Gemmill

Now that is a loser speech I'd like to watch.

Debbonaire DOWN! Must be such a kick in the teeth for her and Ashworth.

John Curtice "Labour's advance is relatively modest. This is an election the Conservatives lost, rather than Labour won" So there's your narrative. 160 seat majority projected, but zero credit for Labour.

BBC has updated its forecast and Reform are now expected to only get 4 seats. So aye, maybe spending the whole night talking about them wasn't the best idea. It's now: LAB: 405 CON: 154 LD: 48 SNP 6 REF: 4

Whoa Jonathan Ashworth loses to an independent. Holy shit.

The absolute bellends that worship him screaming down the rest of the result and shouting "unlucky mate!" as the Labour result was read out. A kinder, friendlier politics.

Corbyn win. Magic Granddad is back!

I've just put the Sky News YouTube channel on. I'm liking it so far - relegates the studio pictures to the bottom right and the rest of the screen is live results.

Here's Jeremy Vine again. What a fucking prick.

Hexham goes red for the first time in 100 years. Opperman out.

Labour's fault tbh. They either should have deselected her ages ago or let her run. Lesson for Starmer to learn here cos they've handed a win to the prick IDS.

Ugh. IDS wins. Shaheen and Labour split the vote. Stupid cunts.

Some of the hats on these returning officers. Iceberg Slim would have baulked at the one in the Shapps result.

Yep, SHAPPS DOWN. GET THE FUCK IN! The inventor of the supermajority becomes it's first big victim.

Shapps is on now. Expected to lose. The first major dickhead could be about to fall.

The Tories don't look like getting to 131 and Reform don't look like getting to 13.

Myrie and Kuennsberg absolutely exultant that Starmer's majority is down. I think they're just checking whether this actually disqualifies him from being PM. More as we get it.

All coverage is about to go mental cos Clacton is about to declare and Nigel Farage is set to be declared the People's Prime Minister by all broadcasters. Starmer's seat being declared. Watch the BBC cut his speech short to go to Clacton.

The brains behind Teresa Mary's 2017 campaign, Nick Timothy, has won his seat. So that's something for Labour to worry about.

"Labour's night so far!" Says Clive Myrie. Listen, balance is important, who knows what happens from this point in.

Galloway didn't even appear on stage for the result to be read out, the absolutely pathetic fanny.

I bought way too much food BTW. Pork pie has gone though. And some crisps and olives.

Na. Is that gonna go Reform if it doesn't go to him though? I mean I'll left them have one back for the bantz, I suppose.