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Lovely Bay window as it happens. @adios will be along any minute to critique your fence.

So, had decorators at the new gaf all last week, painting all rooms downstairs and the hall, stairs and upstairs landing. Me and Mrs.F agreed on the colour scheme in advance, which was this throughout. Simple, smart etc. Until the morning the decorators arrived to start. As I’m letting them in, going over the job, phone call from Dear Mrs.F. She’s changed her mind and wants a different colour in the main sitting room. “No problem” says I through gritted teeth, tell the lads, they laugh, but no worries, problem solved and everyone’s happy. Three days later, they finish, pack up and send the invoice. Mrs.F, loves the grey scheme, really loves it. Goes in to the sitting room, who’s colour she changed at the last minute. You know what’s coming. Mrs. F… Me… Un… fucking… real.

Yeah but 1.75 for Cole was a lot then, it’s basically nowt now. He gets a kicking because he is a bit “fancy” and isn’t a world beater. But for £2 million, he grafts his tits off, has a little bit of quality and finished top scorer. I would rather have a £30 million pound number 10 of course, but he has been vital to us.

Before this goes off the rails, who does the best World Cup preview magazine/online guide these days?

had a bit of a hipster douche craft beer gathering on saturday. some of the standout tipples below:

Got in the Opta team of the season

That's because of the large surface area it's stretched out over

That 3 v 0 hammering of Chelsea resulting in a top 10 finish was the final nail in their coffin.Let there be no doubt that they all watched the game because we are their lives. 2 in a row for the Bungalow of Light residents.Ellis FTM Short,a legend on Tyneside.

Southgate is not a risk taker. At all. Too emotionally damaged from that penalty miss, I would guess.

Aye “there will be no surprises” in the squad selection Southgate has said, so basically it’ll be in line with recent friendly squads. Feel bad for Shelvey as the lad looked like he was buzzing when asked about possibly featuring for England after the Chelsea match. The reality is Southgate won’t have even gave him a second thought, which is pathetic. What is even more pathetic is that a horrifically limited player like Jake Livermore will be selected over him. Tbh he’d probably select Wilshere over him despite the lad only playing about a third of this season and his issues with injury being likely a bigger issue than bad discipline from Shelvey (as tbh Shelvey hasn’t been bad 2nd half of the season with that and would likely only be a 2nd option but at least he’d be an available plan B unlike sick note).

And hold on, who was knocking one out behind your head @Monkeys Fist?

That's what caused his alopecia then? RIP Margot Kidder.

You win.

I might have knocked one out on the back of your head, then

Once I’ve moved in to the new gaff, I’ll try one whilst admiring my stained glass.

Rolla cola with a splash of malibu is my usual tipple.

What proportion of Rum to Asda Coke do you generally mix ?

You'll have paid a few quid for them? I finally got my bottle of Chairmen's Reserve after four attempts at delivery. Haven't had a chance to try it out yet.

It's only funny if you design it yourself iirc

Aye, but I didn’t commission the fucker, it was already there when I bought it. I think the grey and white will complement the dead seagulls in the chimney though.

Is that your house? Is that your STAINED GLASS WINDOW

Really?? Thought you said you were fucking off, Richard? Is it really that dull in Stourbridge?

Except his coke dealer... everyone needs to make a living.

This lot are decent.

Er, the article you linked to from The Times is an article from The Times is it? Cheers for that. Also, you articulated an opinion about the article. I wouldn't have normally pointed that out either but it seems like you think everyone bar you missed that.

I don't think she has a point. All political tribes lash out at each other on Twitter. Actually, if your point is that twitter is to civilised debate what a dictatorship is to democracy, then I'm in agreement. But if your point is that middle aged men are forming opinions based on the rantings of 20 year olds on Twitter, than I despair for them. And the writer of that article. Fuck it, and the Times in general. And you.

I like Perez, but I'd like an upgrade on him obviously. Trouble is, if it's a straight choice between spending whatever a quality #10 would cost on his replacement, or putting that money towards a quality striker and his wages, I'd stick with Perez and get shot of Gayle/Joselu/Mitrovic/all 3.

Good piece on Laurent Robert and his time here from These Football Times: https://thesefootballtimes.co/2018/05/14/the-chaotic-charm-of-newcastle-cult-hero-laurent-robert/

Next time you burst your yolk over a nice bit of gammon, think of Kellyanne.

These just arrived. It's going to be a long wait until the weekend.

Aye Lejeune got injured by Kane in that first game and Lacelles came on to replace him.

I think it perfectly highlights the immature behaviour of the young, middle class, corbynista, self righteous online presence. Its no wonder the working class are flooding to the tories.

He is just having a sly dig at Rafa tbh. Benitez himself often enough stated that his side is not a genuine Ptemierleague team. So Ashley is basically accusing him of being derogatory towards his own players. Also stating that Benitez can have all the money generated is the repeat of the lie he fed him at the start of the season.

I think (and perhaps Southgate agrees) that he wouldn't be as effective as international sides tend to sit a bit deeper than ones in the Premier League and this would be even more the case if England were chasing a game. I still think it's crackers he can't even get into the squad given the other options though

THEY LAUGED AT US WHEN WE WENT DOWN WHO THE FUCK IS LAUGHING NOW? / essembee/ftm.

Honestly, the atmosphere today was amazing, reminiscent of the best of Robson and even Keegan days. Nothing more the fans could do to keep Rafa here. I continued my run as a talisman today. I missed the dogshit Huddersfield game but got to this one. We were fucking outstanding today. Defence, midfield and attack, we ripped Chelsea a new one; they simply couldn't live with us. If this club ever won any trophy I swear the roof of the Milburn would blow off!

Margot Kidder, THE Lois Lane. R. I. P