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“Darby Carnty? Yeah buy em for a quid and save money on the tie”

Leave Wykiki out of this.

Watching him on that swing, pretending to like it but thinking, 'Don't fall off and injure yourself, for fuck sake, man!'

It’s quite the reaction for a lady who I presume swallows cum for a living.

Give me that can back, I’ll need it again later

The look on the middle one’s face when she tastes it.

Captain Caveman passing round one of the few cans of Rich Energy in existence, and it's probably past it's sell by date.

His son was in my class at school. He was a right cunt Rip

Vurnon Anita signing in this scenario.....

Michael Owen on as a pundit. Suddenly Nadine Dorries looks like a sage.

Thought I'd 'slide' into an ITK twitter chat.

Middle aged Winona

If anyone finds her porn-alike just keep it yourselves, thanks CT.

Honestly, Alex, I get the piss taking side of it, obviously but I don't think they're relevant enough to warrant even that!

Thought I’d Google Casey to see if there were any articles by him seeing as he’s a “journalist” ….obviously there’s jack shit but there is this gang of bog hopping turf cutters gibbering away for over an hour on YouTube…. I only watched the first 10 mins but despite his strong protestations the bareley comprehensible Casey does nothing to dispel the thought that he’s just making educated guesses…don’t know how many Twitter followers you need to start making money but he’s on 10.1K this morning.. (this may have been posted in January apologies if so)

He's a thick as fuck, bitter smoggy tbh. Good footballer when he had the occasional bout of fitness.

guaranteed it’s formed a cloying film on the roof of her mouth

Brexit etc has really fucked building social/affordable housing. We used to budget about £1500 per square meter when building social housing, and that was at the top end. Most of the jobs we are getting prices back for now are more like £3000 per square meter. Means we have to go back to homes England for more money as the viability doesn’t stack up financially, when you look at the rents we would charge for them once complete. Homes England have no extra money, so we either build less for the same money, change the way we assess viability which is a bit of bodge or charge higher rents which is getting into the realms of not really social housing rents. Loads of established contractors have gone bump due to cash flow issues and social housing providers are having to cut budgets left right and centre, all at a time where we are being told to build more and to meet new green standards for energy use. It’s going to get really messy.

Or get him into battering lasses?

So are you saying we need to make sure his sister-in-law is up for it before we sign him?

Is that his agent? Changed his tune hasnt he

I watch it because I'm somewhat obsessed by Winona, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else

That’s reassuring

Does that mean his injury wasn't as bad as first feared? I don't speak emoji.

Probabaly the stupidest thing I've ever wasted on, but I finally got the Hypnotoad finished.

Looks like Dan Walker in drag

Surely KD’s not old enough to be nostalgic for the 80s. Although 90s Chester-Le-Street was arguably indistinguishable from the 80s

My sister moved into a new build last year. It looks like it was chucked up. The skirting boards and seals around the house look like they were done by a blind man. I shudder to think how much effort goes into houses that aren't built to turn a profit...

I bet it’s rocketed since the takeover as people are excited about potential signings. However, if the comments are anything to go by, people following do so to take the piss / laugh at him

Not just a pretty face.

No. No. No.

It’s clear empirical evidence that doing yoga turns you into a massive cunt.

Nothing wrong with that 🙂

The only top I had readily available to change into was the jersey I had needed in the snow in Newcastle before we left. It was 40 degrees in Melbourne!

Someone take this kids football watching privileges off him

Good research Paul.

That Rojas kid had loads of groupies on twitter when almiron first joined, offers of tickets, 'great stuff Roberto' just for tweeting 'good morning NUFC fans' and shit like that. He actually came over for a game and twenty/thirty something year olds were wetting their knickers* talking about Greggs and bollocks with him. Why any attention seekers don't just pretend to be from whatever country one of our foreign players come from and say you're a big Newcastle fan instead of being a wum astounds me. If social media attention is your thing you'll be beating them off with a shitty stick. *And that was just the lads.

So .... you're sorry about the father but the son - they could exchange?

Went to his testimonial v NUFC, what a few days. RIP.

Pearson's latest update coming at you from BENIDORM! "Hi guys welcome to the channuw for anuvva excitun video. Fanks for stickun wiv the channuw guys, smash that like button and stand by for all the Newcastle transfer news and a sticky vicky update. Wew, what a woman guys, lit a lightbub up wiv just her fanny. Unbelievable guys."

I have faint recollections of us winning a trophy mate. we're nearly as rare as world war one veterans.

Seeing both your football team and your daughter fucked on the telly - all within a couple of weeks of each other. Chances of that?!