Gemmill

Look at the fucking state of Beestung Steve on that graphic.

Keto Pizza is one of those things where you have to work really hard to convince yourself it's anything like the real thing. Awful.

Looks like St Patrick missed one fucking snake. Disgusting.

No way, has he been ill?!

3 or 4?! Do you think I'm Oliver Reed!?

Put out a BOLO.

Found a boxed bottle of Talisker 10 year single malt in the cupboard. I fucking DESPISE whisky but it's the only thing in the house. I just need to find something that makes it drinkable. Perhaps honey.

Longstaff and Bruno both playing, you fucking Just 17 readers.

If I start the match thread for the Man United game, we'll be above them come 6:30 on 2nd April.

Doesn't seem to be anyone credible saying Longstaff is injured. We'll know in just over an hour, but whatever happens I just want you all to settle in and enjoy another victory delivered by yours truly, the ULTIMATE thread starter. The gingerbread lattes are on me!

Never mind, you get yourself 40 winks while old hopalong next to you does the driving.

Is Brennan Johnson out injured? He's their main man so that would be great news. Don't worry about Almiron being out, opportunity for the Murph.

My mistake, I must have completely misread your mood when you post in this thread.

How would you do Power BI without DAX though? That's the native language of power BI. I'm learning M as well, which is the Power Query one. It would be typical if I've been wasting my fucking time.

There's a bloke works as a consultant at my place who gets £1k a day from us for being good at DAX and Power BI. So I'm using my previous doomscrolling time to teach myself how to do that and become the £1k a day man. When playschool isn't on.

It's not that I'm not interested. I can get as obsessed as anyone about this stuff. And the little jolts of hatred you can feel for people are totally addictive. But I know it does me no good - it affects my mood, it probably affects my sleep which is already dismal, and once you stop doing it you realise how much of a drain it is. The cancer thing - that would be happening to me personally, so of course I want to know. It's not about living in ignorance or not wanting to know about things. I'm not sitting watching playschool and drooling out the side of my gob as an alternative. It's realising how damaging it is mentally to try and be across all of this stuff - I was literally scrolling to find stuff to be angry about. That's insane. I would guess by the way you turn up here to talk about things, that you might be doing the same...?

Everyone's too busy dancing on tik tok.

Whether you ignore it or you spend all day reading a feed about it, it's happening. Nothing we do will stop that - our next opportunity to do something is a general election. Being informed down to the last detail about this stuff doesn't make any difference to whether it happens, but it absolutely crushes your soul and leaves you permanently furious/in despair.

No more doomscrolling for you, ya big ding dong. I'm constantly nope-ing out within 30 seconds of scrolling twitter at the minute. Deleted the app so I have to use the shite mobile website if I want to put myself through it. Feels like the world is ending if you spend too much time on there. Its literally the opposite of a mood enhancer.

This is your worst EVER post. I honestly don't know how you come back from this.

I think he's playing and you lot are like lasses reading your favourite boy band member's tweets and worrying he might be leaving the band. THAT'S what I think.

Aye enjoy a snake-free pint of Guinness tonight, ewerk. Good old St Patrick.

Servant is canny. Weird as fuck but keeps you watching. If you've got Apple TV and you aren't watching Shrinking, you're a MAJOR arsehole.

Viera sacked.