LoveTheBobby 1 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Newcastle United have today been linked with a sensational swoop for no-nonsense, tough-talking fictional character Detective Luitenant Kojak . (The we can reveal/a club source confirmed/we're just pumping the shit we're told bit goes here.) Versatile and debonaire, hairless Kojak (pictured) is believed to be jetting into Tyneside today astride a giant lollipop for a 'feel his balls n that' medical in a move that will see Pardew bag the baldy he sees as his "missing cueball" . The bloke with no room in his head for any more teeth added "Detective Luitenant Kojak can be a reeuw fret for us - especially at scenes of crime or down the flanks n stuff. Other people that don't actually exist said to be on the brink of capture include Mr Claypole off Rentaghost, Bod and spekky fuckin Vhelma off Scooby Doo . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meenzer 14055 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Rated 99 on Follicle Manager Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2188 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Disappointed tbh. Was hoping for Ironsides to add much needed steel to our defence and Hercule Poirot for his cultured feet. We'll probably ever get Kojak anyway (why would he come here?), it's more likely we'll sign Miss Marple at the last minute as a consolation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snakehips 0 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Despite repeated attempts to land the veteran, Miss Marple said she's staying at sunlun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitman 2188 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Despite repeated attempts to land the veteran, Miss Marple said she's staying at sunlun. I heard she wanted a four year deal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ollie Burtons Grandad 0 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Toon signs ace Striker "Pardew states new signing is fucking mint in the air and can add a spring to our attack" Mr Rusty the Manager of The Magic Roundabout XI said that he expected Dillon the Rabbit to fill the spot vacated by Joey Barton. Zeberdee has cost Newcastle 2 Mars Bars 12 tins of Stella and a couple of jazz mags Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Face 29 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 Really hope we can pull this one off. Need cover for smith and Telly Savalas would be perfect for coming on and doing nothing but picking up a yellow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OTF 6185 Posted August 29, 2011 Share Posted August 29, 2011 They're blatantly just trying to recreate the excitement and buzz that surrounded the coup of a signing that was Le Sib. ...and who can blame them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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