Jusoda Kid
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Posts posted by Jusoda Kid
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I wrote this about a 6 weeks ago and things are still no better:
The Season ahead
What will it bring excitement and thrills?
Has Mr Souness got the management skills?
After his performance last season, confidence is low
I'll give him until Christmas then he can go
I hope I'm wrong and he's still here in time
Because that means the Toon have been playing sublime.
But, two players signed for the start of the season
Our best player gone for whatever the reason
Seems good, cheap players are hard to find
Especially one's that don't speak their mind
World class players knocking on the door
Right Oh Fred, heard that one before!
Will it be Owen, Emre or Figo?
Or is this just you massaging your ego?
Time will tell on the fourth of July
Whether it's the truth or another big lie?
Although we are known to change our mind like the weather
I can assure you this time were at the end of our tether
So it looks like your drinking in the last chance Saloon
Unless you and your Manager bring a Cup to the Toon
All the fans want is some vast improvement
But what i predict is an Anti-Fred movement
We'll forgive and forget as we always do, and wish you the best for the season ahead
Even though we know you can't lie straight in bed
Because no matter what happens we follow our team
It's called supporting The Toon, living the dream.
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One in 25 fathers 'not the daddy'
Image of a dad with baby
Paternity tests may be done for medical or legal reasons
Up to one in 25 dads could unknowingly be raising another man's child, UK health researchers estimate.
Increasing use of genetic testing for medical and legal reasons means more couples are discovering the biological proof of who fathered the child.
The Liverpool John Moores University team reached its estimate based on research findings published between 1950 and 2004.
The study appears in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health.
Biological father
Professor Mark Bellis and his team said that the implications of so-called paternal discrepancy were huge and largely ignored, even though the incidence was increasing.
In the US, the number of paternity tests increased from 142,000 in 1991 to 310,490 in 2001.
Vital information is being delivered to people without very much thought about how it is going to affect them
Lead researcher Professor Bellis
Demand for testing has grown by a factor of 10 in the last decade in the UK, according to University Diagnostics, Teddington.
The current level in the UK is somewhere between 8,900 and 20,000 tests per year.
About 5,000 of these tests are instigated at the demand of the Child Support Agency to resolve who should be paying child maintenance.
Others are done to investigate inherited health disorders and others for social reasons.
The Liverpool team found that rates of cases where a father was not the biological father of his child ranged from 1% in some studies to as much as 30%.
Experts have generally agreed that the rate is below 10%, with a 4% rate meaning that about one in 25 families could be affected.
However, increasing use of genetic testing is likely to boost the rates of paternal discrepancy, say the authors.
Important consequences
Professor Bellis said the consequences of a man finding out that he is not the biological father of a child could be devastating.
It can lead to relationship breakdown, mental health problems for both partners and even domestic violence, while the children involved can experience low self-esteem and anxiety.
He said services and support should be available to minimise such negative consequences.
In an ideal world, everyone should have counselling
Rebecca Webster, a counsellor for private paternity testing company DNA Bioscience
However, even basic counselling is not always provided - some individuals order and receive test results by email or over a web site, he said.
"Vital information is being delivered to people without very much thought about how it is going to affect them," he said.
Counselling
Rebecca Webster, a counsellor for private paternity testing company DNA Bioscience, who speaks to about 500 men each month about such decisions, said: "We will raise the issue about whether they have thought about the consequences both for them and all those involved.
"Very often they are quite distressed and they want someone to talk to.
"By the time they get the results a lot of people have prepared themselves. But it's a very emotional process, even if the result is the one they wanted.
"In an ideal world, everyone should have counselling and it should be available on the NHS. Unfortunately, it's not."
Adrienne Burgess of Fathers Direct called for a code of practice to ensure companies providing paternity tests also offer counselling.
The NSPCC said fathers who find out they have been raising another man's child should remember that however angry they feel, they should not take this out on the child in any way.
"The child will still regard the parent as their father. Rejection could be a devastating double blow for the child, " said a spokeswoman.
