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"...and I'll say this only once, so I will. Unless the British withdraw from Ireland we will continue to pick Harry Maguire in the England squad. If you don't release all political prisoners he will remain in the starting 11. Both Declan, to my left, and Jack, to my right have promised to play suicide passes back to him every 10 minutes until our demands are met. Up the RA."

Nearly.

Blackpool will be the death of him. How many chippies, pasty and pie shops do you think he can actually will himself past?

Nice to see the new generation of OAPs bringing curtain twitching into the 21st century.

Soon be James Earl Bones.

Wolves have conceded 9 goals so far (6 of them coming against Chelsea), only Everton have conceded more. They have 4th highest Post Shot xGA and the 3rd lowest Post Shot xG. That means that Jose Sa has faced a lot of high quality shots and their forwards aren't great at finishing. 4th lowest Shots on Target %, and they allow the 3rd hight Shots on Target % 3rd highest average distance of each shot taken. Middle of the road for possession, and 4th worst for pass completion. No team has conceded more from set pieces. In short, they're not very good in attack or defence. Given who we've got available I'd honestly expect another counterattack set up. Maybe Kelly at LB instead of Hall?

He’d been sitting on it for a while

Can’t say I’ve ever listened to them properly before but, if the first few minutes is representative, I can’t really understand why you’d spend half an hour of your time listening to that. Just bland opinions from a bunch of nobodies

Aye, they'll be flying the flags at half mast in Zamunda today.

James Urn Jones

Still looking sexy Dave.

My beard is doing it's damndest to show my support for Newcastle. Genuine fucking badger stripes, two down the side, one down the middle.

That was found suspiciously quickly.

They'll have to find time around this hot take:

Good.

Huge party on Endor though.

Could be worse

And I was thinking we had an original product.

if it was, I'd have worn the other one out by now and have no desire to part with the second one.

GB News producers: CLEAR THE SCHEDULE, GUYS! AND RING MIKE PARRY! We've got a show to do.

Luke man! it was just a joke

Death Vader

Aye. I was reading about the Covid inquiry today, lots of testimony from NHS staff, patients and relatives of victims. All very good stuff, but the real inquiry should be in to how many BILLIONS of pounds were backhanded directly in the pockets of Tory donors/cronies/mates. To me, it’s the biggest UK crime so far this century and there doesn’t seem to be any great hurry to prosecute the cunts who perpetrated it.

Just a point of pedantry re. Trump being funny. He’s not funny, he’s laughable. Mainly because he completely lacks a sense of humour. Obama is funny, he has a dry wit. Bush is funny, he plays up his Good Ole Boy persona- they have a sense of humour, and crucially, can laugh at themselves. I honestly can’t think of a single instance where I’ve seen Trump laughing at himself or someone else making a joke.

Genuinely pathetic.

A replacement to sell on ebay, possibly in 6 months time when he's given Vodafone enough time to twig. The extra cameras he would install in the ladies toilets of a nearby diner. They don't call him Upskirt Ali for nothing.

Hope he's right. A lot riding on the debate tonight, you'd think. If Trump could have a rambling stinkfest, it would be helpful for Harris to win the lion's share of the remaining undecideds. Btw undecided voters can get to fuck in general, but undecided voters in this situation are not fit to draw breath.

Rees Mogg. Another person I haven't seen or heard from since July 5th. Tremendous.

Aye. it's the Endor the road for Darth (Edit - not even the slightest bit sorry)

OMG I hope things have improved in his life.

Doesn't include test and trace or covid loans to businesses. Nobody will be jailed and no substantial amounts of money will be recovered as it will have been laundered to fuck. Token effort. I reckon they'll also "threaten" water company execs with financial penalties and maybe even jail for dumping shit. Again it won't happen and the shit will still flow.

Aside from the hit to their reputation, they’ll find the fines utterly crippling.

I’d seen that, and it’d be nice to recoup even a small portion of the money, but honestly, I want to see prison sentences for those involved. Proper ones, since financial crimes does seem to draw longer sentences than violent crimes under our justice system.

And when the usual suspects complain about the rich leaving etc etc fuckin bombard them with stuff like this. What’s gone on in the last 14 years wasn’t so much ideological as much as opportunistic…a massive transfer of public money into the back pockets of a tiny few. That fuckin wanker Sunak given his background unsurprisingly being a major instigator of it and just waving it all through when he got the top job. He and others involved should be fuckin properly investigated. And if it gets awkward for Starmer so fuckin what? https://amp.theguardian.com/politics/article/2024/sep/09/tory-covid-contracts-worth-15bn-had-corruption-red-flags-study-finds

Stats why Dave is our data king

I love the non-specificity of this "£175 item". It's a hi-tech novelty buttplug, isn't it?

Erm I think umm err I think erm

Something I try to keep explaining to my arab/muslim friends here many of whom seem to think voting for Trump is punishing Biden for the Gaza genocide. While the democrats definitely need to be accountable for that Trump really isn't the answer to any question ffs

He looks like he's been wiping his arse with his face.

If he is still smashing grannies' back doors in, I sincerely hope they have their affairs in order.

Rough looking for 38 mind, but he didn't look much different 20 years ago.

Who ate all the cow pies?