Gemmill

I nearly posted that two seconds ago. I used to live in Portugal, you know (Carvoeiro). I'm so well-travelled and cultured it's untrue. 133420[/snapback] I've been to Carvoeiro. Just take a bottle of port 133424[/snapback] Canny innit? Did you go to Smileys and the Long Bar? Ruth Madoc was a regular at the Long Bar.

I'm flying on Friday. I'll do this and touch one of the stewardesses up on the way past. Watch the news on Saturday morning to find out whether I was invisible or not.

The same goes for all of us according to your mate Bill Bryson. We all gain a miniscule amount of time when, say, we travel on a long haul flight. I know you won't believe this cos it was Bryson though.

I nearly posted that two seconds ago. I used to live in Portugal, you know (Carvoeiro). I'm so well-travelled and cultured it's untrue.

I can just picture you sat on the sofa in front of a 37 inch monitor like the world's biggest wide-eyed nerd.

I reckon you'd be alright with the feathers. If you fell off a building onto them, they would cushion your fall, so would it not work in reverse too?

They like their grilled sardines, but I'd go with Piri Piri tbh. It must be easy to make too. You can buy piri piri seasoning in Tescos.

And they've had a days training from combat specialists on how to act as a group to take you down. What effect does it have on the number if we tell Gemmill one of them has chocolate? 133390[/snapback] I'd snack on it whilst I fended them off tbh. I like Renton's idea of using one as a weapon like. Pick one up and spin him round, using his head to club his counterparts. Put me down for 25 to start off with, but you can keep some more behind a gate and let them out when I've got this lot down to single figures.

Chicken Piri Piri.

Am I still in my car? 133371[/snapback] No. Unarmed combat, to the death. 133378[/snapback] 230 all at once? They'd swarm you man. You'd be dead in minutes. I reckon anything above 20 and it could start to become unmanageable.

But the only thing not relative is light, so you can only talk relative to something else. Anyway, leave me alone, I'm too busy conducting experiments on me scalextric to discuss this. 133376[/snapback] I used to come pretty close to the speed of light on my scalextric figure of 8 standard issue track.

Am I still in my car?

No, relative to a standing position you're both doing 70, relative to a passenger in the car, the other car is doing 140, assuming you're both travelling exactly towards or away from each other. I think. 133360[/snapback] I wouldn't bother Gemmill about such matters. His complete failure to comprehend what an autonym is reveals his true level of intelligence. 133363[/snapback] Fluffy is an autonym. FACT!

No, relative to a standing position you're both doing 70, relative to a passenger in the car, the other car is doing 140, assuming you're both travelling exactly towards or away from each other. I think. 133360[/snapback] Relative yes, but our actual speed is only 70mph. Have you drawn a picture this time, or are you using matchbox cars?

They still aren't travelling faster than the speed of light though, regardless of their speeds relative to one another. If we cross on the motorway and are each doing 70mph, we're still only doing 70mph when we cross. 133353[/snapback] If I hit you head on and we were both doing 70 mph, it would be equivalent to crashing into you whilst stationary at 140 mph, would it not? Jesus wept, and I'm supposed to be a scientist. I'll either have to take the word of all these physicists based on faith, or accept that you are infact all alien androids. 133357[/snapback] That's more to do with force than speed though surely. We're still only doing 70mph. Besides, I'd walk away unscathed. 133358[/snapback] Your Mazda would disintegrate. 133359[/snapback] I'd tip your Smart car over Geoff Capes style when I got out btw.

They still aren't travelling faster than the speed of light though, regardless of their speeds relative to one another. If we cross on the motorway and are each doing 70mph, we're still only doing 70mph when we cross. 133353[/snapback] If I hit you head on and we were both doing 70 mph, it would be equivalent to crashing into you whilst stationary at 140 mph, would it not? Jesus wept, and I'm supposed to be a scientist. I'll either have to take the word of all these physicists based on faith, or accept that you are infact all alien androids. 133357[/snapback] That's more to do with force than speed though surely. We're still only doing 70mph. Besides, I'd walk away unscathed.

They still aren't travelling faster than the speed of light though, regardless of their speeds relative to one another. If we cross on the motorway and are each doing 70mph, we're still only doing 70mph when we cross.

Is that how they make the fetching snakeskin loafers that I wear to the match?

Getting paid £90k a week or whatever AND getting to eat chocolate while you play football!? Life doesn't get any better than that tbh.

Correct; I've drawn a picture, now my head hurts. 133332[/snapback] Scan it and get it posted, you gimp. I was joking about them kissing one another btw, you eejits!

Do they end up kissing one another?

60 gigs of heavy rhythmic bass tbh.

I bet you formed a v-sign inside your coat pocket as you cowered your way past them. Thinking to yourself "Have some of that! You have no idea what I'm doing inside my pock...PLEASE DON'T HIT ME!!!"

Is fly an autonym?

"Stand Up if you Love Shearer"? I can just see Shepherd smugly grinning, thinking "If that isn't this lot telling me that they want Shearer as the next manager, then I don't know what is".