Women - Snakes with tits, tell us something we don't know
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We are now three days away from the start of the season and Newcastle United as a club are a total shambles.
After promissing early signs to the pre season (the signings of Parker and Emre and the sale of O'Brien) that suggested we might be able to move foward as a team this term we are now in a situation where we basically have no team at all.
We are lacking a first choice left back which at this stage is likely to mean that Taylor will have to be switched there and Moore will have to start in the centre.
Jenas looks likely to leave so we will be forced to play Bowyer (a player who we tried to offload!) as the third part of our midfield three.
We are going to have to play Shearer in virtually every game (something he says he's no longer capable of and no one is arguing) as the main striker, hope Dyer manages every game as the right attacker (something he's never come close to) and then player either Milner or N'Zogbia (out of position) on the left.
So basically we do not have a single area of the pitch where we have a team!
I know many people will lay this flatly at Souness's (the Devil) door but while I agree he's shite I can't accept that he would allow this to happen if he could do anything about it.
The simple fact is the usless fat twat we have in charge isn't allowing his manager to spens the money that is required to complete a team. We have now given up on Anelka after only bidding about £4.5m. It was stupid to think that Fener would sell him for that little in the first place but it's even worse to give up now without even bothering to offer some more.
I know I'm not telling anyone anything they don't already know but the shortsightedness of our board is is now beyond a joke and with the state it has left the team in, it is absolutely frightening.
I don't like the idea of mass protests at games by the fans but I have to admit that I am now extremely worried that unless we can do something to get that fat fucker out, then we can kiss our future in the top league (never mind europe) goodbye.
Agree completely but would add that I think part of the reason we can't get players in stems from Souness himself, and what he has done to the status of our club. His reputation precedes him, if I was a proffessional footballer I would think twice before being managed by him.
Mind you, its entirely Shepherd's fault he is here in the first place.
I think Shepherd has just realised his mistake in making a professional cunt the manager of the toon
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Anyway....
LM - I assume your PC has a USB2 port? If so then you might want to consider this - http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/redire...1&creative=6738
If you do go ahead a purchase it, be a luvvy and use the link above so I gets me some commission!
Or this:
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Now thats what I'm talking about. Thing is though I always imagine birds of this calibre to not be dirty enough in the scratcher which makes them sort of pointless imo. Another thing is, there going to know there fucking gorgeous and therefore start limiting sexual favours for things, which is not a good predicament to be in.
you should be so lucky..................
Forgot to add - But it's a predicament i wouldn't mind trying out
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When i was about 14 we were once wagging it from school and decided that Eldon Square would be a good venue to spend the day. Anyway one thing led to another and we soon had the security guards after us so we decided to do a runner out the doors becide Old Eldon Sq only one of my mates decided to try and run through the pane of glass next to the glass door, he hit it that hard he knocked his front tooth out and put a hairline crack in the glass, hence he got caught and the rest of us ran away pissing ourselves.
He reckons it absolutely knacked of which i don't doubt for one minute.
Can't stop laughing to myself now and it was 16 years ago
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Milk
in General Chat
Ahhh, Milk my favourite beverage. Have about 2 pints a day of semi-skimmed, probably not good for you but I'm addicted. You can't wack an ice cold glass of milk and a Snickers. Even when i go to Mcdonalds or Burger King fuck the fizzy shite it's milk all the way.The only down side for me is it doesn't get you pissed
By the way I'm not fat as fuck either and I've been drinking it in them quantities for the past ten years, bones like fucking iron as well
Someone tried selling alcoholic milk in Australia (unsuprisingly) about ten years ago. Don't know if it ever took off.
It would be like Alien Nation
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Why the delay in kicking up a stink? Seems to me like you may have left it to long to ask. If you dig out the contract you'll probably find that it says somewhere else in it that if you fail to make a claim within the following 6 month after the year has passed you will miss out on the bonus payment, or they'll probably insert a clause especially for you stating that because he's family you don't qualify for it
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Wasn't that Makosi from Big Brother rattling on about Thrush........ I thought she was a blackbird
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Now thats what I'm talking about. Thing is though I always imagine birds of this calibre to not be dirty enough in the scratcher which makes them sort of pointless imo. Another thing is, there going to know there fucking gorgeous and therefore start limiting sexual favours for things, which is not a good predicament to be in.
