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Gemmill

"Stress"

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Remember the elastic band

 

Apply too much tension,

 

It snaps,

 

Then it is useless.

 

So humans, do

 

Take care, do not

 

Let this happen to you,

 

Too much stress and tension

 

You too may snap

 

So take a break

 

Have yourself a nap

 

For the sake of your health

 

Meditate and relax

 

Establish that,

 

`Easy does it' approach

 

At all times, moderation

 

And take control

 

Of yourself, as

 

No-one else will,

 

It makes for common sense.

 

Absolutely SHIT. :lol:

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Guest alex

They're always awful like, as is the rest of the letters page. With the exception of 'Vent Your Spleen' :lol:

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Have a look here. The old biddys are going MENTAL about the buses.

 

http://icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/evening...le/haveyoursay/

 

Listen to the cheek of this young whippersnapper!

 

So what pensioners get free travel so what, we all get old incuding so you Silent Witness so what is your problem here and I'm not near pension age yet, but it comes to us all

 

And in amongst all the talk of buses, Stuart from Newcastle asks:

 

Are Christians so insecure about their own religion that they feel threatened by a piece of theatre?

 

:lol:

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Apparently the reason the buses are so busy is that there's a bingo session finishes AND a tea dance ending at the same time, so as you can imagine the buses get a bit rowdy.

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Guest alex

Live life to full Apr 14 2006

 

 

 

 

By Anon, The Evening Chronicle

 

 

Take pleasure, from the wonders of nature,

 

It's all around us,

 

Try to understand,

 

Apologise when in the wrong

 

Make love not war,

 

 

Jesus fucking wept :lol:

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That's no more than a collection of completely unrelated sentences. :lol: No wonder they wanted to remain anon.

Edited by Gemmill

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Guest alex
Live life to full Apr 14 2006

 

 

 

 

By Anon, The Evening Chronicle

 

 

Take pleasure, from the wonders of nature,

 

It's all around us,

 

Try to understand,

 

Apologise when in the wrong

 

Make love not war,

 

 

Jesus fucking wept :lol:

123007[/snapback]

Here's the rest of it:

 

Seek out a faithful friend,

 

 

Replace hate with trust

 

 

Whenever possible,

 

 

Make enemies into friends,

 

 

Think and be kind

 

 

To other people,

 

 

And live you life

 

 

To the full

 

:lol:

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Here's one called "No thanks, I don't smoke"

 

While writing this poem,

My breathing sounds wheezy,

The stuff I cough up,

Makes me feel rather queasy.

It has to be done

For the sake of my health

For the people around me

And also my wealth

Each ciggie I lit made my chest even worse

So I made an appointment to see the tab nurse

Inhaler and patches and leaflets to read

To avoid the Grim Reaper

I must ditch the weed

I once tried cold turkey

But that didn't work

After only six days

I was going berserk!

Two weeks without smoking

Nicorettes brought relief

But so has the thought

Of no more ginger teeth!

A healthy white smile

With a fresh breath to match

I will keep it up

With willpower and a patch

 

 

:lol:

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where the fuck, do you keep on finding those? I haven't laughed so much in ages

123014[/snapback]

 

http://icnewcastle.icnetwork.co.uk/eveningchronicle/poems/

 

Poet Laureate nominees to a man. :nufc:

 

Ally, if you've got "exam stress" I don't even want to hear about it. :lol:

123016[/snapback]

 

Not exam stress, fucking essay stress! Got 3 due a week today, haven't got a clue what i'm writing about, meant to write 3,500 words on this little bad boy:

 

‘European integration resulted from a series of rational choices made by national leaders’. Discuss with explicit reference to theories of European integration.

 

I'm tearing my fucking hair out! :lol:

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Guest alex

A truly terrifying trip Apr 14 2006

 

 

I had a little accident when I was a lad,

 

Fell off of my bicycle the pain was oh so bad

 

I must of hit my head somehow as I fell from it

 

As I couldn't recall what had happened no details could I submit

 

The first thing I could remember was being back at home

 

 

Two neighbours had carried me there, I woke hearing my mum's tone

 

 

I sobbed most uncontrollably, something was wrong I could tell

 

 

As when mum hugged to comfort me I released a booming yell

 

 

So off to casualty we went in my father's car

 

 

Bumps in the road caused discomfort, this short journey seemed too far

 

 

The results from the taken X-rays forever did they take

 

 

When the doctor finally spoke I'd got a collarbone break.

