Females on the road.

[Craig 6381]

Far be it from me to cast aspersions on the undoubted talents of the female driver and I know there's a generalisation that they're all shite but........

 

Monday night, I'd just finished football and stopped at the nearest petrol station to fill up on the way home. Next thing I know, a Jeep Cherokee comes racing into the forecourt with some blonde tart behind the wheel with her mobile glued between her hand and ear.

 

She tries to turn the wheel one handed 'Karate Kid wax on, wax off style', completely fucked it up and twatted straight into the fuel pump knocking it half across the forecourt.

 

Cue about 20 blokes in BP uniforms running from all directions almost like ants when you pour boiling water over them - it was fucking comical. They're about 2 feet away from each other and screaming at each other telling them what to do. They shut the fuel system down so the rest of us immediately can't get any more and a couple of minutes later, the fire brigade turn up.

 

In the meantime, the dozy bint is still sat in the car, still on the phone! Worse still, when she's finally finished, she gets out, notices everyone is looking at her and she just says "What??"

 

[Magma 0]

Wot a fucking moron.

[Craig 6381]

Get more of your tales posted in here, I'm sure Bridget could contribute

[luckyluke 2]

A Jeep Cherokee? Bridget's doing well for herself.

[Super_Steve_Howey 0]

Women can multi-task - they can be absolutely shit at two things at once

[Guest alex]

Sounds like a wannabe WAG to me. The rest of the petrol station should have been evacuated and set alight. Bet she'd still be on the phone.

Edited May 16, 2007 by alex

[Guest alex]

Women can multi-task - they can be absolutely shit at two things at once

Still getting the cold shoulder?

[JawD 48]

Had an arguement with a wife the other morning. I was driving through Kirby Stephen on my way across the A66 to the M6. Anyway, my side of the road was clear, the other side had half of its lane taken up by parked cars. This was for around 200m. I was about 1/3 of the way up when an oncoming car decided that half of my lane wasnt enough (leaving about 3ft to the parked cars for whatever reason). For me to get past, Id have had to mount the curb so I stopped. On stopping I waved the car past suggesting they moved over a bit more and in doing so they pulled level with my window.

 

This wife driving shouted that she had right of way and that I shouldnt have came past the cars until she was past. I politely reminded her that a) she wasnt driving a fucking tank today a bus could get past the other gap she left and c) I had right of way not her as she was encroaching into my lane.

 

I think I got my tactic wrong as before I got to point C she had stopped listening and started ranting at me being a typical bloke. Then started saying she had right of way as she had to pass the parked cars and that she left the room incase one of the doors opened

 

I think I actually started laughing at this point and just drove off shaking my head in disbelief.

[Guest alex]

Had an arguement with a wife the other morning. I was driving through Kirby Stephen on my way across the A66 to the M6. Anyway, my side of the road was clear, the other side had half of its lane taken up by parked cars. This was for around 200m. I was about 1/3 of the way up when an oncoming car decided that half of my lane wasnt enough (leaving about 3ft to the parked cars for whatever reason). For me to get past, Id have had to mount the curb so I stopped. On stopping I waved the car past suggesting they moved over a bit more and in doing so they pulled level with my window.

 

This wife driving shouted that she had right of way and that I shouldnt have came past the cars until she was past. I politely reminded her that a) she wasnt driving a fucking tank today a bus could get past the other gap she left and c) I had right of way not her as she was encroaching into my lane.

 

I think I got my tactic wrong as before I got to point C she had stopped listening and started ranting at me being a typical bloke. Then started saying she had right of way as she had to pass the parked cars and that she left the room incase one of the doors opened

 

I think I actually started laughing at this point and just drove off shaking my head in disbelief.

PMTTBH

[JawD 48]

Who, me or the wife

 

Aye, you're prob right though

[jimburst 0]

Had an arguement with a wife the other morning. I was driving through Kirby Stephen on my way across the A66 to the M6. Anyway, my side of the road was clear, the other side had half of its lane taken up by parked cars. This was for around 200m. I was about 1/3 of the way up when an oncoming car decided that half of my lane wasnt enough (leaving about 3ft to the parked cars for whatever reason). For me to get past, Id have had to mount the curb so I stopped. On stopping I waved the car past suggesting they moved over a bit more and in doing so they pulled level with my window.

 

This wife driving shouted that she had right of way and that I shouldnt have came past the cars until she was past. I politely reminded her that a) she wasnt driving a fucking tank today a bus could get past the other gap she left and c) I had right of way not her as she was encroaching into my lane.

 

I think I got my tactic wrong as before I got to point C she had stopped listening and started ranting at me being a typical bloke. Then started saying she had right of way as she had to pass the parked cars and that she left the room incase one of the doors opened

 

I think I actually started laughing at this point and just drove off shaking my head in disbelief.

 

I live there...and my mother had just the same experience with a guy driving a black car up that road (south road) I hope it wasnt my mum being an arse

[Sima 0]

Sounds like a wannabe WAG to me. The rest of the petrol station should have been evacuated and set alight. Bet she'd still be on the phone.

