Gemmill

Have you watched The Long Shadow? It's on itvx. All about the Yorkshire Ripper. It must be Yorkshire Wrong'Un Awareness Month.

"Now then now then" was exactly how I opened the negotiations with my lass.

@wykikitoon Have you and your mates held your watch party for the new Savile drama yet? Trying to convince my lass we should watch it, but in hindsight I think doing a Jimmy Savile impersonation throughout the conversation might have been a mistake.

"Keep these things THE DAMN HELL away from me, darling!"

Dogs absolutely love me. I'd be holding court in the canteen, playing pool and cards with them and stuff.

"The pros and cons of having enormous biceps."

Newcastle cat and dog shelter are taking on at the minute. (but seriously, good luck with the job search)

"Your specialist subject?" "Newcastle United's ticketing system, October 7 2021 to present day."

Professor Tickets PhD, at it again.

This fucking fanny wheezing cos a dog had a slash next to him.

Aye. Needs a rest for a couple of weeks, I reckon.

Size 12 here baby.

Me and Dave are such modern men.

Similar crotch situations. "Y'all lookin' to get your pasties smashed? Reckon I might could he'p you out there, ma'am."

When he came to pick up the guitar for his kid, MF looked more Phil wrecked in The Arches than Grant.

For the record, I go looking hot as shit in cowboy boots and a stetson.

Gloom, sorry to hear about your family getting caught up in this fucking insanity. Humans are such fucking bellends.

FUCK YOU ZULU!

This is me and you CT, living La Dolce Vita. While these fucking plebs climb hills, worrying where they're gonna have their next shit. WE'RE WALKING LIKE IN LA DOLCE VITA THIS TIME WE GOT IT RIGHT

Well I assumed there was when I heard the RIDICULOUS scores they were running up to qualify for the QFs. Rubbish. That's what it is. Give me Beckham looking hot as shit any day of the week.

I don't think he hates her, I think he just thinks there's something not right, maybe too perfect about her. Whenever she comes up on his radio show he references her as Satan's representative on earth.

Katherine Jenkins Or Satan's representative on earth, as Frank Skinner calls her.