 

 

I'd also been knocked unconscious as well as this broken bone

 

 

So I'd be kept in overnight was not allowed to go back home

 

 

I went into a petrified panic I'd never slept from my mum and dad

 

 

Mum explained this to the nurses so was permitted to stay with her scared

 

 

The time in hospital got worse as I became a worry

 

 

My pupils kept changing in size so off for a brain scan I did hurry

 

 

I was feeling so weak as food I was not allowed to eat

 

 

Poor mum must have been worried sick sitting on that bedside seat

 

 

Minutes seemed like hours and hours seemed like days

 

 

As we waited for results our surroundings became a distant haze

 

 

At last good news was given no further damage had I received

 

 

I was free to go home - hooray at last I became at ease

 

 

The night of my discharge I still remember after all this time gone by

 

 

My mum cooked up my then favourite steak and kidney pie

 

 

By Steve Hookway, Gateshead

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A truly terrifying trip Apr 14 2006

 

 

I had a little accident when I was a lad,

 

Fell off of my bicycle the pain was oh so bad

 

I must of hit my head somehow as I fell from it

 

As I couldn't recall what had happened no details could I submit

 

The first thing I could remember was being back at home

 

 

Two neighbours had carried me there, I woke hearing my mum's tone

 

 

I sobbed most uncontrollably, something was wrong I could tell

 

 

As when mum hugged to comfort me I released a booming yell

 

 

So off to casualty we went in my father's car

 

 

Bumps in the road caused discomfort, this short journey seemed too far

 

 

The results from the taken X-rays forever did they take

 

 

When the doctor finally spoke I'd got a collarbone break.

 

 

I'd also been knocked unconscious as well as this broken bone

 

 

So I'd be kept in overnight was not allowed to go back home

 

 

I went into a petrified panic I'd never slept from my mum and dad

 

 

Mum explained this to the nurses so was permitted to stay with her scared

 

 

The time in hospital got worse as I became a worry

 

 

My pupils kept changing in size so off for a brain scan I did hurry

 

 

I was feeling so weak as food I was not allowed to eat

 

 

Poor mum must have been worried sick sitting on that bedside seat

 

 

Minutes seemed like hours and hours seemed like days

 

 

As we waited for results our surroundings became a distant haze

 

 

At last good news was given no further damage had I received

 

 

I was free to go home - hooray at last I became at ease

 

 

The night of my discharge I still remember after all this time gone by

 

 

My mum cooked up my then favourite steak and kidney pie

 

 

By Steve Hookway, Gateshead

123023[/snapback]

 

 

:lol::lol::nufc:

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The results from the taken X-rays forever did they take

When the doctor finally spoke I'd got a collarbone break.

 

Getting the rhymes in with a shoe-horn. :lol:

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The results from the taken X-rays forever did they take

When the doctor finally spoke I'd got a collarbone break.

 

 

123023[/snapback]

 

Yoda's sending poems to the chronicle now.

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Guest alex

The best yet tbh:

 

Golden Years Swimming Club

 

The Golden Oldies Swimming Club is where we go today

 

To meet friends old and new and pass the time of day

 

Swimming and aerobics are the things we do

 

Swimming up and down the pool trying to keep old bones new

 

We have Easter Bonnet bash, with lots of fancy hats

 

Black Forest gateau and lots and lots to eat

 

Must go back next Monday to get rid of all that.

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The best yet tbh:

 

Golden Years Swimming Club

 

The Golden Oldies Swimming Club is where we go today

 

To meet friends old and new and pass the time of day

 

Swimming and aerobics are the things we do

 

Swimming up and down the pool trying to keep old bones new

 

We have Easter Bonnet bash, with lots of fancy hats

 

Black Forest gateau and lots and lots to eat

 

Must go back next Monday to get rid of all that.

123032[/snapback]

 

:lol:

 

If they couldn't be arsed to finish it properly why do they think we should read it.

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