Ken

We are quite particular of who we let into the country these days, and we have enough louts in this country to accept another one.

He'd be in the fetal position before a ball is even bowled.

Bit of a catch 22 situation isn't it. If he tours he will cop an enormous amount of shit here, and the media will target him and make it about him rather than the team. That vid with him taking the piss out of that disabled kid will not have helped his cause. Think if he toured he'd crumble mentally.

How did your lot manage to beat South Africa? Did they field a third string team?

And I've changed mine, this series won't be close at all.

I don't expect it to be Gloomy. It will be closer than you expect. Trust me. History is history. No need to go over it. Leave it at that.

So not a complete domination but 4-1?

It sounds so grim that we won't lose a match.

I don't propose to know your team for a moment Gloomy, it is a shell of what I am familiar with, but there are question marks with your top order batsmen.

So, paceman you would have considered over?

Memories are great. Do you remember Shane Warne? Mike Gatting will never forget.

Doesn't look like you have one. You need at least one bowler that can do 140km+ and you need openers that can absorb the pressure that we will unleash at 140kn+.

Great link. My knowledge of England's current batting stocks has increased a hundred fold after reading that.

Sounds like he is a senior player now.

That's OK, I understand. Just thought England were in better shape. I understand the pessimism now though, many haven't played here.

Not a huge fan of 20/20, I am a traditionalist at heart and not into the Big Bash. Chris Woakes rings a bell in the ODI's though now that I think about it.

James Taylor hey?.. hmm. Hales? Compton? Yup. I see why you aren't so optimistic now.

Cheers mate. I honestly had to google every one of those players except Gary Ballance to know who they are. Nothing like I knew England.

I fancy our chances more in the ODI's tbh. We are almost unbeatable here.

So what are the expected changes from the eleven that beat South Africa then?

This Ashes series will go down to the wire. We aren't playing great, lack of confidence in the group atm. Pay dispute between players and cricketing body has been a massive distraction and tours to Bangladesh and India were pointless.

Didn't realise. Too much cricket being played everywhere in all forms. Good effort though.

You also lost a match to the Windies at home. Hard to judge form.

Over at yours.

South Africa are good. Play well on hard pitches. Don't think England are near there level which makes this Ashes series interesting. It will be close.