Jan

Got stuck in it last year and its at it again! Two weeks to the off for me it had better have cleared by then Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

The most I go out in my sleeping attire is to put the washing on the line or the bin out.

You know I actually checked to see if I had received a PM too!! Filthy tease I try "MEN" who leave the seat of the loo up after they use it and manage to pee all over the floor too, flithy barstewards. And don't get me started on putting the lid down!

You know I actually checked to see if I had received a PM too!!

You'll like this thread Jan: Clicky I think very much like renton...............how scary is that! How's the stain glass window??? Full of stone holes I can't think why!! ??

You'll like this thread Jan: Clicky I think very much like renton...............how scary is that!

Mopeds Lorry Drivers in the outside lane of the motorway People who kill themsleves to overtake you then pull in infront of you Tail gaters

People using mobile phones while riding a bike.

Cheeky barsteward I look very good in my nice form fitting jeans.

Cheeky barsteward I look very good in my nice form fitting jeans.

If it was taken off you?

And how many of them actually fit you? I have 10 pairs, with one pair considered to "snug" to leave the house in! (I aint having no camel toe!)

Can we ask the next England manager to produce a birth certificat and verify he can actually speak English before the FA give him a 5 year contract?

5 weeks then I am off to the States for 2 weeks, covering 8 flights and 4 cities. And all this on the back of a royal wedding the Americans are going to love us!

Had a week in Berlin last September lovely City with some great walking tours. Not cheap mind

I met the whole of the England team in 2004.

Funnt that as I have been sounding like Beaker on speed all day

Its a very scary world out there. People who plan children have one or two because that's all they can afford. While other shell them like peas!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13...inth-child.html I can easily stop he reproducing more with two house bricks!

Had my first ever date with the wife at the Grotto. Charmed here with half a cider and black and Three times a lady on the jukebox. I worked there many moons ago not even sure if its still open

I used to work at the Marsden Grotto and people used to jump off the cliffs on a regular basis. One guy jumped landed on the roof of the restaurant, broke both his legs and a number of other bones but survived. I got sick of seeing blankets, tents of coffins on the beach.

I never said they were any good

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, Can you believe that: 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my bagpipes I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept thinking to myself, "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection." But she did. The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death….. Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary. Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador." "You don't want to be doing that, so you don't" says Mick. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind" I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency... A man walks into a Welsh pub and orders a white wine spritzer. The bar goes silent as everyone stares at him. "Where are you from? You sound English," asks the barman, "I am from just across the Severn," replies the man nervously. "What do you do, 'just across the Severn?'", "I'm a taxidermist." "What on earth is one of those?", "I mount animals." "It's alright boys. He's one of us." Spent £40 on Ebay last week for a penis enlarger. Just opened it and some bastard's sent me a magnifying glass! I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! I presume she was poor she only had £1.20 in her purse. I went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my rectum! Do you think I should change dentist?

I alas will be in San Antonio, but enjoy

Is that a habit or a career choice?