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That wouldn't work, that fat fucka would probably drop her knickers and smother it. Probably end up like a controlled blast by the bomb squad.
Fat slag!
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Milk
in General Chat
Ahhh, Milk my favourite beverage. Have about 2 pints a day of semi-skimmed, probably not good for you but I'm addicted. You can't wack an ice cold glass of milk and a Snickers. Even when i go to Mcdonalds or Burger King fuck the fizzy shite it's milk all the way.
The only down side for me is it doesn't get you pissed
By the way I'm not fat as fuck either and I've been drinking it in them quantities for the past ten years, bones like fucking iron as well
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Theres only one thing misssing from that house and thats a fucking Chip pan fire, with no survivors may i add.
That would get them the publicity they all crave for, sad bastards.
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I think Drogba is a top, top player. Couldn't believe people knocked him last season, for not scoring enough goals because he played for the team more than he wanted. Since when is that a problem !!! He has everything for me, strength, pace, two good feet, heading ability etc.
And Chris Waddle talks garbage, always did. He wants to be a coach or a manager, he'll be another Trevor Francis, Souness etc no managerial quality whatsoever.
Fully agree, a bit overpriced maybe but i would have loved to seen him in a toon top
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Are you mad. For one he's done nothing for the past 2 seasons, he doesn't want to be here and all he cares about is his england career, if thats what you can call it.
He's a pric and if they can get the sort of money there talking about they should snap it up and with a bit of luck he'll dissapear in the same way Jeffers did at Arsenal.
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If you want to quote, you click on the Reply button BELOW the one you want to quote. Otherwise just click on AddReply or FastReply at the bottom. I have no idea what the Quote button is for.
If you want to quote, you click on the Reply button BELOW the one you want to quote. Otherwise just click on AddReply or FastReply at the bottom. I have no idea what the Quote button is for.
So you can do this.
This!
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National Service my arse, the kids of today are past that. What's needed for the fuckas around wor way is vigilante squads going around beating seven colours of shit out of them, and their parents every time they do something out of line, that would sharp make them think twice before doing something daft and I'm sure the parents would make more of an effort to keep them on the straight and narrow after the fatha had taken a pasting and was eating through a straw for 3 months due to the actions of his sibling.
You'll probably find in 95% of these problem child cases that the parents are professional shithouses and the kids are only following in their footsteps because they know no better.
If they were to bring national service back the majority of them would just go awol when the going got tough so the whole thing would have to be run like a prison otherwise they would just fuck off and go on the run.
Justice i say for failing to bring your kids up to show respect to others, in fact a quicker solution would be to shoot the fuckas and give all charvas the snip before they get the chance to sow their seed, there offspring wouldn't be missed
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The higher the specific heat capacity, the more energy that is require to make the objects temperature rise. Since aluminum has a very low specific heat, it only takes a little bit of energy to heat it up. But this works both ways. It also only has to release a small amount of energy to cool down. Therefore, it cools very quickly and so by the time you grab it out of the oven, it only feels mildly warm.
www.ask.co.uk??
Sceptic
You're a tax man, I know you know fuck all about specific heat capacity....
It's 10 years since I did A-Level Physics and I've having a job remembering it!
While were on Why don't fly's burn their feet when they land on a lightbulb? I know it's an old one but why don't they?
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1. Go out for a meal = about once a month
2. Grab a take away = Every Sunday
3. Get Drunk = about 3 times a week
4. Exercise = Just my right hand
5. Eye up a member of the opposite sex = all the time
6. Take a holiday = abroad once a year
7. Buy a newspaper = Daily
8. Go overdrawn in your bank account = Occasionaly
9. Beep your horn = Rarely
10. Swear = Far to much
A poem
in Newcastle Forum
Posted
Must start varying my avatars