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This is our year lads, I can feel it. The Sela Cup is coming home!

Isn’t this also the name of your Etsy page?

3 – 0 And fuck him the throat stroking bollockless cunt.

I’m willing to give Targett some slack as he’s barely kicked a ball for about a year but we could do with him getting back to some amount of solidity before long

thumb in a softie?

5 points from 1 game, canny. Keep this form up and I can see us getting 100 plus points this season.

Especially when you consider that we got Gordon with his seven goals for half that price.

All the bairns had decent games. But Miley and Anderson really great to watch.

the whole idea of this “cup” is so that both XIs play 90 minutes

Wykiki in rare Southgate rage. Henderson is done man. When he signed that mega buck contract he knew his international career was over.

I've always wondered how rapists make it work. Like do they have a bonk on prior to giving chase or do they rub it up a bit after the catch? Sometimes I can't summon the mood no matter what, and others it just won't go down. I can see me being the ASM of the forum in this new direction we're going.

Tbf it won't be anywhere near as funny or entertaining as the mackem mockumentary one, which gave This is Spinal Tap a run for their money. I still laugh when I thinkof the WIll Grigg negotiations.

That’s a new Gordon and Tonali shirt for Adam P.

Thoughts and prayers. 🙏

The thing re: Man Utd at home was that whilst it wasn’t the cakewalk it was against Spurs, it was almost as dominant a performance and Man Utd were extremely flattered by the 2-0 score.

Thought Gordon did well today. But he needs to be finishing them chances.

Should have gone to Ingleton falls with the amount of rain that would have been in fulll flow.

Hopefully not the only goal from a corner we score this season

Can't help but be impressed every time I see Miley. He's a good player now, can't help but get excited for 2-3 years' time and he'll only be 20.

This Murphy at centre half looks decent considering he’s a left footer playing on the right of the two. Certainly doesn’t look too out of place

Great goal from Miggy, the one footed cunt.

GET IN

Soft twat 🙂

Rape is soooo last decade man. The most discerning monsters are all about amputation these days

We'll have to think about a name change to Rapetastic if this continues.

You and Adam P don’t count as multiple people

The little cunt must be costing his mam a fortune.

That’s the way Gemmill likes it.

No not at all, have you ever seen Gemmill and Adam P in the same room at the same time?

Hope you're not suggesting I'm remotely interested in the soiled undercrackers of Adweym Pwyearsohn.

Nice tribute to ASM from the nufc.com boys. Sums him up pretty well The sale of Allan Saint-Maximin comes just short of four years since his arrival on Tyneside for a claimed £18m fee from OGC Nice in his native France. Making the first of 111 Premier League appearances (85 starts) in a home defeat to Arsenal, Maxi got off the mark with a header away at Sheffield United that December - with 11 more to follow. His final stats read 124 games in all competitions and 13 goals. Rousing but inconsistent displays were interrupted by niggling injuries but evidence of his fitness came with a sensational strike in the FA Cup at Oxford United - prompting an infamous off-field fan celebration.... His second season followed a similar pattern, some eye-catching displays and availability issues that culminated in a positive COVID-19 test - although his place in the side was already under threat following off-field issues with Steve Bruce. But his performances towards the end of the campaign helped his side comfortably stay in the Premier League - a memorable goal at Burnley proving pivotal. The following season saw ASM become even more influential; his own displays a barometer for how well or badly the team collectively played. Quite simply, if he didn't play then neither did we. The arrival of Eddie Howe and a busy transfer window then took some of the pressure off Maxi, as goals and encouraging displays came from other sources. What proved to be his last competitive appearance for the club saw him last 69 minutes of the season closer at Stamford Bridge, while the final sighting of ASM in our colours came at Gateshead in this pre-season - bowing out with a goal and an assist. We have mixed feelings on the departure of a player whose presence and impact echoed the very best days of compatriots David Ginola, Laurent Robert and Hatem Ben Arfa - plus the unpredictability of Tino Asprilla. On his day he was untouchable; his devastating display in the 3-3 home draw against Manchester City and the last minute beauty scored at Wolves the high points of last season - although both came in August. His introduction as an impact substitute often roused the crowd and his colleagues, but the frustration of opting to shoot or continue his perpetual motion when a passing opportunity came was endlessly frustrating - not to mention losing possession in dangerous areas with colleagues committed to going forward. While there's understandable anguish from fans with no previous experience of losing a favourite player, the revival of this football club that is in no small part due to his input looks to have seen him depart. We've arguably seen the best of him when the big fish in our small pool and the time to sell is now - even if the amount received seems low. In times past we'd have given him a new five year contract. The trust level that Eddie Howe and the recruitment team enjoy means that people trust the process with Maxi's sale and the acquisition of Harvey Barnes - just nine months younger and less individualistic, but more adaptable (hopefully) on a collective team level. We were privileged to witness the mercurial talents of Maxi and grateful for the injection of excitement he provided in what really were austere times for Newcastle fans - and not just on the field. That lockdown restrictions prevented celebrations of his goals at Turf Moor and Old Trafford in person remains a frustration, while the Carabao Cup Final defeat becomes even more regrettable as being the nearest Maxi would ever come to lifting silverware here. Players with levels that high don't come around very often and he's up there with the Magpie mavericks of whatever era you recall. As we hopefully advance on and off the field, cherish the memories, watch his clips online and remember when he was the only game in our town. Merci, au revoir et bonne chance.

He needs to invest in some new joggers those must be stained to fuck

Cheers HMHM, it's good to know who the reliables are around this place.

Gipetto reckons the Amazon documentary will mention Sunderland in the first few sentences. And the other example reckons we're just copying Sunderland by having the documentary. Amanda: "Hello? Is that Amazon media productions? Hi it's Amanda Stavely here. I'm desperate to copy Sunderland and have a documentary about being relegated to the third division, sorry, I mean a documentary about the club as we hopefully have a good season." Amazon: "Yep, we can do that. This upcoming season ok?" Amanda: "That would be great. One other thing, can you make sure you mention Sunderland in the first few sentences of the first programme?" Amazon: "Do Marras shit in public places?" Amanda and Amazon: [ROFL]

just popped on to rtg and somehow I'm allowed back on parsnip, anyway just thought I'd see what they make of our new signing, surprisingly.....

£40m for Livramento will, in 3 seasons or so, be considered a total bargain. You heard it here first™️

Considering the England tax, the Newcastle tax, and factoring in his potential and the level he's already at, at 20, that's about as good a price as we could expect. Surgery for ACL's has come a long way and if you get a good surgeon your ACL can actually end up stronger initially, and then eventually might become only slightly weaker than before it was injured. In any case there's no way the club will spend 40m on a player if they aren't happy with the medical results.

Yeah me too but we need numbers don't we? Just 2 centre forwards for a CL season and no centre half cover!