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The secret diary of Lee Ryder aged 44 and a half 01/10/2018 Alreet diary? Been almost a year since ah was in the kooh i noor restaurant in the bigg market disguised as an Indian waiter in me never ending quest to get the scoops on the high flyers at the cathedral on the hill, St James' park and one Michael Wallace Ashley, all for me loyal puntas who live for their daily NUFC fix. Why bring that up again you might ask? Well, not for the first time in me award winning career ah was going fine dining again to fill mesel up with some scrumpchis, err, scrumptchi, err some lovely NUFC story for me back page in the Ronald Gill. Ah heard off one of me new narks in the NUFC squad that Mike Ashley was tekking rafa and the lads oot for some scran as he was starting to feel the heat from the protests and wanted some good publicity. Me nark, who ah can't name, let on where they'd be, so ah thanked young Jamie, 'Sterrys-in-their-eyes' and hot footed it doon to North Shields Sambucas restaurant with me false tache on and glasses and managed to get a seat near all the squad, Rafa and the Buckinghamshire whale. The waiters handed oot two menus, the proper one and a 3 course special one which was only £3.99 for three courses. Mike piped up, "Rafa, me old Iberian sausage, tell the boys they can have anyfing they want off the £3.99 menu. Anyfing, money's no object!" And ah thought to mesel that must be almost £150 with drinks chucked in! That would've been me weekly wage when the great Sir Bobby was in charge! They'd just finished ordering and the waiter was heading to the kitchen when Jacob Murphy had changed his mind and wanted Spaghetti bolognese instead of a Hawaiian pizza. Ah thought the kid was as decisive on his food as he was with his final ball but when it looked too late Javier Manquillo piped up, "Don't worry, Jacob, I'll intercept him before he gets to the door and tell him what you want!" Manquillo then darted doon the long table, got past Rafa's and Ashley's chairs and was just about to tap the waiter's shoulder when the Italian waiter side stepped him went through the kitchen door and Manquillo crashed onto his arse. Nee wonder we were struggling, ah thought! Ah got a few bits and pieces for me back page, ah wasn't in the best place to hear everything but ah thought ah'd just do a '5 things we learned about a 3 course Italian Toon slap up' and clocked who ate what, when ah noticed what looked like Rafa coaching Joselu at the dining table! Wow! He just doesn't let up and is a fanatic. Ah pretended to gan forra piss so ah could hear his advice to the Spanish hitman. "Please, Joselu, I know it is not your favourite but mike has paid good money for it, can you not finish it?" Matt Ritchie then shouted out that he couldn't finish anything before the unhappy Spaniard striker broke down in tears. Just as things were kicking off Mike diffused the situation by necking a pint, farting loudly, shouting out 'more tea, vicar' and then spewed up in an alcove! He then got out his phone and argued with the owner about getting two for one on his voucher cloud app but Luigi wasn't having it and said it was already on special! Eventually a deal was done and a happy Mike got a further 25% off while the players picked straws to see which three of them would have to come back next week for an hours photo op with sambuca's customers. Ah thought to mesel that yes, he gets stick, but fair play to him for boosting the teams morale with this night oot. Ah just knew the players lapped it up and would now go on a winning run and ah just knew me puntas would be dining out on me 5 star, shit hot Newcastle United craic! Ryder does it again! Lol. Laters.

I think it’s genuine tbh, as Rayvin said I can’t see Kenyon being the type to be part of Ashley’s shite attempts at getting rid of pressure. The only things I doubt are Ashley being genuinely interested in selling the club, and anyone being interested enough to put up with the bloke during negotiations.

Club employee: "Ladies and gentleman, I give you Peter Kenyon, chairman of the consortium to buy out Newca....." Knight Ryder: "....Ah'll just stop you there, bonny lad, Kenyon needs nee introduction up here, fucking capiche, wor kid?"

This thread, bullshit, reality or deliberately leaked to test the water? All scenarios wouldn't surprise me. The main reason I'd suspect bullshit is that I can quite believe they have no real plan and it isn't deliberate, more incompetence but maybe that's just how it started and they're going to take advantage of the deregulation at the very least.

Great thread. Needs a bump. Admitted raping another female. https://mobile.twitter.com/derWinterbach/status/1046478115734720513

You are such a Mackem cunt. I was talking to a lawyer who works for Nissan at the weekend. He told me in no uncertain terms they are leaving wearside after the current models expire. This is the reality of the situation. Honda, Toyota etc all in the same boat. How's this going to affect your work? I fully expect your fingers are in your ears. But you will reap what you sow, fatty.

And one which we can leave of our volition

In what world does crowds going down by a maybe a third make him sell when Ashley also has this going on? http://www.true-faith.co.uk/why-did-mike-ashley-buy-newcastle-united/ Hitting sports direct is precisely the right tactic. That is his real cash cow and that is all he cares about. All revenues from catering in the ground go to sub contractor sodexo. What are you actually doing yourself @trooper to get rid of the cunt?

He first saw action in the Battle of Fulwell as one of Lee Ryder’s foot soldiers.

Well, there is that.

BBC iPlayer is showing the two episodes of the silent war about the US, UK and Soviet nuclear sub's and their cat and mouse, cold war tracking of each other again. It's a good show. Also watched a programme on there of the Spanish flu pandemic of 1918-19 which, considering the numbers of deaths involved, (50m plus), it always amazes me how little of the subject has been mentioned, taught, discussed etc. The numbers involved were staggering. (Maybe Farage could've stood in front of a memorial or something with a sad face about it if only it was just confined to Britain rather than a global outbreak?)

It's not necessarily a monetary gain that the other owners are looking for. I don't buy this "any attention is good attention" line. He may be a household name, but he's renowned for being a terrible employer, for a shop that hawks cheap tat. And now the people who know him as the owner of Newcastle United know him as an unambitious, lying, embarrassment. How is that good for business?

He's got enough money to continue to take the piss out of us,even if we go down.He'll pocket the £130m + SKY money at the end of the season then cut his cloth accordingly in the Championship.As you say,we'll just have to hope a determined buyer comes forward and pays fat man what he wants.

Fwiw, the "you fat bastard" song yesterday was the loudest yet. Talk of boycotts is easy from non-paying fans. It'll make Fuck all difference anyway. Mike the cunt Ashley will sell when he wants, and we really can't change this

Here put your glasses on

Take a hint, Clint. Fuck off.

This from FIFA 19 take that you bastard

Man Utd pretty much the only thing in the professional game giving me any pleasure atm

Someone's been on one slice of toast a day.

Cancer free. Bring me all the beers!