 

If only......

[Ketsbaia 0]

It's women's sense of direction, or lack of it, that annoys me.

 

At our local shopping centre/70's style eyesore there's a small one way road with two lanes for the cars turning left at the end and the cars turning right. One day i'm pulling one of the car park when I notice some daft bint in a 4x4, phone in hand (It must be some sort of prerequisit for bad, women drivers) was coming the wrong way up the one way system. People were tooting, flashing etc. and she looked throughly bemused as to why people were waving their hands in the air at her.

 

MetroCentre multi-story carparks have fuck off white arrows painted on the floor so that everyone knows which way to go, apart from this one woman. I was driving along, trying to find a space which is pretty much like trying to find a needle in a haystack, when some stupid bint comes bombing the wrong way around the corner. I stop, she stops. I look at her, waiting for her to reverse but all she does is gesture at me to reverse back. This isn't the first time this has happen so I get out of my car, stand next to the white arrow and point. She gets the hint, reverses, gives me a look that only a Nazi could give the Jews and I drive past making a very deliberate attempt to shake my head so she notices.

[Renton 18552]

Now, would Craig have posted this if it had been a bloke, or entitled the thread "Males on the road"?

 

I realise this is entirely hypothetical and that would never happen in reality of course.

[Guest alex]

If you'd seen Bramble attempt to drive his X5 you wouldn't be saying that.

[Renton 18552]

If you'd seen Bramble attempt to drive his X5 you wouldn't be saying that.

 

If I'm honest if I saw me trying to parallel park I wouldn't say that.

[Tooj 17]

If you'd seen Bramble attempt to drive his X5 you wouldn't be saying that.

 

If I'm honest if I saw me trying to reverse park I wouldn't say that.

FYP.

[Craig 6381]

Now, would Craig have posted this if it had been a bloke, or entitled the thread "Males on the road"?

 

I realise this is entirely hypothetical and that would never happen in reality of course.

 

Stop being a petty PC fucker

 

Another one that I know of was wne my mate was in the car park at the local tesco. Just come out of the filling station, he went to go back towards the store which is a one way road, comes round a corner which has high hedges around it and bang, some woman in a Volvo drives straight into the front of him, staves the front end of his car in and it's a definite write off.

 

Gets out of the car half chuckling to himself about the fact that it's a woman going the wrong way down a one way road but the expression soon changes to disbelief when she starts having a go at him!

 

10 minutes of her ranting later, he finally gets to point out the white arrow which denoted she was in the wrong. Would she have it? Would she fuck, she said she'd been driving in that car park for years and that she'd always driven that way so it must be right. Claimed that vandals must have scrubbed out the arrow head and painted it on the other way round!

 

Sad thing of all was, it was classed as private road and not governed by highway law. The arrows and signs are guideline, not compulsory and they deduced that it was 50:50 because if he'd been driving slower, he'd have been able to avoid it! She of course saw that as a moral victory!

[Guest alex]

Petty aye, not PC though

[Craig 6381]

Petty aye, not PC though

 

Well he's making suggestions of 'sexism' - all comes under the 'politcally correct' umbrella these days, does it not?

[Guest alex]

Petty aye, not PC though

 

Well he's making suggestions of 'sexism' - all comes under the 'politcally correct' umbrella these days, does it not?

He was pretty sexist himself (2nd paragraph). Wake up will you?

[Craig 6381]

You got a camera trained on me or something...?

 

Only had 2 hours sleep last night.

[Sima 0]

Now, would Craig have posted this if it had been a bloke, or entitled the thread "Males on the road"?

 

I realise this is entirely hypothetical and that would never happen in reality of course.

 

Stop being a petty PC fucker

 

Another one that I know of was wne my mate was in the car park at the local tesco. Just come out of the filling station, he went to go back towards the store which is a one way road, comes round a corner which has high hedges around it and bang, some woman in a Volvo drives straight into the front of him, staves the front end of his car in and it's a definite write off.

 

Gets out of the car half chuckling to himself about the fact that it's a woman going the wrong way down a one way road but the expression soon changes to disbelief when she starts having a go at him!

 

10 minutes of her ranting later, he finally gets to point out the white arrow which denoted she was in the wrong. Would she have it? Would she fuck, she said she'd been driving in that car park for years and that she'd always driven that way so it must be right. Claimed that vandals must have scrubbed out the arrow head and painted it on the other way round!

 

Sad thing of all was, it was classed as private road and not governed by highway law. The arrows and signs are guideline, not compulsory and they deduced that it was 50:50 because if he'd been driving slower, he'd have been able to avoid it! She of course saw that as a moral victory!

 

So that's where LM has been? Cross dressing and going to Tesco.

Edited May 16, 2007 by Sima

[Guest alex]

A similar thing happened to me once. Except it was her fault and I ended up getting the blame. I payed someone to vandalised her car and considered that a moral victory.

[Tooj 17]

A similar thing happened to me once. Except it was her fault and I ended up getting the blame. I payed someone to vandalised her car and considered that a moral victory.