on the piss. I was skull-fucked and, as always, I know what I am doing but can't stop myself.

 

Anyway, I was dying for a piss and asked the lads where the bog was. 'Upstairs' I was told. I staggered upstairs and along this corridor but couldn't see where the fuck the toilet was. Sooooooooooo, as I was absolutely bursting I had to get it out and let loose ;)

 

Spanish waiter comes up, sees me and 'No. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' I was in heaven and couldn't stop. I finished, staggered downstairs to the lads and told them what had happened. The staff behind the bar were pointing at us (or me, in particular) and I advised the boys that I thought we had better leave; we did.

 

I'm surprised I didn't get us into more trouble :blush:

 

This was many moons ago, and as I said, I'm not proud of myself ;)

114395[/snapback]

 

I see we're going to have to keep a close eye on you at the next piss-up :lol:

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I am not proud of this:

 

I was in a bar in Bilbao once with colleagues on the piss. I was skull-fucked and, as always, I know what I am doing but can't stop myself.

 

Anyway, I was dying for a piss and asked the lads where the bog was. 'Upstairs' I was told. I staggered upstairs and along this corridor but couldn't see where the fuck the toilet was. Sooooooooooo, as I was absolutely bursting I had to get it out and let loose :blush:

 

Spanish waiter comes up, sees me and 'No. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' I was in heaven and couldn't stop. I finished, staggered downstairs to the lads and told them what had happened. The staff behind the bar were pointing at us (or me, in particular) and I advised the boys that I thought we had better leave; we did.

 

I'm surprised I didn't get us into more trouble ;)

 

This was many moons ago, and as I said, I'm not proud of myself :blush:

114395[/snapback]

 

I see we're going to have to keep a close eye on you at the next piss-up :lol:

114398[/snapback]

 

or take a urine bottle ;)

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I am not proud of this:

 

I was in a bar in Bilbao once with colleagues on the piss. I was skull-fucked and, as always, I know what I am doing but can't stop myself.

 

Anyway, I was dying for a piss and asked the lads where the bog was. 'Upstairs' I was told. I staggered upstairs and along this corridor but couldn't see where the fuck the toilet was. Sooooooooooo, as I was absolutely bursting I had to get it out and let loose ;)

 

Spanish waiter comes up, sees me and 'No. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!' I was in heaven and couldn't stop. I finished, staggered downstairs to the lads and told them what had happened. The staff behind the bar were pointing at us (or me, in particular) and I advised the boys that I thought we had better leave; we did.

 

I'm surprised I didn't get us into more trouble :blush:

 

This was many moons ago, and as I said, I'm not proud of myself ;)

114395[/snapback]

:lol:

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Have always thought must be awful for you men if you dribble after a pee and it shows on your jeans/trousers  ;)  :lol:

114390[/snapback]

 

That's why the after-show party that is wringing is utterly essential.

 

Some lads take it too far. There's a dividing line between 'getting rid of the drips' and 'bashing the bishop'

114393[/snapback]

 

Wringing??

 

44_large.gif

 

Have you perhaps damaged yourself beyond repair? This could explain the aim issues and the soggy floorboard.

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It was dark, and I don't speak a lot of Spanish so didn't know Hierren (is it? :lol: ) for the bogs. ;)

 

I haven't done it since, I swear, no matter how drunk I've been - and BOY have I been drunk on the odd occasion :blush:

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Just remembered another one:

 

Few months back we were in Flares, me and my mate went for a piss. Got to the door upstairs and couldn't grasp opening it (:lol:), I thought fuck it i'll hold on til later, but my mate decided he'd just piss on the toilet door.

 

Two seconds later some fella comes out of the toilet and gets pissed on by my mate! ;)

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Has anyone mentioned when you have a stray pubic hair caught (unknowingly) right across your jap's eye ( a bit like the wire across the apple on Golden Shot - Golden shot is not a pun by the way :lol:;):blush: ) and when the flow starts you have a two-jetted stream?? It can go anywhere under these circumstances ;)

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