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Smooth Operator

Insurance claims

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Anyone ever made a fraudulent insurance claim?

 

Got someone coming out tonight cos wor lass rang them to say I'd spilt gloss paint all over the carpet on the landing, this is a new bit of landing that was created when we converted the loft. Thing is it's a funny shape and any claims investigator worth their salt should be thinking there's a rabbit off plus there's no stained carpet to show them to back up the claim.

 

I wouldn't care, spilt a shit load of paint in the garage recently ruining some of the kids outdoor toys and the bairns car seat and she doesn't want to claim (legitimately) for that!

Edited by Smooth Operator

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No evidence, you're fucked sonny. Iron Brew is the Daddy for insurance claims, no matter what they do the bastard just doesn't come out. The majority of insurance company's don't even bother trying to clean it when they find out there's been jocks blood spilled on it.

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No evidence, you're fucked sonny. Iron Brew is the Daddy for insurance claims, no matter what they do the bastard just doesn't come out. The majority of insurance company's don't even bother trying to clean it when they find out there's been jocks blood spilled on it.

 

She said we had to hoy it cos the bairn was crawling around and it was a health & safety issue. Should be ok I reckon.

 

If carpet shops didn't want nearly a grand to carpet 2 flights of stairs and a landing then there'd be no need! Fucking stupid prices and that's in the sale!

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No evidence, you're fucked sonny. Iron Brew is the Daddy for insurance claims, no matter what they do the bastard just doesn't come out. The majority of insurance company's don't even bother trying to clean it when they find out there's been jocks blood spilled on it.

 

She said we had to hoy it cos the bairn was crawling around and it was a health & safety issue. Should be ok I reckon.

 

If carpet shops didn't want nearly a grand to carpet 2 flights of stairs and a landing then there'd be no need! Fucking stupid prices and that's in the sale!

 

They would have expected you to keep the carpet as evidence. Can see this claim falling like a house of cards tbh

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No evidence, you're fucked sonny. Iron Brew is the Daddy for insurance claims, no matter what they do the bastard just doesn't come out. The majority of insurance company's don't even bother trying to clean it when they find out there's been jocks blood spilled on it.

 

She said we had to hoy it cos the bairn was crawling around and it was a health & safety issue. Should be ok I reckon.

 

If carpet shops didn't want nearly a grand to carpet 2 flights of stairs and a landing then there'd be no need! Fucking stupid prices and that's in the sale!

 

They would have expected you to keep the carpet as evidence. Can see this claim falling like a house of cards tbh

 

Carpet was valued at £41.99 a square metre and a cheque for £1190 will be arriving soon.

 

Bingo!

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No evidence, you're fucked sonny. Iron Brew is the Daddy for insurance claims, no matter what they do the bastard just doesn't come out. The majority of insurance company's don't even bother trying to clean it when they find out there's been jocks blood spilled on it.

 

She said we had to hoy it cos the bairn was crawling around and it was a health & safety issue. Should be ok I reckon.

 

If carpet shops didn't want nearly a grand to carpet 2 flights of stairs and a landing then there'd be no need! Fucking stupid prices and that's in the sale!

 

They would have expected you to keep the carpet as evidence. Can see this claim falling like a house of cards tbh

 

Carpet was valued at £41.99 a square metre and a cheque for £1190 will be arriving soon.

 

Bingo!

 

£41.99. fucking hell!!!

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No evidence, you're fucked sonny. Iron Brew is the Daddy for insurance claims, no matter what they do the bastard just doesn't come out. The majority of insurance company's don't even bother trying to clean it when they find out there's been jocks blood spilled on it.

 

She said we had to hoy it cos the bairn was crawling around and it was a health & safety issue. Should be ok I reckon.

 

If carpet shops didn't want nearly a grand to carpet 2 flights of stairs and a landing then there'd be no need! Fucking stupid prices and that's in the sale!

 

They would have expected you to keep the carpet as evidence. Can see this claim falling like a house of cards tbh

 

Carpet was valued at £41.99 a square metre and a cheque for £1190 will be arriving soon.

 

Bingo!

 

£41.99. fucking hell!!!

 

It's a medium quality Axminster apparently, all I care about is that i'm getting over a grand to replace a carpet that's well over 20 years old. Result in anyone's language!

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Seriously considering having an 'accident' with a litre of gloss to get my carpet replaced tbh. :icon_lol:

 

Paints not the way forward, as Wacky said Irn Bru or a nice Tikka Masala works wonders, much easier to explain what you were doing walking through the room carrying a plate of curry.

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Seriously considering having an 'accident' with a litre of gloss to get my carpet replaced tbh. :icon_lol:

 

Paints not the way forward, as Wacky said Irn Bru or a nice Tikka Masala works wonders, much easier to explain what you were doing walking through the room carrying a plate of curry.

 

The carpet's predominantly red so irn bru wouldn't stand a chance. White gloss is the only answer for me tbh...

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http://www.carpet.it/product.php?id=467

 

 

Leaving you £1020.24 to spend on anything you your lass wants.

 

Aye if I a council carpet!

 

Think I'll push the boat out and go for a runner down the stairs with some brass carpet rods.

 

Thought you were gonna say "do a runner with the cheque" :icon_lol:

 

Wouldn't go very far seeing as it's gonna be made payable to Storey Carpets. :icon_lol:

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