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Literally no one on Earth has ever said that, ever.

Great day just back from Northumbria Uni for Miss T's graduation i got a bit emotional but it was tears of joy one very proud dad. She's the first person in the family to go to Uni.

Fist Jnr shouts downstairs at 8:30pm, " Daa--aad, can I show you something?" Me. " It's well past bedtime, FJ, go to sleep!" FJ " But dad, it's really good!" Me " Go to sleep!" *hear thump thump thump as son runs downstairs. " But look!" Ffs!

God I hope we sign someone soon, just to stop this outpouring of total horseshit.

After 6/7 months and a wasted internal appeal we finally got our independent tribunal at HM court. We were in an hour and already presented further evidence which, unlike the DWP, they were happy to look at. The wife not only has had her higher rate of mobility reinstated but they've upped her care component to more than she was originally getting before this shit show kicked off so you could describe it as a result and we're very relieved, (she broke down crying when they made their decision). I'm also relieved but angry that so many people, some of whom are very vulnerable and not as determined as us, have had to put up with this absolutely, politically motivated, crock of shit. So the DWP took her care from standard to fucking zippo, yet the independent tribunal has not only raised it to standard but increased it to higher as well as putting the higher rate on mobility back. The DWP didn't turn up at the hearing which is just as well as they were found to have lied a bit like that one punch scouser on here who reckoned he was a professional comedian and would've walked out with their tail between their legs*. *in reality they'd have shrugged their shoulders and put it down to percentages and thought of the money saved by those too put off/vulnerable to get evidence together and go through the months of stress this entails. Fucking shame on the government.

I'm here for the churl-off.

There was a kid on the bus the other day who was just making one, long wordless sound for about 15 minutes and the mother was completely helpless to stop it, despite it's best efforts. That was only 20 minutes of a 24 hour day, of a 7 day week, of a 52 week year and I have no idea how anyone hacks it. And then they become teenagers, fuck me.

Thauvin got more goals from the wing than Mounie got up front in a similar amount of games. The French league is just as hit and miss as the Dutch league imo and his record was about 1 in 2.5 games which isn't much off Riviere's 1 in 3 for Monaco before we signed him. I see no reason whatsoever (short of an injury ridden season) that Gayle couldn't match the sort of numbers (or better) Deeney, Rondon, Vokes, and a couple of others got last season. He managed 7 in only 8 starts (15 sub apps) his first season at Palace, 5 in 11 starts (14 sub apps) second season, and 3 in 8 starts (8 sub apps) in his final season (which was under Pards), he's also no doubt improved since then and has a bit more confidence about him rather than being in and out of the team. I'm not opposed to us signing a striker but our focus should be elsewhere as imo striker is one of the harder positions for us to improve on (our starter anyway). We'd also still be lacking in creativity which is the main problem I think, I'd rather we spent big on a player for that number 10 role, a central midfielder, a left winger, a left back, and perhaps another CB. It's a shame the Lewis Holtby rumours seemed to be bollocks as I would have liked a player like that in behind the striker.

Proven goal getter in a top league (Not Portugal, Denmark or Holland). Approaching peak years ie 24 and upwards but under 30. Striker ratio of at least 1/3 with 2/3 good season under his belt. Price would be around 25m plus. Tier 1 is a good striker with more to come but not yet World class. Obviously we won't be buying a world class striker. So Gayle is a Tier 2 striker. Has PL experience and decent goal getter who will improve. Kane is Tier 1 etc...

Tune.

Gayle will start in the preferred 4231. Rest will depend on how Benny sees the pre-season going. As Gloom was saying and I agree we need a N0.10. They did try to sign that Samiras who can play there afaik.

My gift to you all is not bringing any more of the little cuntsacks into the world. You're welcome.

And with regards to Mitrovic, he's probably going to stay. One big reason is that we're never going to get anywhere near what we paid for him and two, I genuinely think he's got the right mindset to want to improve, despite being a knacker on the pitch (though that's definitely not as bad as people say) and I could see Rafa trying to mould him into a good striker. He's young, definitely nowhere near as good as you'd hope but he has scored important goals and, in the right frame of mind, he's an impact sub that can put the shits up defences. See, Tottenham away and Sunderland at home. Having said all that, he lacks the strikers instinct of Gayle and for a supposed target man, I watched game after game last season where he didn't win a single header. He's got such a long way to go but I think he's worth persevering with for another year

Not an hour goes by when I don't resent them

Sex with a nine month pregnant woman doesn't do it for me I'm afraid.

Congratulations!

My first was due today but still no sign of him/her. I'm expecting a huge shock to the system when it arrives.

(No Gemmill) Thought this was quite nice: http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/football-league/shola-ameobi-interview-exclusive-notts-county-newcastle-a7832071.html