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Bit needy that mate, he's just called you a prick

Whichever evil murderers buy us, I’d like to see us sponsored by Huawei. It’s a perfect fit. Huawei the lads.

Alright Jim Davidson

They should make the fit part a bleep test, we'd have been spared years of anguish.

Not going to happen. More likely to get some decent server space from Ant.

Who reckons all the leaks that scupper the deals have the same source? Only one side is common to all of them.

Of the opinion it won’t happen anyway.

As the late Terry Jones (almost) said as the mother of Brian to the three wise men bearing gifts....'Well, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. And thanks a lot for M'bappe and the twenty virgins. But don't worry too much about the suicide jihadists next time, all right? Thank you. Goodbye. Well, weren't they nice? Out of their bloody minds, but still......'

He’ll never again set foot in the mosque on the hill.

Mike Ashley is just as bad as MBS, he just lacks the opportunity to adequately demonstrate it.

B If this goes ahead It’s the end for me...I’m rapidly falling out of love with corporate 21st century football anyway but this would just about put the tin hat on it. A game refereed from a truck in a car park financed by the cunts who brought you Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda. No fuckin thanks.

Rob Resenbrink, who I pretended to be at every break time in the autumn of 197’8....RIP

Doesn't even have to be about him having a massive cock. It could just be a song about him being mint at licking out.

Think it was Howay on here who noticed how he goes more sophisticated in his patter and appearance (glasses worn etc 😂 ), when he’s in a roll and starts going all geezer when the chips are down. Could be the start of the latter phase

Who? (Just saving HMHM the bother of asking)

And still the helicopters carrying the heaviest of people continue to remain airborne.

I’d love to be a fly on the wall in Leazes’ padded cell when he gets wind of this.

Brilliant Orange by David Winner is the definitive account of Dutch football

I don't know much about the Dutch but I'm thinking that they won't stand that charlatan for very long. What a knobhead.

They both agree on Gateshead though

i appreciate this is hardly an exact science, however just for a chuckle.... playing for a premier league team against 3rd division opponents our £40m (i know) brazilian is notchimg up goals at the incredible rate of 1 in 3. equate this scintilating strike rate to the 27 games played by our mackem mates regular opponents and he'd be on 9. a quick look at the third division scoring chart means he'd be in joint 11th place with 7 other fuckers i've never heard of. well, apart from sunderland's chris maguire, who i think they all hated but now probably think is the dogs bollocks because he's better than charlie wyke. interestingly, joelinton's 1 goal for every 270 minutes played compares very poorly with those he's vying with in 11th place; so perhaps he's not even that good? lastly, top goal scorer in the 3rd division is ivan toney on 18. twice as many as that projected for our transfer record shattering striker. toney is knocking them in at the rate of 1 in 134 minutes, twice as quickly as our former hoffenheim, bundesliga superstar. just for further comparison, toney reportedy cost peterborough in the region of £650,000 i wonder if things are a bit strained between our mikey and nickson?

"May I ask who is responsible for the preponderance of these common Gaels within this community?"

What soft power play?

Just judging it on how it plays out domestically isn’t really taking into account the whole picture though. The US does far more harm than Saudi Arabia

America is fucked up on many levels (guns/pro-life/religious nutters etc) and it has become more so under trump with the deplorable scenes on the Mexican border, but you’re going to have to explain how it is a more psychotic place than Saudi Arabia. Last time I checked the yanks weren’t stoning, lashing or beheading their citizens for crimes such as sorcery or apostasy, nor where they branding atheists terrorists. That said, the US, and the UK, help them carpet bomb kids in Yemen. We prop up a vile regime and will do so until the oil runs dry. So maybe it doesn’t matter

Not to turn this into a politics debate, but that's a very one sided view. Over half of the income tax base in the UK is from the top 5% of earners. And while there is clear exploitation of minimum wage earners at companies like Amazon, they and other multinational companies also generate thousands of mid and high paying jobs. There are also people who've built their fortunes totally online in the digital space who you'd be hard pressed to seriously admonish morally for the clear premeditated exploitation of others. It's also seen as almost as a given that multi millionaires and billionaires engage in philanthropy. Obviously they can use charity work as a tax right off, but as long as the charity work is being done that's all that should matter. John Caudwell the owner of phones4U as far as I'm aware is decent example of a not "evil" billionaire. He's been incredibly dedicated to personally undertaking charity projects going on decades now. Edit: Just read that Caudwell might be an antivaxxer, so I retract a portion of my praise. Not that admittedly dodgy views on vaccination should erase the amount of time and money he's put into charity work.

If he manages to fuck up an offer from the Saudi sovereign wealth fund worth $300bn then he’s never ever going to sell us.

Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah! Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah! Ashley finally splashed the cash On a player who’s total gash Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah! Joelinton! Woa-oa-oah! His shooting makes me cringe He’d rather munch some minge

I say that about every player we sign though. I’ve had a 95% success rate with it.

I dont believe any single takeover attempt has been made up rumours, I believe Ashley strings it along everytime and then pulls the plug because hes Mike Ashley.

The difference between this and the other takeovers is that it involves parties with proper money rather than some peasant struggling to put together £300m and it has come from the WSJ rather than Keith Bishop having a word with some friendly journalist. It’s more likely to happen than previous failed takeovers but that’s not saying much.

The Fish likes Jack Vettriano iirc so you’re probably right. When I say ‘likes’ I mean I had to tell him who the hackneyed cunt was so he could use one of his paintings for his avatar.

Nah, he’s just one of those who likes to bang on about how long he’s had his season ticket to anyone within earshot down the pub. Proper soopafan. Obviously his football knowledge is nonpareil too, as his crack on here demonstrates

That’s the TCP of the gods you philistine!

Yeah I’m in the process of becoming chartered, an MSc wouldn’t add anything to that but we still fancy it tbh

Hopefully Ashley and Charnley try to squeeze an extra 10 million out of it and get invited to the Saudi embassy to smooth things out

So a murderous, theocratic dictator investor fronted by Stavley who's Prince Andrew's ex girlfriend. We might need to get Max Clifford on this lads to smooth out the edges a little... oh shit he's dead isn't he

Well if it means Lee Ryder going into SJP for an exclusive scoop and subsequently being dismembered then I’m all for it.

Hated football till Italia 90 and/or sky took over and couldn't tell you any match anecdotes from before then and didn't know many players pre-1992 types.

Aye, who knew your lower intestine could just drop out like that?

Aye, my mate had to buy us Hold Steady tickets The deal was if he got a shot on target, he'd buy me a pint. If he scored, he'd buy the tickets. Cheers, Leon.

I researched it.

The fuck you got against him?

who the fuck is that?

It's now like Everton trying to take the piss out of Liverpool.

KD/J69 will be fewmin at this demotion.

What a completely unexpected surprise Tell you what mate, it’s cut down into nice bite sized tabloid paragraphs. if you feel that strongly, take them one by one and explain why you feel that Mr Reade’s column has come out of the rear end of a horse. Back yourself up...

Are you going to the game once you’ve finished that?